My favorite dating book of all time is called “Why Men Love Bitches.”  Girls, you need to get this book.  Guys, pretend you didn’t read that first sentence.  I don’t want you to know all of our secrets.

The subtitle of this book is called “From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.”  The word bitch is not a bad word in the eyes of author Sherry Argov.  Bitch stands for “Babe In Total Control of Herself.” Sherry argues that doing what you want to do, living your own life and avoiding traditionally female emotional drama is the best way to win a man’s heart for the long haul.

This book just so happens to be my dating Bible.  Yet since my boyfriend is working from the Chicago office for the first time in 6 months (he usually works in L.A. during the week) I’ve been a little too excited.  My house is clean, his dry cleaning is done, the fridge is stocked, dinner is cooked, etc.

Then yesterday he dropped a bomb on me: he said I was being too nice and that it was a bit much.

WHAT?! The poster child for “Why Men Love Bitches” is being too nice?!  I’ve never heard such a thing from anyone I’ve ever dated.  In fact, quite the contrary.  Usually people tell me to BE NICE!

I’ve seen and heard variations of this story happening to people at work. The difference is that at work, you probably won’t receive the direct feedback of someone telling you you are being too nice.

Yesterday’s events served as a great reminder not to be too nice.  Being too nice can be detrimental to your career and how your co-workers see you. In order to get promoted, you need to be seen as unshakable: focused, clear minded, fact based.  You need to command respect.

Here’s how you can apply the rules of dating to your job

• Be in total control of yourself.  Don’t let your anger or emotions get the best of you.
• Don’t say yes to everything.
• Don’t immediately say “sorry.”  Only use that word when you need too.
• Don’t feed into your boss’s bad moods.  Instead give him or her space and stick to the facts when communicating.
• Don’t say anything about “having a talk.”
• Don’t start conversations with “I feel.” Instead, start with facts.
• Don’t let them assume you will always be there.
• Take the time off that is given to you.
• Set boundaries and stick to them.
• Don’t do everything for your co-workers. You will start to be seen as a gopher instead of a smart and talented employee.

What other rules of dating do you think can be applied to your job?

Do you think Sherry Argov’s dating advice is too harsh?

Why does every guy I know love Family Guy?

You may have noticed that I have something exciting cooking.

I’m writing a pretty cool job search guide for college seniors and recent graduates. 

It all started because of your emails and tweets.

• Many of you share the same fears. 
• Many of you make the same mistakes when it comes to executing your job search.  These mistakes are driven by your fears. 
• I’ve also identified the #1 problem among entry-level job seekers and will show you how to overcome it.

No need to shoot yourself in the foot any longer.

You’ve spent way too much money and time on your degree to waste it sitting on the couch.  The economy is not friendly to mediocre candidates, mediocre resumes, or mediocre personal brands.  Therefore, you need to rise above the rest.  Your archaic career services office probably isn’t going to help you do that.

I’m providing a lot of info that has never been seen here on the blog.   You’ll see real strategies that work. You’ll get real templates.  I’m even including real emails that you guys have sent me.  Not all of my feedback is positive. 

Most importantly, I promise not to waste your time with a bunch of fluffy bullshit. 

You’ll also get to learn a little bit more about my story- stuff I wouldn’t share here on the blog.

here’s how you can be part of the movement:

• If you think your resume is at rock star status, email it to me. 
• If you think your resume sucks, email it to me. 
• Be prepared for me to rip it apart in the name of serious improvement.
• If you have questions you want answered in this guide, email them to me.
• If you have a job search story to tell, tell it.
• I’ll be handpicking only the BEST examples to be part of the book- real name optional.
• Hopefully you know my email address by now: nicole@mscareergirl.com

Job Search Boot Camp will be out in April.  Until then, stay tuned for lots of previews, a few giveaways and some great case studies!

At the end of my summer internship two years ago, my boss offered a single piece of advice for the remainder of my college career: take an awesome senior-year spring break. Why? He said that once I graduated into the “career world” it would become nearly impossible to ever find one week during which all of my friends and I would be free to go anywhere and have fun.

I’m disappointed to report that I’ve let my former boss down. Instead of relaxing in sunny Florida, I’ll be spending my spring break in snowy Ohio, working hard to land an entry-level career. The frustrating part is, I already spent a big chunk of my spring break savings back in January traveling for an out-of-town job interview and now I feel like the responsible thing to do is save the rest for future non-reimbursable interviews.

There’s something else about spring break that just doesn’t feel right given today’s employment environment. Senior year spring break is supposed to be a celebration.. a last chance to commemorate the days before our careers become the focus of our lives. But right now many of us don’t have careers, or upcoming-careers; some don’t even have career-prospects. In two and a half months many seniors will graduate into unemployment and move back in with mom and dad.

On the other hand, maybe spring break can be a chance for seniors to cheer themselves up from the bleakness of the employment environment. Maybe some, if they play their cards right, will turn vacation into a networking opportunity.

If you’re a senior, did the employment environment alter your spring break plans this year?

• Five Big Mistakes that Job Seekers Make
• 6 Signs that you are too attached to success
• Stop Acting Rich
• What is Foursquare?
• Why You Should Love Google Buzz.

Today’s Senior Series post was written Rob Pitingolo, one of the 5 amazing college seniors picked to be mentored and prepped by me for their first job and life after college.

Around this time last year, my peers often reminded me how lucky I was not to be graduating into a harsh employment environment with them. The unemployment rate was about 7.7% at the time. Now, it stands at 9.7%. Maybe I wasn’t so lucky after all? It doesn’t help that I’m a college senior in a city and state where the employment market is even bleaker than the national numbers suggest.

I’ve read my share of “tips” for college seniors looking for an entry-level career. One piece of advice that seems to make every list is: “be willing to relocate”. This certainly isn’t a problem for me. My career search is focused in a few specific cities, but I’m willing to give any city a shot if the right opportunity presents itself.

Willingness alone might not be enough, as I’ve discovered. I was thrilled when I was recently called to interview with an organization I greatly admire for a position that seemed like it would be a great mutual fit. Unfortunately, the interview was 350 miles away, and my heart sunk when I learned that the organization doesn’t reimburse for travel expenses.

It was a dilemma. I would have to spend about $200 to attend the interview. Nicole has written some outstanding posts here at Ms. Career Girl about budgeting and being financially responsible. I like to think I’m financially prudent; but the interview would be an expenditure I hadn’t budgeted for, so I needed to seriously weigh the likelihood of receiving an offer against the cost of travel. With encouragement from friends and colleagues, I booked a flight.

I never go into an interview unprepared; but given the circumstances, I wanted to guarantee I did everything right for this one. I composed a writing sample specifically for the interview to highlight the exact skills the organization was looking for. I practiced answering mock interview questions that I expected to hear. I prepared to relate my work and school experience to the projects I would probably be working on.

The day of the interview I skipped all of my classes and traveled the 700 round-trip miles. I left the interview feeling good, albeit exhausted. I hadn’t been stumped by any of the questions. I felt calm and confident. I had no reason to think I’d blown my chance for the position.

They hired someone else.

In the job hunt, it’s certainly true that you need to “spend money to make money”. I don’t know of any professionals who wouldn’t advise a college senior to go into an interview with a good suit, for example. But a good suit is an investment. Once you own a suit, and you take care of it, it becomes a valuable piece of your identity as a professional. If you ever decide to take on the life of a nomad and wander the globe, you can always give it to someone else in need.

Travel is different. It’s expensive and it’s a one-time deal. If you travel for an interview but don’t receive an offer, you really can’t recover what you spent.

The experience concerns me as an out-of-town applicant because many of the entry-level opportunities I’ve found intriguing are in another part of the country. Between a market flooded with young talent and many firms cautious about hiring, let alone spending on entry-level recruiting, I fear it could put out-of-town applicants at a disadvantage. Here’s hoping that I’m wrong, and my experience is the exception rather than the norm. Whatever the case, it’s a lesson I hope my fellow college seniors can take something from.