My favorite dating book of all time is called “Why Men Love Bitches.”  Girls, you need to get this book.  Guys, pretend you didn’t read that first sentence.  I don’t want you to know all of our secrets.

The subtitle of this book is called “From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.”  The word bitch is not a bad word in the eyes of author Sherry Argov.  Bitch stands for “Babe In Total Control of Herself.” Sherry argues that doing what you want to do, living your own life and avoiding traditionally female emotional drama is the best way to win a man’s heart for the long haul.

This book just so happens to be my dating Bible.  Yet since my boyfriend is working from the Chicago office for the first time in 6 months (he usually works in L.A. during the week) I’ve been a little too excited.  My house is clean, his dry cleaning is done, the fridge is stocked, dinner is cooked, etc.

Then yesterday he dropped a bomb on me: he said I was being too nice and that it was a bit much.

WHAT?! The poster child for “Why Men Love Bitches” is being too nice?!  I’ve never heard such a thing from anyone I’ve ever dated.  In fact, quite the contrary.  Usually people tell me to BE NICE!

I’ve seen and heard variations of this story happening to people at work. The difference is that at work, you probably won’t receive the direct feedback of someone telling you you are being too nice.

Yesterday’s events served as a great reminder not to be too nice.  Being too nice can be detrimental to your career and how your co-workers see you. In order to get promoted, you need to be seen as unshakable: focused, clear minded, fact based.  You need to command respect.

Here’s how you can apply the rules of dating to your job

• Be in total control of yourself.  Don’t let your anger or emotions get the best of you.
• Don’t say yes to everything.
• Don’t immediately say “sorry.”  Only use that word when you need too.
• Don’t feed into your boss’s bad moods.  Instead give him or her space and stick to the facts when communicating.
• Don’t say anything about “having a talk.”
• Don’t start conversations with “I feel.” Instead, start with facts.
• Don’t let them assume you will always be there.
• Take the time off that is given to you.
• Set boundaries and stick to them.
• Don’t do everything for your co-workers. You will start to be seen as a gopher instead of a smart and talented employee.

What other rules of dating do you think can be applied to your job?

Do you think Sherry Argov’s dating advice is too harsh?

Why does every guy I know love Family Guy?

You may have noticed that I have something exciting cooking.

I’m writing a pretty cool job search guide for college seniors and recent graduates. 

It all started because of your emails and tweets.

• Many of you share the same fears. 
• Many of you make the same mistakes when it comes to executing your job search.  These mistakes are driven by your fears. 
• I’ve also identified the #1 problem among entry-level job seekers and will show you how to overcome it.

No need to shoot yourself in the foot any longer.

You’ve spent way too much money and time on your degree to waste it sitting on the couch.  The economy is not friendly to mediocre candidates, mediocre resumes, or mediocre personal brands.  Therefore, you need to rise above the rest.  Your archaic career services office probably isn’t going to help you do that.

I’m providing a lot of info that has never been seen here on the blog.   You’ll see real strategies that work. You’ll get real templates.  I’m even including real emails that you guys have sent me.  Not all of my feedback is positive. 

Most importantly, I promise not to waste your time with a bunch of fluffy bullshit. 

You’ll also get to learn a little bit more about my story- stuff I wouldn’t share here on the blog.

here’s how you can be part of the movement:

• If you think your resume is at rock star status, email it to me. 
• If you think your resume sucks, email it to me. 
• Be prepared for me to rip it apart in the name of serious improvement.
• If you have questions you want answered in this guide, email them to me.
• If you have a job search story to tell, tell it.
• I’ll be handpicking only the BEST examples to be part of the book- real name optional.
• Hopefully you know my email address by now: nicole@mscareergirl.com

Job Search Boot Camp will be out in April.  Until then, stay tuned for lots of previews, a few giveaways and some great case studies!

The “Well, shit…I lost my job, it sucks, but it sort of feels OK” post This is one of my favorite posts written by Matt Cheuvront.  Maybe it’s because I happened to be emailing with him intensely about his career the day before he was let go.  When he told me the next afternoon that he was let go, it creeped me out.  It was creepy because I had been encouraging him (maybe even pushing him a bit too hard) to consider going freelance.  He is good at what he does and I felt his talents were better served working for himself.  He was nervous about this transition at first, but only a month or so later, we both know that being let go was a huge blessing in disguise.  Long story short, every thing happens for a reason.  When it comes to your career try to see the glass half full and roll with the punches.

3 Lessons Learned from 3 Years of Marriage. Although I’m not married, I think this post sums up long-term relationships really well.  What ingredients do you think are crucial to a happy marriage long-term relationship? What will prevent a good relationship from lasting?

Staying Busy Keeping You Down? 4 Tips to Reclaim Your Day. We’ve all had those days.  The days that fly by yet we feel like we got nothing done. I hate those kinds of days and I’m much crabbier about my job when I have them.  What are your biggest “time sucks”? Social media sites? Reading and commenting on blogs? The administrative tasks required of your business or job?  I hope this post will help  you have a productive week!

Does Your Past Impact Your Job? Is it fair for employers to throw your application out just because you have bad credit?  Some think this is ridiculous, yet it’s perfectly legal and common. In a time of economic turmoil, should this practice be banned?  What do you think?

9 Important Job Hunting Tips for Facebook Users Just a refresher course on Facebook and job searching with a twist.

• 1 cup of patience
• 5 cups of optimism
• 3 cups of unconditional love
• Sprinkled with a passion for your career

I spent the first two days of this week at the strangest funeral I’ve ever been to. 

Everyone was smiling, laughing, telling hilarious stories, eating great food, and embracing distant friends as if they were family.  I’m not even going to call it a funeral because it wasn’t.   It was a huge celebration of an amazing man’s life. 

This man is my boyfriend’s grandfather.  He lived until 92. He was married for 64 years to a woman he was madly in love with until the end.  He had 8 children, 34 grandchildren and 31 great-grandchildren.  He was larger than life. He had a great (and sometimes crass) sense of humor and he LOVED his career in sales.  I mean it when I say that he positively influenced everyone who came into his life.

I came back to work on Wednesday after two full days of being with this huge and wonderful family.  I was more rejuvenated from these two days than I have ever been in my life. 

I want to continue the flow of positive energy by sharing a few of the reminders I got from attending this celebration.  These are very basic concepts but in the thick of life, it’s good to be reminded of them.

• Life is a lot simpler than we make it. Unconditional love and a positive attitude are the foundation of a good life.
• I know for a fact that living your life with a career you love is the best way to live it.  It sets the back drop for the rest of your life and brings happiness to you each day.  I loved hearing all the positive stories from people who had worked with ”grandpops” over the years, sharing his zest for sales.
• If you love your career, it positively influences everything you do.  Hopefully you’ll also be good at it and so you can amply provide for your family. How else would this man be able to raise 8 kids and always have a smile on his face?!
• Family is a person’s greatest asset.  Family provides endless returns of personal “wealth.”  It means nothing if your family doesn’t love you.
• Accepting and embracing other people wholly without judgement is so much more fulfilling than not.  Care about the people you meet.  Get to know them.
• No hurdle is as big as you make it. 

The two days I experienced cannot be duplicated in a blog post.  You’d have to be there to believe and feel the amount of positive energy in every room. It was electric. Let’s keep it going.

• How do you want to be remembered?
• How has the loss of an important person changed your life?
• Do you think career happiness leads to happiness in other areas of your life? 

At the end of my summer internship two years ago, my boss offered a single piece of advice for the remainder of my college career: take an awesome senior-year spring break. Why? He said that once I graduated into the “career world” it would become nearly impossible to ever find one week during which all of my friends and I would be free to go anywhere and have fun.

I’m disappointed to report that I’ve let my former boss down. Instead of relaxing in sunny Florida, I’ll be spending my spring break in snowy Ohio, working hard to land an entry-level career. The frustrating part is, I already spent a big chunk of my spring break savings back in January traveling for an out-of-town job interview and now I feel like the responsible thing to do is save the rest for future non-reimbursable interviews.

There’s something else about spring break that just doesn’t feel right given today’s employment environment. Senior year spring break is supposed to be a celebration.. a last chance to commemorate the days before our careers become the focus of our lives. But right now many of us don’t have careers, or upcoming-careers; some don’t even have career-prospects. In two and a half months many seniors will graduate into unemployment and move back in with mom and dad.

On the other hand, maybe spring break can be a chance for seniors to cheer themselves up from the bleakness of the employment environment. Maybe some, if they play their cards right, will turn vacation into a networking opportunity.

If you’re a senior, did the employment environment alter your spring break plans this year?