I received a package from the fabulous GL Hoffman on Saturday with two books and a very nice hand written note. GL is the founder of the revolutionary job site Linkup.com and of the blog, What Would Dad Say. He thought I’d really enjoy reading Debra Shigley’s “The Go-Getter Girl’s Guide,” and he was so right!
I haven’t been able to put this book down and therefore I will be doing a series of weekly blog posts on exceptionally useful chapters for you “Go-Getter Girls.”
I’m going to start by reviewing Chapter 2 which is titled “The Work World Can Be a Cold, Hard Place- You Must Learn to Deal with It.” This title alone made me so happy. For once no one is sugar coating the truth, telling you to go to HR, or saying that they are wrong and you are right. Sure, your co-workers might be jealous, catty and ridiculous but why should you care?
Here are the major takeaways from Chapter 2:
There are a hundred reasons why your co-workers may not like you. Stop focusing on WHY and instead make it your motivator to keep moving your career forward. Do all of your co-workers like YOU? Do you feel tension at the office? How will this new way of thinking help you?
There might be some truth in your colleagues critiques. You are NOT at the top, so there is probably some truth in what they are saying. LISTEN.
Fake it ’till you make it, sister! Walk in the office each day like you “won the lottery.” That feeling will get you through the tough days.
Again, not every person at work is going to like you.
Be prepared when going into a meeting that may result in mean spirited attacks disguised as feedback. Keep the meeting on track and if things get off course, offer to schedule a different time to discuss those issues.
Your “friends” at work aren’t necesarily your friends. In some industries, they may be your competition. Keep that in mind so you aren’t surprised if they undermine you or disappoint you. Have you ever been “double crossed” by a co-worker that you thought was your friend?
DO NOT GOSSIP EVER- NO EXCUSES! Politely deflect and after a few times people will stop bitching to you. This is a tough one. What tips would you have for other girls on how to handle and avoid gossip?
In the same respect, stop bitching to your cubicle mate- save that for your friends and family after work hours.
Try your hardest not to ever cry at work. If it does happen, don’t obsess over it. Pretend it didn’t happen and move on. Have you lost it at work? How did you deal?
Ladies, I’d love to hear about situations like this that have happened to you. Do you think Debra’s advice is too harsh?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree with all of your points. We all spend too much time worrying if our co-workers “like” us, when we should be focusing on how we can better ourselves and our job performance. Undoubtedly, how well you do your job and the amount of effort you put in directly affects how well you get along with your co-workers. I am in a less-than-ideal co-worker situation in which 2 of us are carrying all of the weight in the office, and we are beginning to resent the others. The situation will only get worse, considering we just lost an employee. How do you motivate the others in the office to take on some of the extra workload?
K, Have you considered sending an email out to your team that suggests a regular morning “pow-wow” to go over delegating tasks and responsibilities? The meeting could be held for 10 minutes each morning or maybe even just 15 minutes or so every Monday morning. I’m sure some people will groan and roll their eyes when this email initially gets sent out, but in the end you look the leader in the office for bringing everyone together, showing initiative, and ultimately making sure all of the work gets done. I imagine some type of delegation is crucial in your situation, otherwise you may lose more employees to stress and unhapiness because of the grueling work load. Let us know how you decide to handle it! -Nicole
I’m definitely going to pick this book up, sounds like a good one to have. I will be following your posts on it too, because I really enjoyed this one. I love what you included, and I don’t like it when authors sugar coat things either! So I don’t think it’s too harsh. I’m still a student, but many jobs I’ve held there’s been gossip – from both women AND men! It makes people look really slimy and unprofessional. Although I understand that there’s going to be tension, there are so many better ways to handle it. I also love the “fake-it-til-you-make-it” mentality. Waking up with a smile on your face and a positive attitude means so much. During my internship this summer I would have friends or people at work say “Wow, you get up so early, I don’t know how you do it” or something along those lines. Although I did work long hours and got up early I never complained – I didn’t want people to see a weakness or that I was feeling down on myself or my job (even though I WAS tired some days) I think that’s important too!
I think I am going to have to look into this book as well. I agree with the points and i would prefer less sugar coating by everyone!
I just got transferred to a new office and it makes me miss my old office.