Today’s post will resonate with many twentysomethings who don’t like their jobs and still have the opportunity to do something about it.  I agree with author, Jesse, when he says you don’t HAVE to accept career dissatisfaction as part of growing up.  Although changing jobs or industries may sometimes take a LONG time, it is entirely possible. BUT, it requires consistent action instead of consistent complaining.  Do you hate YOUR job?  What are you doing about it? -Nicole

Some people will have you believe that hating your job is something you will have to come to accept as a part of growing up and entering the workforce. Although there are aspects of every job that may be less than ideal, being filled with dread before each work day is a much more serious condition than facing minor annoyances throughout the workday. Regardless of the compensation that you may receive from a job you hate—higher pay, shorter hours, health benefits—the trade-off for your happiness and sense of purpose within your job often makes the perks seem insignificant by comparison. Remember that the main reason to have a job in the first place is to enjoy autonomy and financial security. When put in this perspective, having a job that forces you to sacrifice your happiness and well-being seems counterproductive in its very nature.

Ask Yourself What You Want

Although the job market may not necessarily be welcoming to newcomers, there are still opportunities available that can help you advance in your current career or switch to a new one to receive more fulfillment from your job. The first thing you have to do is identify what it is about your job that causes you the most dissatisfaction. Identifying problems within the job is the only way you will be able to determine appropriate and effective solutions. For example, if your biggest concern is your salary and benefits, this could potentially be solved by moving up within the company. If your problem lies with the industry you are in, you might have to seek more drastic solutions.

Take a Second Look at Education

One of the best ways you can set yourself up for advancement in your industry, or get your foot in the door in a preferred industry, is by extending your education. Acquiring an advanced degree in your field or a standard degree in the field of your choice can often be as easy as opening up your laptop. Widespread availability of online programs, or online class alternatives at traditional institutions can give you the opportunity to work toward furthering your education while keeping up with the demands at work. Although you can commit to a degree track, it may also be beneficial to just take a few advanced classes to give you an extra edge in your job search.

Get Info

The Internet is also an excellent tool for expanding your professional network after office hours. Conducting an effective job search while still meeting the requirements of your current job can be difficult, but websites like LinkedIn make it more accessible and convenient for you to connect with individuals in the industries of your choice. Additionally, social networking can allow you to increase your visibility and appeal in the job market, which means that potential employers can find you instead of the other way around. Through LinkedIn and other social networking websites, you have the opportunity to reach out to professionals of all kinds to obtain job leads and advice on how to find a job that is better-suited for your needs.

Your job shouldn’t make you feel trapped or unfulfilled. Understanding and taking full advantage of the opportunities available to you is the only way to find success in your preferred industry, while gaining more self-satisfaction from your job.

If you’re unhappy at work, do you know what type of job or career you’d prefer instead?

If you don’t know what you want to do yet, how are you going about finding your path?

What would you recommend for others who are unsure of their next career move?

Do you think some people will always be unhappy at work?

A big welcome to Melody Kiella!  This is Melody’s first guest post on MsCareerGirl.com!

Recently I made a job change that required me to reevaluate my career goals, step out of my comfort zone, and resign from my first professional position. I had been working as an in-house attorney for a small Atlanta-based company for a little over a year when I started to feel antsy, and in mid-September my eyes began to wander.

My wandering eyes had nothing to do with the people I was working with or my working environment.  It simply had to do with the fact that I wasn’t being challenged enough and I wasn’t growing at the rate that I wanted to be growing at. During my down time I started looking into potential job openings. Since I work in the legal field I wasn’t too positive that anything would happen, but in mid-November I got an email from a young lady indicating that her law firm wanted to interview me.

I went on the interview with no expectations and no plans. Part of me didn’t want to get my hopes up, and the other part of me knew that I had nothing to lose. I had a job and an incoming paycheck so there was no added pressure on me to nail the interview and please everyone I talked with. For the first time in my career I was able to actually enjoy the interview process and not stress out about what I said or didn’t say.

When the lunch interview was done I knew that everything had gone well. I had no doubt that I would be called back for another interview, and I was. The second interview was a little more intense because I met with about seven attorneys at the firm for a three hour period, but three days later I got the call that I was being offered the job. The second I got off the phone with the law firm I called my husband and we both cheered together. It was a great opportunity for me professionally and for us financially.

It wasn’t until the following morning that it hit me that I would have to tell my boss, whom I greatly admired and enjoyed working for, that I was leaving to go work somewhere else. I knew that he was going to be completely caught off guard and shocked, and I wasn’t looking forward to answering his why questions. Why are you leaving? Why didn’t you tell me you were unhappy?

The week leading up to “the talk” I asked a lot of people for their advice. Many of them told me that quitting was not a big deal; quitting was simply part of business. One of my friends told me that employers know when they hire young professionals that the chances are high that they will leave when a new opportunity arises. While I knew that all of this was true, it didn’t make going into my boss’s office any easier. I ultimately decided that breaking the bad news was best to do on a Friday. My husband convinced me that Friday would be the best day because it would allow my boss time to collect his thoughts over the weekend.

The week leading up to the Friday of “the talk” I wasn’t really that nervous, but when Friday morning arrived I could feel the nerves expanding in my stomach the closer I got to the office. When I arrived at the office I typed out an official resignation letter emphasizing how much I enjoyed working at the company and even typed out exactly what I wanted to say when I walked down to his office. I found that going over what I was going to say a few times in my head made my nervousness dwindle ever so slightly.

When my boss came in around 9 I walked down to his office with my shoulders pushed back and my head held high. I quietly knocked on the door and asked if he had a minute to speak. I sat down and tried to gather myself, but the moment I saw his happy, smiling face sitting across from me all of my preparedness went out the window. I took a deep breath and got right down to the facts. I was resigning. I was putting in my two weeks. I had a great opportunity that I couldn’t turn down. I was not leaving because I didn’t enjoy working for the company. Please don’t take this personally.

I am not going to go into details about what happened exactly (because that is between my boss and I), but it was not easy to tell someone that you enjoyed working for that you were resigning. In fact, I got teary eyed when I broke the news to him. Something about the shocked look that slowly crept onto his face and the close, personal bond that we had established throughout my tenure with the company made it impossible for me to keep my emotions inside. Looking back I wish I had refrained from letting those few tears come to the surface, but what could I do? I am human after all.

After the meeting was over I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. While I was sad about leaving my position and the people with whom I had grown close with, I was excited to have my first resignation under my belt (and hopefully my last) and have a new opportunity to learn and grow from.

As I know from personal experience, putting in your two week notice can be extremely nerve racking and difficult. While you are bound to be nervous before you walk into your boss’s office, remember that at the end of the day business is business no matter how much you like working for a particular employer. Your boss knows that resigning and moving on is a part of life. I am sure they have resigned from positions before and understand that sometimes an opportunity is too good to turn down. The most important part about giving your two weeks notice is to be respectful and to allow your boss enough time to find someone to replace you.

I am a firm believer that when it comes to your career and your life you need to take all of the opportunities that come your way. You never want to look back and wish you had done something different. So, if you are blessed with a new career opportunity but are scared of letting your boss or current company down, just make the decision that is best for you and never look back.

Have you ever had to leave a job you enjoyed?  How did you deliver the news?  What was your boss’s reaction?  

What tips do you have for others who want to resign with grace?

What resolutions should you be making in the new year?

When the calendar flipped to 2012, it ushered in a new year of potential and possibilities. As a job seeker looking to take the next step in your career, now is the time to make a resolution to turn the new year into a successful one.

As the world leader in workforce solutions, we know what it takes for professionals to succeed. So to help you, we’ve put together a list of recommended resolutions that can help you land your next great job.

Reassess your Career

Did you love your previous position? Did you want more out of your day-to-day? Is part of the reason things didn’t work out because you needed a more positive work environment?

Now is a good time to ask yourself these questions and determine whether or not you want to continue in the same line of work. John P. Strelecky, author of The Why Cafe, suggests that being unemployed is the ideal time to evaluate what you want to do with your career. According to Strelecky, 45% of Americans aren’t happy in their jobs, and if you are currently out of work, you are in the perfect position to explore a variety of options.

If you’re looking for a career change, try taking classes, volunteering or working on a contract or temporary basis to get the experience employers want to see. You’ll learn more about the industry and improve your chances of securing employment at the same time.

Refresh Your Online Profiles

Today, employers turn to social networks when evaluating candidates like you. That means Facebook isn’t just for friending old high school buddies. LinkedIn, Twitter, Google Plus and other online networking sites can also be great platforms to present and market yourself. Of course, you also need to check your privacy preferences to make sure the information you post can only be seen by appropriate audiences. You wouldn’t want a recruiter stumbling upon photos from your wild weekend getaway.

Your LinkedIn profile is especially important, as it is the most popular professional networking site. Click here for a list of recommendations to help you get the most out of your LinkedIn profile.

No matter what service you use, be sure to keep your information up to date to increase visibility and catch the eye of recruiters or potential employers.

Revamp your network

Building up a network of professional contacts – and potential references – could help you in your job search. After all, “who you know” is often just as important as “what you know.”

So how can you build a solid network? You can start by reaching out to former colleagues, bosses and associates immediately. Solidifying these relationships can take time and effort, and you don’t want to miss out on potential opportunities or potential references.

You should also be selective when it comes to building your network; don’t contact people in the hopes of getting a recommendation for a position if you have no prior history with them. Instead, start a conversation on a blog or social networking site, comment on statuses, offer advice where appropriate, and position yourself as a resource. Remember that maintaining your network is a continuous endeavor and remaining in contact with your colleagues will be a vital part of your success.

Rewrite your Resume

Without a doubt, your resume and your cover letter are two of the most important pieces of content in your job search. They are the first things recruiters and hiring managers see and a poorly written or unprofessional looking resume can cost you a job even if you are a great match. That’s why it is so important to make sure yours is up to date and appeals to prospective employers.

According to US News, there are a few steps you can take make a good first impression with your resume. First, tailor your resume to the job. Create unique resumes for each individual opportunity in order to highlight the skills that are specific to the position. Furthermore, be sure to read the application carefully and follow all the instructions. This simple step can provide you with a leg up on other candidates who are applying to jobs without taking the small details into consideration.

Lastly, keep your resume simple. Leave out any irrelevant information, personal information, and photos, etc. You want your resume to be easy to read for the employer. If it takes too much time or effort to review your application, a potential employer will likely move on to the next candidate.

Revitalize your marketable skills

The Government of Alberta detailed the three critical skills that employers are looking for:

• Transferable skills, such as computer and technology aptitude, are very flexible and useful in a variety of jobs and industries.
• Time management skills and the ability to effectively manage your workload and schedule are also paramount.
• Work-specific skills, the ones you will use every day in your chosen career path, should be continually refined. In addition to taking professional development courses, temporary positions can help you gain real world experience and bolster your skill set to appeal to future employers.

As an Adecco associate, you’ll have free access to our online skills training programs.  We offer access to thousands of courses across professional fields that will enable you to brush up on your skills- or learn new ones.

You have the power to make 2012 a truly awesome year. Take the time to enact these resolutions in order to enhance your job search and land your dream job.

But remember, these tips are just the start when it comes to putting your dream job within reach. For more tips and career advice, visit Adecco Staffing Services or contact your local Adecco office today.

And now for a Contest!

Adecco USA will be running a “New Year, New You” contest starting January 15, 2012. Check out the Adecco Facebook page for more details, and find out how you could win daily prizes throughout January 2012!

One grand prize winner will  receive an interview suit and laptop- stayed tuned, and you could be on the path to career success!

Ms. Career Girl Contest

Now that you have these great New Year’s resolutions, which one are you going to stick with? Do you have another resolution that would be great for women in the workforce? Leave a comment here and the best idea will win a $50 visa gift card!  The winner will be announced on our Facebook page on Friday January 13th at 5pm CST.

Today’s guest post by Dave Thomas really resonates with me.  As a self-employed gal myself, I can tell you that these fears don’t really go away even after you’ve decided to take the plunge into entrepreneurship.  I just got off the phone with a friend who is self-employed and we both discussed how on bad days we are tempted to go back to a day job for that steady pay check.  We debate how much we can afford to pay our interns and staff, we get easily distracted from our goals when client work gets busy and we could spend all day trying to build up our presence on the web.  The article below gives GREAT tips that are crucial for anyone who is considering self-employment or who is already there.  Let us know what YOU think.  Thanks Dave! -Nicole

With 2012 up and running, is one of your New Year’s resolutions to start your own business? If so, there is likely some fear in your voice.

Statistics show that between 1.5 and 2 million individuals say goodbye to their steady jobs monthly, be it to start a new business or care for family. With those goodbyes come anxiety, stress and fear for many people.

Among the fears can be walking away from a dependable paycheck, a shortage of money to get a business venture up and running, all the responsibilities and burdens that come with overseeing one’s company, and the possibility of it not working out and having no financial cushion to fall back on.

If you find yourself going back-and-forth on this matter, take these factors into consideration before you say yay or nay to fulfilling your lifelong dream of being your own boss:

• Steady paycheck or gamble? – The biggest question will come in the form of should you pass on the steady paycheck or not. While you may be unhappy in your present job, you have to consider whether or not you can get by without someone’s paycheck every two weeks. If you have some funds in reserve and they are not going towards your new business, then you may feel more comfortable in leaving your present corporate position;
• Manage both current and future positions – It is easier said than done, but the ideal situation is to maintain your full-time job while you are in the midst of starting up your business venture. This way you can still have a viable source of income coming in while getting your dream business off the ground. In the event you have a family, this of course becomes more of a chore as you will need their support. If you are on your own and have the extra time such as weekends to devote to your start-up business, then try and handle both jobs;
• The loan process – Unless you have been able to build up a nice cash reservoir or you have suddenly come into money, it is more likely that you will need some form of a loan to get the business venture up and running. If that is the case, make sure you have a well-crafted business plan together so that you can improve your chances for getting a loan. If getting a loan the conventional way is not likely, then check in with family and friends regarding their ability to invest in your business dreams;
• The online presence – Don’t put the cart before the horse and go into your business venture without a quality Web site. In today’s Internet-driven world, having a bona fide business Web site is crucial. Make sure your venture’s site is ready to go and will be of value to potential customers. Even in the event you need to make some tweaks here and there, have the site serviceable from day one. Without a solid business Web site, you are already starting out behind the eight ball;
• To have employees or not – As many small business owners can attest to, one of the first decisions they will need to confront is whether or not to bring on staff in their business ventures. In many cases, individuals will try and run the entire show on their own. In other instances, they may seek some part-time help, be it family/friends or outsiders. Either way, it is important to have a relatively accurate gauge on this matter so that you have funding put aside for salaries, health insurance, workers comp insurance etc. in the event you will be bringing on staff sooner rather than later;
• Setting your business goals – Lastly, you should be able to comprehend what your goals were/are with starting your own business. Is it to simply make money or is it to fulfill a dream? You can have both, but it is important to have a purpose in mind. Going into a business venture with blinders on can lead to a number of heartaches, so carefully craft your plans. This is why starting a business on the side while still gainfully employed under someone’s umbrella is oftentimes the best solution.

So, have you ventured off and started your own business?

If the answer is yes, what have been the biggest challenges and the greatest rewards to date?

If the answer is no, what are you waiting for?

It’s possible that no relationship has been more pivotal in my career growth than that which I’ve had with the directors I’ve worked for. And no position is more difficult than being their “right hand man.”

In both of my recent positions I was required to work very closely with my directors and superiors. This meant that in both my positions, not only did I need to be able to execute directions — but at times I felt like I needed to learn how to read minds, mediate, put out communication fires and successfully cover things up too.

Whether it was truly possible for me to fulfill this role didn’t matter. It was expected of me.

But I’ll be honest. Being pulled into a meeting to give an explanation for decisions I didn’t make, trying to keep consistent messages and communication between two directors and a team, and constantly working to push through someone else’s creative direction or oddities was no piece of cake.

Trust that the saying “Don’t shoot the messenger.” took on a whole new meaning for me.

I’m convinced that if you’re holding a position like this there are several best practices to follow and boundaries that must be set to stay mentally equipped and ahead of the curve.

So here are 6 key disciplines that I’m working towards mastering! They’ll help anyone who feels like they spend half their day perfecting their mind reading skills and the other half trying to relay those messages without getting taken down in a cubicle drive-by.

1. Master your director’s weakness.
When your director hires you to work beside them you immediately become their right hand man. First thing to learn — no matter what you were expecting to do on the job, your director sees you as one thing and one thing only — the solution to whatever problem they can’t solve themselves. I don’t care what the job descriptions said. This will always be the case.

In other words — it’s not your boss who will have to master his or her detail management issues or deadline deficiencies. You will.

2. Manage and discipline your director.
Failed projects, bad communication, missed deadlines and any other issues that arise during your partnership will quickly teach you that a busy director needs management.

This is a perfect follow-up to the first point about mastering your director’s weaknesses. Part of mastering them means not letting your boss drop any of his or her own balls because of those weaknesses.

For a busy director especially, it’s your responsibility to make sure that they prioritize, communicate, finalize and initiate as they should. Whatever their weakness is — if you don’t have the authority to manage the projects at hand yourself you must be sure that your director does.

In positions like this, you have to stay two steps ahead. You have to learn your director so well that you’re able to see where things will fall through and prevent them from happening by directing your boss or taking the initiative to make sure it gets done yourself.

3. Think — don’t regurgitate.
There is absolutely no room for regurgitation when you’re not only the shoulder your director stands on – but also the subsequent voice everyone listens to. You must understand everything. Despite what your director or anyone else tells you there will come a time when you alone will be forced to answer questions that you and your superior didn’t take the time to discuss. You will have to give potential or hypothetical plans that you and your director haven’t nailed down yet, or will be asked for an explanation of a decision you had no part in making in front of your entire team.

My agency manager would do this to me all the time. Seemingly in the dark herself half of the time, she would ask me for explanations of things that my director and I had never discussed, decisions that my boss had made without telling me why, or worse — decisions that my boss had made for reasons that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing.

I quickly learned that I had to protect myself by grilling my director to understand the “who, what, when, where and why” of absolutely everything I could.

Bottom line is, when you’re sitting at the conference table in a team meeting — if you can’t answer the questions then you’re the weak link. Always be prepared with your own insights, opinions, and interpretations to be sure you’re never caught with your jaw dropped and nothing to say.

4. Use the “he said, she said”
Don’t be afraid to justify your actions based on something you were told to do by a director. If something goes wrong, needs explanation or is confusing and your only direction to go by is information you got from someone else — including your boss — relay it.

I point this out because I realized I had a strange tendency to not want to justify things that I did by saying “my director told me to…”. But if you don’t do this your only other option is to fumble around looking for a rationalization. And fumbling makes you look worse than admitting you did it strictly out of direct orders.

5. Don’t take all the heat
Setting boundaries for accountability is a mental must! You have to learn what you are and aren’t accountable for. This is less about keeping your job as it is about remembering your self-worth and maintaining your self-confidence. I have no idea why, but in my last position I rarely spoke up for myself or against bad practice when I could have.

Knowing where you could and couldn’t have prevented things from happening, as well as how issues could have been avoided will be key to successfully moving forward in a position where at times you may feel like your sinking or swimming depends solely on pleasing a director’s interests.

And standing up for yourself when it’s easy to become the scapegoat is going to be key to keeping your job.

6. Remember your role
In the end, being a trustworthy support system is what’s going to convince your director to push you ahead.

No matter how good you get at what you’re doing, how anxious you get about an upcoming deadline, how much your team may come to respect you in the absence or as the representation of your director – never forget that you are a support system.

Continuously crossing the line in any way, overstepping authority or even unintentionally undermining a director’s decision shows a lack of humility and respect and may cause other superiors and yours to mistrust you. Do what you do well — and in time your own authority will begin to grow.

The best partnership can take time and effort to build.

For those of you whose positions require the mastery of these skills, know that they are seldom taught and often learned. For the most part only time, experience and perhaps even one or two heartbreaking terminations can perfect them (based off my experience). It took my being fired from my agency (and weeks of self-reflection, blame and forced appreciation) for me to even acknowledge how pivotal it is that I master them.

Why so much inner conflict? “All learning has an emotional base”, it has once been said. And it is that undercurrent that will make mastery both so rewarding and so painful at the same time.

Today’s guest post is by Rachel Esterline.

I’ve gone back and forth about whether or not to write about my job search. From the reason behind the decision to leave the agency world to the interview process itself, it’s been a roller coaster of a journey. However, I’ve received several direct messages and emails from other young professionals who are thinking of making a move from their current job. I hope that sharing my story can help those who are starting their job search journey right now.

Last January, I started to freak out think about where I saw my career heading. I’d always been very passionate about what I did, and I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. It’s hard to explain. Since my freshman year of college, I knew that I wanted to work at an agency. I’d focused my internships and professional development on this for several years. I’d even thought I wanted to start my own agency someday. It was very hard to accept that all I had worked towards no longer fit who I had become as a young professional.

I called a former professor and he asked me what I wanted to do. I said I was most interested in getting a job in the nonprofit sector or in higher education. It was that month that I officially began my job search, applying to nonprofits, educational institutions and even corporations. I didn’t apply to a single agency.

Here’s the part that I don’t want to admit, but will anyway: I applied for 21 different jobs between January and October. This resulted in 10 different companies conducting a total of five phone interviews and 10 in-person interviews (this includes first and second in-person interviews). I also turned down two in-person interviews – one because it didn’t sound like what I wanted after the phone interview and the other because the salary was too low.

It was exciting, frustrating and overwhelming. I had to complete assignments after a long day at work. I had to find a way to deal with the seemingly never-ending rejections from people who said I didn’t have enough experience for the position. I was thrilled every time someone called to schedule an interview and enjoyed the challenge of presenting myself just right for each opportunity.

On Monday, Nov. 14, I was offered a position at a nonprofit community foundation. I was ecstatic. Throughout the interview process, I could tell the job would be a fantastic fit. I was excited that I would get to “do it all” – from media relations to marketing to social media. One of my friends says that my face lights up whenever I talk about my job.

I never imagined my job search would take so long or that I would go through so many fruitless interviews. Between January and November, I was interviewed by two universities, a community college, a credit union, a national construction company, one of the “Big Three” automotive companies, a health insurance company, a software company and two nonprofits.

Here are five lessons I learned throughout the process:

1. Only apply for jobs you want, don’t be afraid to apply above your level of experience and only accept interviews if you’re still interested. I believe it’s disrespectful to waste other people’s time. You should only apply to places you actually want to work. Go ahead and apply even if you don’t have the years of experience they recommend in the job description if the experience you have could support you in that position. And, you should only take the interview if you’re still interested in the position.
2. Ask bold questions. I started to ask, “Is there anything about my experience that concerns you?” Then, when the “lack of experience” issue was mentioned, I could address it head on. Plus, it was nice to know why I probably wasn’t going to get the job (h/t to Nathan Burgess/@prcog for recommending that I start asking this). A few people stuttered. One company said, “We wouldn’t have brought you in if we had any concerns.” But, often enough, I was able to address legitimate concerns that the interviewer had about me.
3. Use your connections and references. I often leveraged connections at companies to get me in for an interview. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help. In terms of references , be sure to give people a heads up. I would always send a copy of my resume and cover letter to my references, along with the job description, so they wouldn’t be caught off guard.
4. Be yourself. By the time I interviewed with both the foundation and the software company, I wasn’t as affected by the pressure of interviewing. I’d started to go in with the “This is me. You either like me or you don’t.” type of attitude. A few times I said things in both interviews that were a bit too blunt. I winced when I thought of what I said, but then decided it was best that they see my true personality up front.
5. Help with the transition. Giving notice at the agency was nerve-wrecking. I knew it was a bad time to be leaving, but I also knew I had to do what was right for me. When I met with my bosses to tell them I was leaving in less than two weeks, I had a list of all my current jobs. I had noted which ones I could finish by the time I left, and who could take over the other jobs. I’d begun to keep a binder of every single project I worked on for my primary client, and prepped that to be passed on. I also wrote a job description and helped bring people in for interviews.

photo credit: @superamit

Answer me honestly – when is the last time you purposely celebrated a success in your life? 

Please say it wasn’t your High School graduation or your wedding!

I’m talking doing something great but often overlooked such as finishing a huge creative project, winning new business, achieving your goal weight or getting a new job.

Did you celebrate and take the time to give yourself a pat on the back or did you move on to the next thing without even taking a rest?

Worse still – did you beat yourself up that you could have done better?

A telling sign is that you find it difficult to take compliments. I once finished a HUGE client job (for the United Nations no less) under incredibly tight deadlines and long hours but took absolutely no pleasure in its completion. In fact, I never even looked at it again, just in case I found the spelling mistakes I was sure I had made.

I’m not alone. In fact, many women and clients I speak to have the same problem. A complete inability to celebrate ourselves and our achievements.

What’s the deal with that?

A Client Story

Amy from Dublin is an increasingly accomplished actor and playwright. She recently had a sell out one-woman show and she finished the first draft of her new play.

What did she do to celebrate? Nothing – she just went on to the next thing without a beat.

I asked her what she’d do to celebrate when she’s an award winning actress, living in different countries around the world and earning millions from acting.

She said she’d open a bottle of expensive champagne and go out with friends to a fancy restaurant.

I asked her what she could do now to really anchor that experience for the future, so she decided to open a bottle of sparkling wine and invite some friends over to celebrate. Her future self will thank her for sparking off this success ritual.

You see, if Amy doesn’t start celebrating her successes now, she may never take the time because she’ll always just move on to the next thing, no matter how big she gets.

 Why is it so important?

Congratulating yourself for a job well done cements those good feelings firmly into the present. Success breeds success and the more “proof” you have that you are successful, the easier it will be to attract further good fortune. 

Besides – it just feels good!

 Shoes!

My dear mother always reminds me that I shouldn’t give advice if I’m not willing to do myself, so we were out shopping and I got a message that I just got a new coaching client. We were looking at shoes and I decided to buy these brown strappy ones as a celebration reward. I think I’m going to make it a habit so I have my eyes on these other sparkly ones too.

Rewards of shoes or clothes are a great motivator, especially if you know the exact shoes you want. Go and pine over them in a shop, take a photo to put on your dream board and when you achieve what you set out to do – GO AND BUY THEM! Oh, and don’t forget to wear them often and congratulate yourself again and again.

How would you like to celebrate?

So shoes and champagne might not do it for you. You need to find a reward that will completely motivate you.

If money is tight and you can’t celebrate in quite the style you’re willing to become accustomed to, where can you start? Buy a bottle of cheap champagne and as your successes grow, so can the quality of the bubbly!

Here are some other great ideas:

• Celebrate afternoon tea at a fancy hotel
• Get new professional photos taken
• Visit a personal shopper for a makeover
• Go to the movies by yourself
• Enjoy a single beautifully iced cupcake
• Get a piece of your jewellery engraved with a beautiful affirmation
• Get a professional blow dry
• Buy some flowers for yourself
• Relax with a massage or a facial
• Hike to the top of a mountain and fist pump the air when you get there
• Get yourself some personalised stationery
• Buy a special new pen and a beautiful crisp notebook
• Have a pampering day at a spa
• Invite friends around for dinner to help you celebrate
• Wear your best underwear

….. lastly, put your hand on your heart and affirm “I’m on my way”.

Every time?

Yes, every time you achieve something fabulous, you should celebrate.

It’s very VERY important. You don’t have to go crazy every time. Afterall, if I bought a pair of expensive shoes every time I got a new client, I wouldn’t make much profit and I’d have a LOT of shoes. (Actually that doesn’t sound too bad!).

Decide in advance how much of your income, salary, bonus or client payment is going to be solely to be spent on yourself. I think 10% is a nice even sum. This money cannot be spent on mundane things like such underwear (unless it’s gorgeous), personal care products that you’d buy anyway or something for your children, partner or friends.

That money is dedicated to pleasure and celebration. 10% isn’t too much to spend on yourself is it?

Get excited every time you achieve something. Make a story out of your success and others will recognise you too. You deserve it.

What’s the last thing you celebrated? What did you do?

Having to be in the company of your co-workers at least five times a day, eight hours a week, it is inevitable for us women to grow close and develop an intimate friendship with some of the people that we work with day in and day out. That said, when a co-worker’s birthday comes around, you want to make it as special and meaningful as possible. What are some nice and unique holiday or birthday gift ideas for a co-worker?

First, tailor your gift based on how close you are to your co-worker. For instance, if you are particularly close and you have a knack for creating scrapbooks (alternatively you can pick one up at the store), go the extra mile for your co-worker and make a scrapbook using colours and cut outs that you know he or she would love. Scour your hard drive for photos of memorable events that you, the birthday celebrant and your other colleagues have been present at and stick each one on a separate page with a caption and a note. Be sure to ask people in the office to write a special birthday dedication for your co-worker. This personalized birthday gift is sure to be treasured by your co-worker for years to come.

If your co-worker has more of a practical, type-A personality, he or she would probably appreciate a useful gift such as an office plant or a paperweight. While these aren’t exactly unique gifts, you can still make them ‘unique’ for your co-worker in the sense that the style or appearance suits his or her personality. For instance, you can pick up a plant that is attractive and alluring and give your co-worker a card stating that the reason you chose that plant was because just as the plant is nice to be around, so is he or she. As for the paperweight, you can make this gift equally special by attaching a note expressing your heartfelt birthday greeting to your co-worker.

Some other practical gift ideas include gift certificates to the spa or discount cards at your favourite place to have lunch together. Tell your co-worker he or she deserves to be pampered after a hard day at work by presenting him or her with a gift certificate to the spa for a relaxing body or foot massage. You can also surprise him or her by footing the bill for lunch or a snack next time you grab a meal together. Sometimes the smallest gestures speak the loudest. If you are especially close to your co-worker and want to give him or a gift that will truly make an impression (e.g. something pricey that he or she has mentioned wanting to have), let your other co-workers in on your plan and you can start a joint fund wherein each person can contribute a specific amount which will total the sum that you need to buy the item that your co-worker wants. This is sure to warrant a priceless smile on your co-worker’s face.

Another unique gift for a co-worker’s birthday is making a video of all of your other officemates giving a short message. This is sure to make your co-worker feel loved and cherished in ways that money cannot buy. The truth of the matter is it doesn’t really matter what you gift him or her with so long as the gesture comes from your heart. Just remember that good or great co-workers aren’t that easy to find. That said every effort on your end should be made to show your appreciation to the ones that you can also call friends.

What are you getting your co-workers this holiday season?  

What birthday gifts have you bought your co-workers in the past?

What are holiday/birthday gifts should you NOT buy your co-workers?

I work for a small company that is only able to offer part-time hours to most of its employees. A couple weeks ago, just as cold and flu season was starting to set in and people were beginning to use their sick days, I had several additional employees with life issues. One employee was struggling to get to work. She and her boyfriend share a car and it had been in the shop for a week. Her mom had been driving her 20 minutes to the train so she could commute over an hour more.  She didn’t feel she was being supported at home to get to her job. She turned to me as her support away from home.

Another employee’s father was in the hospital. Not only that, there was a good chance his father’s cancer had returned AND his aunt had forced herself into a decision making role and was making choices this employee and his sister did not agree with. Amidst all this, his aunt/godmother passed away suddenly. He called me. “I need a day off.” “Ok, take the time you need,” I said, meaning it but knowing the stress of having fewer employees show up for their shifts.

A third employee’s girlfriend is pregnant. I’d asked him how things were going with the baby and he replied, “not good.” Knowing he’s not a talker, I simply asked him to let me know if I could be helpful in any way, even though I knew that would most likely take him out of work for a day here or there.

So, why give all these people leeway? Why give them space to call in? To not be at work? Because – and you all know it! – LIFE HAPPENS.

One thing I have learned in management is the importance of empathy. I know, it’s a big word. But, it’s important. It is particularly important as an employer to understand that life has its unexpected ups and down and to be aware that the people who work for you have more going on than just work.

And don’t just care about the big things. The smaller things, the life occurrences that come up, are important to pay attention to as well. Did someone get offered last minute tickets to see their favourite sports team? Does someone want to leave work early because they’ve got a lot of homework to finish? Take a look at this person’s track record. Have they missed a lot of work or do they show up? Do they ask for a lot of patterned time off or are they conscientious about their vacations? If they work hard and do well and are a valuable member of your team, ask yourself, “What can I do today to make sure this person is happy at work because I helped make another part of their life run smoother?”

Yes, you need to make the distinction between when an employee needs a little time and when this person becomes a liability to the functionality of the company, but it is by showing compassion to your employees and not just caring about the job they are doing that you are able to develop a dedicated and productive team.

Managers: how do you feel about allowing your staff to take time off for emergencies, life issues or even just because they’re doing a good job?  

Employees: is your manager compassionate about what you have going on in your life?  How does this effect your dedication to your manager or the company you work for?