This is certainly something I am working on. There is a fine line between having humility and being self-deprecating…and I tend to fall toward self-deprecating.

Dare I start a firestorm, but I think that women are particularly prone to devaluing themselves, especially in business and freelance settings (like in your example above about stating vs. waffling in telling a client about rates). Though I’m currently in grad school and plan to start a business in 2011, I’ve had harrowing experiences in the corporate world of bumping into the glass ceiling. Fortunately, I learned to chuck grenades through those glass ceilings, but not until after having drug my feet and been painfully tentative in asking for raises, promotions and opportunities. And though I’m not currently playing on the corporate career playground, I’m still learning about valuing my skills and contributions. Really–valuing *myself.*

I’m working on my speech (as you suggested!) and trying to catch myself before hmming and hawing and then devaluing myself. I’m just SURE there’s a way to be beautifully graceful in all of this. Though I still like to chuck {figurative} grenades every once in a while.

If confidence isn’t natural, I think it’s a great idea to practice saying what you want. There’s nothing wrong with scripting yourself if you aren’t a natural at closing the deal. Soon enough you’ll be a natural.

Michael Port uses an analogy of the “Red carpet.” This means you only let it the best people who you enjoy working with. Working for those who aren’t willing to pay your rate are not only a huge pain in the ass with unrealistic expectations, but their attitude costs you in terms of stress. Working with those who pay you fairly often make you happier, them happier which ultimately leads to more referrals and more business.

Having generated my first couple hundred dollars in freelance income, I agree that that you place a certain value on yourself and if your value is 10 bucks an hour, then people are likely to think they are not getting quality.