As I wrote in an email to a friend this morning, “this week’s episode of ‘Nicole’s Life’ has been an interesting one. ”  How about yours? 

Without getting too juicy (I really wish I could) I’ll say that this week was full of unexpected and exciting surprises at work and in my career beyond my day job.  In addition, this week I tried to stay true to my efforts of curing “the pleasing disease” and trusting my gut. 

Cheesy Lessons and Quirky Thoughts that were part of my week

• Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results.  Apply this to just about anything- dating, relationships, work and your general habits.  (Maybe we should substitute this one with the saying, “some things never change.”)
• The principle of “good timing” is a huge lie.  There is no such thing.
• Simple changes to diet and exercise have a big impact on my mental clarity and outlook. 
• Mint green nail polish is really interesting. I can’t decide if I love it or if it looks more like fungus. 
• My iPhone isn’t as magical as I once thought.  Apparently others at ihatemyiphone.com and the iPhone critics at the NY Times agree. Just like dating, when the honeymoon stage ends and the rose colored glasses come off, things look a bit different.  I’m pretty disappointed and also pretty shocked that I bought into Apple’s iPhone4 marketing as much as I did.  In real life, it has been an absolute disaster.
• Every woman should read, “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office” by Dr. Lois Frankel.  It’s shocking how many little habits we women have that give off a totally different impression than we intended.  I’ve tried a few of these simple changes already this week.  They really did produce results.  I wish I could elaborate, but for now let’s leave it at that.  I even tried them out on my boyfriend (shhh!).
• When it rains, it pours. 
• I really, really love cheese.
• Silence or a pause can change the course of a conversation.  I had my mid-year review this week.  I did more listening than talking- a change for me in this setting. I felt better about the meeting in the end.
• The Metropolitan Club’s junior membership is pretty awesome for $100 per month. I’m surprised at all the benefits and opportunities that could be gained through joining a private club like this. 
• Thank God for mentors like John Head or I wouldn’t get to go to cool places like The Metropolitan Club.  And thank you, John, for introducing me to Christine this week.  You both gave me so much to “chew on.”
• 5 inch heels at the office did nothing but solicit comments and make my back hurt the next day.
• You don’t need to smile all the time. In fact, in certain work situations I think it is a bad thing.
• I decided that most women appologize way too much for no reason (both at work and at home).   Let’s come together and ban this bad habit.
• A 20″ pizza is HUGE.  Katie and I ordered one this week because that was the only size the place had.  A pizza that big is pretty funny for only 2 girls.
• If in doubt, 100% authenticty is the way to go.  Plus a few “positioning” tactics from Lois Frankel’s book of course.

Your turn.

How was YOUR week? 

What did you learn? 

What were you reminded of? 

What can we learn from you?

Today’s post is an interview with the one and only, Ms. Emily Bennington.  Emily and I met in person for the first time in Columbus, Ohio about 2 weeks ago.  We spent the day sharing story after story about work, life and our first few years after college.  As you can imagine, we laughed just as much as we talked!

Meeting with Emily was not only a lot of fun, but it also showed me how much I still have to learn.  Ten years her junior, I really admire women like Emily.  She knows her stuff and she does it all: she has a family, volunteers in her community, rocks at work, is a part-time college professor AND writes books.  Um, bring on the caffeine!

I’m very excited to announce and support Emily’s first published book, Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. I’ve been reading this little gem and find it fun, easy to read and extremley relevant whether you are still in college or have been working for 5 years.

Emily had a rough start to corporate life.  Her stories are pretty funny and all true.  Emily co-wrote Effective Immediately with her first post-college mentor, Skip Lineberg, who was there to witness and guide her through many “rookie” moments.

There’s also a second reason I want to introduce you to Emily Bennington.  You’ll be seeing a lot more of Emily here on Ms. Career Girl.  Why?

Welllll,  Emily and I are currently working on a proposal for an absolutely AWESOME book for young women in corporate environments.  I’ve done lots of research (and let’s be honest, I’ve probably read 35 of our new book’s “competitors”)  and there is NO book out there like the one we are working on.  Get excited ambitious ladies!

On to the interview, please meet Emily Bennington!

Tell us about your most embarrassing entry-level career moment.

I was working PR on a grassroots advocacy campaign for a regional airport project and I sent out a press release stating that Senator Rockefeller endorsed our position. Problem was, I failed to run the release by the senator’s staff. As it turned out, he didn’t endorse it at all and so my mistake became the story. I knew I was in trouble when the reporter called me for a quote and, sure enough, the next day I was greeted with a front page, above-the-fold article quoting the President of our County Commission saying, “I don’t know who sent that release, but whoever it was should be fired.” I seriously thought I was going to lose my job. Fortunately, my boss understood it was a rookie mistake and let me slide with a warning, but my dad calls me “Miss Information” to this day.

A lot of recent grads have trouble transitioning their wardrobe from “class to classy”.  What was your concept of “business casual” back in the day?

Haha. I know this is a loaded question because you already know the answer! When I entered the workforce, I obviously made a physical transition, but it took me a while to make the mental one.  In many ways, I still saw myself as living the college life (going out dancing on a work night for example) and my wardrobe was a reflection of that. I wore things I thought would easily go from day-to-night, but were really just inappropriate for the office. One time I was changing in the office kitchen and my boss’ husband walked in on me! The first question is, of course, why was I changing in the kitchen? (The answer is: I have no idea.) However, I look back on that and see someone who was still more concerned with having fun than being taken seriously as a professional. I’ve learned a ton since then about the importance of being in control of the image you project, and it definitely starts with how you dress.

You’ve told me a bit about your co-author, Skip Lineberg, who was also your first post-college mentor.  What role did Skip play in your early career and life?

Skip was the first person to take a proactive interest in my success and professional development. At the beginning of my career, Skip really spent a lot of time coaching and challenging me to be better. One example I’ll never forget was when I had my first performance review and asked for a raise, Skip made me “demonstrate I was worth it” by successfully completing a series of projects ranging from writing a review of How to Win Friends and Influence People to finding a logistical “problem” in the office and solving it using TQM processes. At the time, a lot of my friends and family were puzzled by this, wondering why he didn’t just give me the raise I’d already earned, but I knew better. I saw Skip’s challenge as an opportunity to prove to him that I was not only worth more money, but more responsibility as well. Since then, our relationship has evolved into more of a partnership than a mentor / student connection, but I’m so blessed that we’re still able to work together after all these years.

How important do you think mentors are for ambitious young professionals?

Mentors are incredibly important but they are also an endangered species. Businesses are just so lean these days and everyone is busy enough doing their own jobs, so they don’t have much time to coach someone else along. I was talking about this today with a group of friends at lunch. All of us are in different fields, all successful in our own right, yet NONE of us had been trained in the jobs we hold currently. I think this “sink or swim” mentality is an epidemic in the workforce and really reinforces the need for employers to devote more resources to training and staff development. However, young professionals need to know that, sadly, the odds of having a great mentor aren’t good and they should be prepared to invest in their own success as well.

For young women who are looking to become working career Moms in the future, how do you think we can best set ourselves up for this path from the start?

This is a tricky question because the answer is different for everyone. Personally, I was 29 when I had my first child and I can say with complete certainty that – yes – waiting a little longer allowed me to become more established in my career. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I wish I would havehad them earlier, but the flip side is that kids are expensive and it’s nice to be able to afford the two I have. I don’t harbor any regrets about being a working mom and I definitely don’t allow anyone to make me feel guilty about it either. So the best advice I can giveto career moms is to be 100% present where you are. In other words, if you’re at work, give100% to your job. If you’re at home, give 100% to your family. I promise you it won’t be a perfect 50/50 split all the time, but your work will make you appreciate your children more… and vice versa.

Check out Emily’s blog professionalstudio365.com, follow Effective Immediately on Facebook and buy her book on Amazon.com!

Happy Book Review Tuesday! Today is our final week of talking about Alexandra Levit’s new book, “New Job, New You.“

Money. A dirty word for some, a motivator for most. If you think money is a dirty word, you’re probably reading the wrong blog.

Despite the ongoing debate about money being the root of all evil, it can also be the root of opportunities, education, living debt-free and helping others.

Is Money Your Motivation for Career change?

Consider the following questions which are taken right from New Job, New You.

• Have you been told that there just isn’t any money in your field anymore?
• Does the foreseeable trajectory for your career make it impossible to meet your long-term financial goals?
• Has your salary hovered in the same range for three to five years?
• Do you work fifty-plus hours a week, but find that you’re still struggling to make ends meet?
• Do you find yourself constantly in debt because you are spending much more than you earn?
• Does your current career fail to offer you a means to save for your future, especially retirement?

If you answered “Yes” to many of these questions, you may be ready for a new career path.

How do I get on a new career path?!

1. Take a hard look at your financial situation. Determine what more you would need and if you have the means to survive a career transition.
2. Write down 3 industries you are interested in working in that have high income potential.
3. Network with/meet two successful people in these industries and ask them to lunch or coffee. Ask away- positives, negatives, tips, transition advice, how to succeed in the industry, etc.
4. Write down action steps you need to take which will lead to eventually doubling your income. Put them somewhere you can see them, look at them often!

Once you do your research, here are a few of Alexandra Levit’s suggestions for next steps:

1. Get out of debt! Why? Because it’s hard to get ahead in any career when you are drowning in debt. Levit recommends that you stop accumulating new debt, stop recurring payments (for example gym memberships, netflix, online gaming accounts) and establish an emergency fund starting with $1,000.
   
2. Choose a lucrative field. Check out payscale.com for lots of information on different fields.  Despite common beliefs, not all high paying jobs are miserable!  Also, sales can be one of the most profitable careers but beware of shady commission structures and false promises.
3. Consider relocation. Levit recommends considering a more affordable city.  For example, your money will stretch much further in Atlanta and Dallas than it will in New York City or San Francisco.  If you’re set on big city living, consider downsizing to a more affordable place.
   
4. Start a side business. This is obviously my favorite of the four.  Not only can a small side business eventually turn into a full-time gig, it serves as career insurance if you are laid off.  It may also be something fun that gets you excited outside of your day job.  If you’re not sure what business to get into, start by going to elance.com and check out freelance projects people are looking to hire for.  It may spark ideas of matching your skills with other peoples needs.
5. You should probably read New Job, New You. That’s where all this advice came from.  I have a feeling it will clear your confusion and get you started on a new path.

Recommended Books

• Make Money, Not Excuses: Wake Up, Take Charge and Overcome Your Financial Fears Forever
• Make More, Worry Less, Secrets from 18 Extraordinary People Who Created a Better Income and a Better Life
• The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
• The Millionaire Mind One of my all time favorite books!

I just finished reading Jen Lancaster’s first book, Bitter is The New Black, today.  I’m not sure WHY it took me so long to start reading this masterpiece, but the good news is that it didn’t take me more than a few days to finish it.  I very rarely read books that are not business related, so this book was a really fun brain vacation for me. 

Since I too am a sassy Chicago native, I found Jen’s jokes hilarious about the pan handlers, anorexic and constantly hungover young PR girls, expensive salons, over-spending on rent, maxing yourself out on Michigan Ave after a bad day, bringing her Prada bag to the unemployment office and feeling entitled to a lifestyle that is so unrealistic for most. 

The first half of the book made me want to just go out for a shopping spree and then for drinks in the Gold Coast with no shame.  This is what us Chicago business women live for, right?

But then fancy Jen gets laid off from her VP job that pays for her lifestyle (and sometimes enables her bad attitude to those who are “beneath” her).  After TWO YEARS of searching for a new job, losing her apartment, and losing all rights to shopping,  her blog jennsylvania.com was born which transitioned Jen into a writing career. 

What can we learn from Ms. Lancaster, ladies?

The bubble will probably burst.  Beware of living like a celebrity just becasue you feel you deserve designer shoes, bags, and clothes.  Endless nights at Le Passage and Crimson Lounge are not designed for everyone. Credit cards get maxed out, people lose their jobs, and being cute does not help with getting out of eviction notices.

 Do you really need that?  I am not saying this to be like your Mother, rather, I am saying it because this is the story of my life.  If I added up the money I spent on lattes, tans, highlights, impulse Forever 21 buys, and new books I’d probably be a lot farther ahead. 

 Don’t assume your company will take care of you forever.  It seems that Jen really believed she was an indespensable part of her company.  Rightfully so too, considering she was the top salesperson and won a huge commpetition within her company.  But obviously that was not enough.  Even after she left she assumed she would receive a huge severance package but didn’t.  In shaky economic times, get real about your job security.  This may mean picking up a part-time job, networking, or freelancing to give yourself extra security in case something unexpected happens.  Unfortunately we are living in an era where we should learn to prepare for the worst.

 Savings are good.  Once Jen and her husband started packing to move to their skeevy ”West Side” place from their glamorous pad in Bucktown, Jen started packing and realized that if she had spent less on designer CRAP she would be able to afford health insurance, her car, rent and groceries.  Reading this made me quiver a little bit because I think we’ve all been guilty of overspending.

The good news is that Jen came out on top.  Her 4th book, Pretty in Plaid, went on sale yesterday!  GO JEN! And thanks for teaching us young, selfish, x-sorority girls what NOT to do before we end up in a bind.

I had the honor of meeting Kendra Kett at a Ladies Who Launch workshop I attended about a month ago and knew immediately that I wanted to feature her in a Ms. Career Girl post. Even before I got the chance to speak with Kendra one-on-one, I was intrigued by her. Kendra is the author and illustrator of “The Pinwheel Girl Takes Flight,” a poetic and unique book which illustrates every woman’s journey through seven stages of transformation.

Here are some excerpts from my interview with Ms. Kett. Although the concepts may seem a bit artsy or foreign at first, I think many of us can relate to having an
inner-voice that we don’t always listen to as much as we should.

What is a Pinwheel Girl?

The Pinwheel Girl is a new icon for womanhood! She is a metaphor for the Inner Voice — always whispering to us, nudging us along, reminding us of the essential Truths of our lives. She is always accessible and ever present — if we seek her and listen to her, she is there. She teaches us that the life of a Woman is to go in and out of stages of transitions and transformations with courage, grace, dignity, and compassion for ourselves. She is always encouraging you to – and through – the stages of your life. The Pinwheel Girl is Every Woman.

What inspired you to write the book, The Pinwheel Girl Takes Flight ~ Every Woman’s Journey Through Seven Stages of Transformation?

I wrote the book in response to many things happening all at once that seemed to reach critical mass. I’d been a novice writer all my life, since I was two years old, and also an artist, always drawing, pasting, cutting, writing — and dreaming. I have a poetic way of speaking sometimes and I tend to “see” in metaphor and symbolism.

As I grew older, though, my emphasis became that of following the rules, doing what was expected of me, playing parts, and just “going along” without a real plan for my life. The sheer routine of life, marriage, parenthood, and career propelled me forward in a non-thinking manner and the next thing I knew I was at a midlife crossroads filled with deep regret and depression about the choices I had made and not made, as well as fear for my future.

Interestingly enough, however, all along I had been collecting art supplies sort of on a subconscious level, and storing them in a room above my garage, even though I had long ago abandoned any artistic outlets. One day I “saw” that I had enough supplies to create an art studio and that is what I did. It was a moment of clarity amidst all the confusion.

I desperately wanted to express somehow the pain, despair and heartache that I was experiencing. I felt that somehow I had just not lived up to my potential. I had abandoned so much of my dreams and myself and left them laying on the side of some road somewhere. So the first thing that I drew was a pinwheel. Stuck on a stick. Spinning in a circle. Going nowhere.

Eventually I made the little pinwheel “jump” off the stick and fly free in the wind. And when it landed I saw that the now unfolded flaps looked like arms and legs and they were communicating in a pose. So I morphed the little pinwheel, now free and un-tethered, into a woman and the Pinwheel Girl was born. See her belly button? She got that from the nail that used to hold her down on the stick.
To cope with an impending midlife transition and a divorce, I drew and drew. And drew. I had over 100 images of the Pinwheel Girl and over 100 “messages from the wind” to go with them — poetic little phrases culled from my experiences, my journals, my dreams, and my own Inner Voice which was helping me face my situation with sheer determination and courage despite the sorrow.

I saw that as I evolved and changed through my midlife experience, divorce, and a lot of self-help, the drawings and messages of the Pinwheel Girl conveyed those changes and they were organized into seven distinct stages. It was then that I thought I should create a book and product line for other women who might also be feeling loss, betrayal, confusion, despair, fear, uncertainty, and a need to heal herself.

What do you think young women in their twenties can most learn from the Pinwheel Girl?

I think the Pinwheel Girl has so much to offer any woman of any age!

The Pinwheel Girl offers many nuggets of wisdom and guidance to young women. First and foremost, she is an advocate of honoring yourself, listening to yourself, trusting in yourself, and heeding your intuitive wisdom.
For example, “You know what to do” is one of her messages and she really means this! “You know what to do!” On the surface level this means you don’t need anyone bossing you around. On a deeper level it means that you have the answers to all of your questions and pursuits — those answers lie within you.

The Pinwheel Girl offers young women the courage, strength, and curiosity to excavate that intuitive knowledge and to stay with it. To stay the course. Too often our culture marginalizes what young women think and feel and with this pressure it is easy for us to give up on ourselves, resign ourselves, or to minimize our thoughts, feelings and intuition. The Pinwheel Girl helps you to resist that temptation. She is your strongest ally!

Secondly, I feel that the Pinwheel Girl offers a new way of encouraging and healing ourselves. She taps into your reservoirs of strength and shows that to you. Young women have so much to face today, so much to juggle, many stresses and concerns about their future, and so many overwhelming options to consider. The mission of the Pinwheel Girl is to empower women to live the life they love and want, to pursue their dreams fearlessly, and to cultivate courage to face the tough times that will inevitably arise. She reminds you that no matter what you are invincible, larger than life, and eternal — so she’s a source of comfort. We can all use that these days!

The Pinwheel Girl also offers young women the idea that each stage of life, each stage of transition, each “change” we must face, has its merits no matter how negative and stressful some of those changes may feel at the start. She points out how the light is always brighter when you first see it in the dark. Managing change is often not as scary as we think it is. She says “hold on…even if it’s unfamiliar…” That’s the key, I think. Even when things are unfamiliar and unsteady, as our culture and climate is now, the Pinwheel Girl reminds young women that they can see in the dark.

Thank you Kendra for sharing your story and the story of The Pin Wheel girl!