- 1 cup of patience
- 5 cups of optimism
- 3 cups of unconditional love
- Sprinkled with a passion for your career
I spent the first two days of this week at the strangest funeral I’ve ever been to.
Everyone was smiling, laughing, telling hilarious stories, eating great food, and embracing distant friends as if they were family. I’m not even going to call it a funeral because it wasn’t. It was a huge celebration of an amazing man’s life.
This man is my boyfriend’s grandfather. He lived until 92. He was married for 64 years to a woman he was madly in love with until the end. He had 8 children, 34 grandchildren and 31 great-grandchildren. He was larger than life. He had a great (and sometimes crass) sense of humor and he LOVED his career in sales. I mean it when I say that he positively influenced everyone who came into his life.
I came back to work on Wednesday after two full days of being with this huge and wonderful family. I was more rejuvenated from these two days than I have ever been in my life.
I want to continue the flow of positive energy by sharing a few of the reminders I got from attending this celebration. These are very basic concepts but in the thick of life, it’s good to be reminded of them.
- Life is a lot simpler than we make it. Unconditional love and a positive attitude are the foundation of a good life.
- I know for a fact that living your life with a career you love is the best way to live it. It sets the back drop for the rest of your life and brings happiness to you each day. I loved hearing all the positive stories from people who had worked with ”grandpops” over the years, sharing his zest for sales.
- If you love your career, it positively influences everything you do. Hopefully you’ll also be good at it and so you can amply provide for your family. How else would this man be able to raise 8 kids and always have a smile on his face?!
- Family is a person’s greatest asset. Family provides endless returns of personal “wealth.” It means nothing if your family doesn’t love you.
- Accepting and embracing other people wholly without judgement is so much more fulfilling than not. Care about the people you meet. Get to know them.
- No hurdle is as big as you make it.
The two days I experienced cannot be duplicated in a blog post. You’d have to be there to believe and feel the amount of positive energy in every room. It was electric. Let’s keep it going.
- How do you want to be remembered?
- How has the loss of an important person changed your life?
- Do you think career happiness leads to happiness in other areas of your life?
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
A. May. Zing. Every time I think something is better than talking to my mom, my sister, or my best friend on the phone, I do it and realize nothing compares.
It sounds strange, but the person that’s the most proud of me, isn’t even here anymore. I feel him everyday, in the sunshine, in watching a basketball game, in having a great day at work. As hard as it is to lose someone close to you, down the road, knowing that someone is watching over you, is undeniably comforting. I miss him like crazy, but at the same time, he had and still has an amazing influence on my life.
I totally understand what you mean and I agree that they are always with us in everything we do. For some reason it seems easier to think about what they would do before making a big decision than asking someone here. Perhaps it’s because they have a more realistic view than those of us caught up in the little details of life.
Hey Nicole,
That’s pretty amazing. Usually when people think of a funeral, its’ this sober, sad experience. But, when you are somebody who is larger than life that impact is amazing. In fact I used to jokingly tell one of my friends “At my funeral, I won’t you to invite all our closest friends to a bar, and pay for all their drinks.” As far as career happiness, I think it can be an important part of happiness in all areas of our lives. We spend so much time at our jobs (about 70% of our lives), so I think it is important.
Srini, That sounds like a terribly fun funeral! I agree that I’d much prefer a party to a painful crying fest. Great food, wine and pictures required. Live life with zest and end life with zest!
I just had the same experience last week! (I shared my experience on my blog as well, please let me know what you think!) It’s such a strange feeling finding joy and laughter at a funeral, but without a doubt, that’s how I’d want to be remembered.
Dear Nicole,
Thank you for remembering my Dad in such a meaningful way. I am definitely one of your biggest fans!
Hi Aunt Jody! Thank you so much for stopping by!! I’m one of your biggest fans too
I don’t believe you really “get” life until you mourn the loss of someone you loved through death. I know that sounds kind of morbid, but I speak from experience. Being the daughter of a single mother, made my grandmother practically a second mother to me. In fact, I was closer to her then my mother.
My grandma passed away less than a year ago and fought like hell for 7-years, as she battled cancer. Through mourning the loss of her life, I figured out “how to live”, myself. It’s something that everybody goes through. Loosing a loved one, reminded me what’s important in life and actions (visiting, calling, etc…) I should take for loved ones still with me.
Death reminds us to live in the moment and more importantly, to enjoy them and treasure every second of life. My thoughts and prayers go out to your boyfriend’s family, but based on your post it seems that they are a very close-knit bunch and I’m confident they will get through their loss and have found memories of grandpa to pass down to generations to come.
Hi Nic. I have to say, this is one my favorite posts you have written. I do believe that happiness is contagious, in all aspects of your life. I don’t think it really matters what area it starts in- I think it matters where you spread it. Happiness is a choice, one that is much easier than people think. And family is definitely a number one priority- whether it is the family you were given, or the family you make
Great job girl! xoxo
For anyone who may actually be reading this comment, Katie is my best friend. Any post about paying off debt, saving money, or living within your means was inspired by her and her Mom. Katie actually inspires a lot of my posts. She is also probably THE only person who has read my blog every SINGLE day since I started blogging. She is for sure my family.
Kate- I agree, happiness is definitely a choice. And spreading it is SOO much fun (Especially when there is pink champagne involved!)!
Nicole, I just loved reading about your experience at Grandpops’ funeral!!! It truly was a joyous couple of days, wasn’t it? I can’t imagine a more fitting way to remember them both, than laughing and spending time with the family that they started! I’m so thankful that I was there to be a part of it all! It was great meeting you, and I look forward to seeing you again at other family get-togethers!
Take care!!!
Kelly (Zack’s wife)
It was SO great meeting you too! You did a beautiful job singing at mass. As soon as I heard your voice, I looked up and obnoxiously poked until I found out whose beautiful voice that was. Thanks for sharing your talent with such a big crowd! Really looking forward to seeing you and your adorable munchkin again soon!
Nicole
Hey Nicole,
I assume by “adorable munchkin” you mean me. It was so nice meeting you at the funeral. You did manage to bring a tear to my eye thinking about how amazing Gampops/Grandpops was. His funeral celebration was such an amazing tribute to such an amazing life. Thank you for blogging about that.
Nicole,
I consider myself very fortunate to have been friend’s of this amazing family for too many years to mention. You captured it beautifully. Thank you for putting your experience into words.
Jody (aka J-Dubs according to Thano)-
Thank you for your comment. It really has been a pleasure in my short time knowing this family so I can only imagine how amazing it has been for you over the years.
I had a lot of fun meeting your sister and am looking forward to spending more time with you up north this summer!
Nicole
It’s funny – growing up and through college, I NEVER thought my career would be such an important part of my life. That may sound crazy – you may be wondering how I could possibly think that, but seriously, I thought I could be “OK” with my job and have the rest of my life to enjoy. But, plain and simple, it isn’t the case. Your career is SUCH a critical part of your life and one of the most important ingredients to happiness. Of course your family, friends, and health comes first, but your career path ranks right up there with everything else.
You are the type of person that can and will make a difference in everyone’s life who takes the time to invest in you. Because you believe in people, you push them to be at their best, and you are passionate about life (as is seen here). I’ve witnessed it first hand, and there’s absolutely nothing that could come in your way to stop you from doing everything you want. The same goes for me, the same goes for everyone. Our future is out there for the taking – we’d all be so luck to live such a life as you described of Thano’s grandfather. To have so many people coming together to not mourn, but CELEBRATE the life is a testament to what he accomplished and who he influenced here on Earth.
One of our absolute best ones yet Nicole. These personal (and sometimes traumatic) experiences have a knack for bringing out the best in us.
Oh Matt. What a nice comment. I have lots I can say here, but it all boils down to the fact that I’m very thankful for your friendship. I’m glad we can push each other where we need to be pushed!
I also will always laugh about how pissed off I was after our first meeting.
This post describes all the things that are so easy to forget until you’re forced to stop and take the time to remember.
Thanks for writing it and sharing it with us.
Nicole:
You did a wonderful job of writing this article and as you saw this weekend Tom Johnson left a large impression on the family. I am so happy to be part of this family and bringing my family into this family. As Grandpops said if your kids don’t love you – you have nothing. He and Betty raised a wonderful seven daughters and one son and now with all the grand children and great grand children this family shows what love does in a family. Great article and glad you where part of it.
Chet
Chet,
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! I get quite excited about comments from friends and family.
Yes, the Johnson family and beyond is unbelievable. Really. I love the way everyone there was considered family if they were blood related or not. The kindness and respect shown was a great example of how I want to live my life.
Looking forward to celebrating the formation of another new family in May!
Nicole
On a lighter note, I’ve felt less inclined to pick on Thano for the little things. I think to myself, “what would Betty Ann do?” Then I shut my mouth and remember how lucky I am to have him in my life.
Nicole –
I love this post. I think that many people don’t ever understand these ideas — even by the end of their life. Optimism makes even difficult situations look (and feel) easy and fun. I love that you already get that and you’re surrounding yourself with other people who do too. That is huge. I’m a big fan who is really impressed
.
Gina xoxo
Hey Aunt Gina!
Apparently today is Family Day at Ms. Career Girl and I love it!
You’re right, optimism really does make difficult situations feel easy and fun. In fact, laughing at yourself and pushing through it at least calls for some great stories! If I didn’t have optimism I’d have been stuck in a rut years ago!
Thanks for reading and commenting! See you at Michael’s wedding!
Nicole