By, Ashley Crimaldi

A few days ago I decided to deter my morning schedule and catch up on a little Oprah. Typically, I’m a non-believer in shows like Oprah. I tend to approach them with a highly cynical and skeptical attitude. These shows are just for bored housewives, right?

Somehow this episode caught my attention. It featured Dr. Oz speaking about inner/outer beauty, and tips on how to better care for your self. Being the beauty junky I am, I soon found myself scribbling notes on a scrap piece of paper- what to look for in a face moisturizer, why exfoliating is so important, what to eat to keep from aging. . . and the list goes on.

Then they got to the part about cellulite- pen in hand, I was ready to get some notes on THIS section!

Ready, Set . . .

NO CURE!? What? No cure? Seriously, Dr. Oz you have to be kidding right? If there is no cure, then why does every brand of lotion come in a firming variety these days, and why are there tons of anti-cellulite creams on the market? Dr. Oz goes on to tell us that even liposuction wouldn’t cure cellulite. So what do we do? He says, accept it and move on. Ok, duh Dr. Oz thanks for the life changing advice, that’s what I’ve been doing MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Like most women, I’ve had stretch marks for years, loads of cellulite on my ass and I have no doubt that I’ll develop under eye bags with age. While I thought Dr. Oz was a magical beauty wizard that was going to behold all the anti-aging secrets, he simply re- affirmed everything I already knew: Having the perfect thighs doesn’t define success, happiness or being a sexy woman at all.

There I was so consumed by the show, and devastated by all my anti-aging short comings (ok let’s be honest, I don’t work out enough or eat nearly enough blueberries) that I was ready to run to CVS and purchase some serious anti-aging skin care products. Then I realized how ridiculous I was acting- I’m 21 years old, why am I already obsessing over anti-aging secrets, watching this consumer driven garbage instead of being on time for work?

But yes ladies, we should take care of ourselves. We should eat as healthy as possible and work out when we have time – but above all else, we should focus on our own personal happiness. Would having less cellulite really make us feel more fulfilled? Or is that just what we’re told by our capitalist society? What if we lived in a society where cellulite was sign of good health? Sounds crazy right? But believe me- I’m not that far off. The truth is, 90% of the time, I feel really confident about my appearance and my size. Its only when I’m told these things are important that I start to doubt myself.

So surround yourself with some self-confident women! Give a female co-worker a compliment on her personality, and slather on some cheap non-firming body lotion on today, because anything else is just not worth it!

It’s official: Iowa is the first state to break the Midwest’s stereotypically old-fashioned and conservative views!  Iowa has approved gay marriage!  Check out the New York Time’s article for details here.

I’m wondering if Iowa’s approval of gay marriage will start a trend among other typically conservative states.  

I also wonder how gay marriage will affect employee benefits.  Is this a whole new animal for companies or have companies anticipated the change and made adjustments to their benefits plans? 

Do you think that gay marriage will lead to more acceptance in the work place amoung Iowan’s now that it is official and legal, or do you think those who are openly married will face more scrutiny and perhaps challenges among their co-workers?

By, Ashley Crimaldi
Written in 2008

My little sister is fourteen years old, and she is beautiful. She has perfect straight white teeth, a toned tan body, perfect complexion and mysterious green eyes. She also has a great personality, a free spirit and a fun sense of humor. Sometimes I wonder if people notice those things first about her, or if they are merely transfixed by her beautiful persona. If I were to guess, I’d probably say the latter. Unfortunately, I can’t help to admit, it can’t hurt to be beautiful in a world dominated by sex appeal and consumerism.

But let’s face it; her perfect white teeth and bronzed skin didn’t come without a cost. She is a 14 year-old girl who somehow finds money to tan despite the increased risk of skin cancer. Due to the heightened popularity of tan skin, my little sister wears power foundation much darker than her natural skin tone and then tops it off with puffs of bronzer with little specs of glitter in it. The result: a “bronzed beauty” that resembles so many models in advertisements today. But there is something plastic about the standards of beauty we’ve come to accept today. Whatever happened to rosy cheeks? The ironic thing is, the beauty industry is telling us to want what we don’t have naturally. Black women are shown with fair skin and often foundations are difficult to find in dark enough shades. White women are told that they should have a “bronze glow” or go tanning to hide natural pink pigmentations and blemishes in the skin.

I can’t complain about my sister too much, because I’m a cosmetics queen. I love dabbling in the art of makeup each morning. It brightens my day to know I have some great cosmetics waiting for me to play with when I wake up in the morning. But then are those days when I simply don’t feel like it; and then what? People have to see what I really look like? My teenage sister, and myself for that mater, have fallen victim to idealized standards of female beauty, and this idea is nothing new.

Joan Brumberg quotes numerous girls throughout history who have been dissatisfied with their bodies in her book The Body Project. Brumberg quotes Carol Merano a 16- year old girl from the 1960’s, “I’m too ugly. I’m too fat. I have a crummy personality.” This is the sort of negative self-talk we hear as women every day. Whether it exists within the confines of our minds or the mouths of our friends, women are constantly dissatisfied with themselves. Is it within out nature? Or is this merely a product of our culture? Sharlene Hesse-Biber points out in her book The Cult of Thinness that, “The stakes of physical attractiveness for women are high, since appearance, including body weight, affects social success.”

Even this is true in my little sister’s case. When she was in elementary school she wasn’t involved in any sports or extra curricular activities, and when she would come home from school she would plop down in front of the television and snack. She started gaining weight, and didn’t have many friends. My mother encouraged her to join the soccer team. With newfound physical activity she was able to make new friends and slim down at the same time. The truth is, the world is a lot less cruel to a beautiful woman. Luckily she changed her fate early on.

Recently, I met up with my little sister while she was at a soccer tournament in St.Louis. Having not seen her in three months, I was very excited to see her. When I noticed some changes that had occurred in her body over the past few months, I made a comment about her body becoming more “womanly.” By that I meant curvaceous, which in my book is a compliment. Instantly, she started accusing me of calling her fat. Of course that was not what I had intended. It was sad to me that the word “womanly” had such a negative connotation for her. As if it was a nice way for me to say fat. For the rest of the night she seemed upset, and refused to order a meal at dinner.

Dieting is something that has become widely accepted. Even parents have started to accept dieting as a reality for their daughters. It is encouraged so that their children will be perceived as more attractive, and a positive reflection of themselves. Small gestures and comments from parents shape female perceptions of thinness for the rest of their lives. Girls today are expected to be perfect. They should have the perfect bodies and smiles, and they are willing to do anything to get it.

We are the most educated generation in history, with over 60% of us enrolling in college and record numbers of us pursuing graduate degrees. We grew up in the most diverse classrooms in our nation’s history. 40% of us were Hispanic, Black, or Asian. But even if Koombiyah sounds like an appropriate theme song for our generation, are we ready to lead the world from recession to sustainable growth as we approach the next decade of the twenty-first century?

Yes and no. But mainly yes! As a member of this rising generation and a leadership development professional, I concur with Greenberg and Weber that I’m a part of a pretty awesome group. We are poised to ensure that our collective desire for change translates into results-oriented action.

While many of us millennials still need more hands on experience, relationship building, and skill development to fully realize our potential, many of us bring to our campuses, careers, and communities a nice toolbox of leadership qualities, skills, and values including articulating compelling visions, keen collaboration and negotiation skills, and a deep respect for balance, authenticity, and transparency. We might have hated our constant immersion in group projects and real-world simulations, but they taught us a lot about how to thrive in a team-oriented culture.

Some of the strongest millennial leaders are young women. We still make $.79 to a man’s dollar, compose just over 16% of Congressional members, and have a 1 in 4 chance of encountering domestic violence. But as evidenced by last Wednesday’s Women of Courage gathering which included powerhouse women from First Lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton to Malyasian lawyer Ambiga Sreenevasan and Iraqi NGO leader Suaad Allami, international women have been rising to senior leadership positions in record numbers for some time.

Millennial women, like Women of Courage honoree 12-year old Reem al-Numery of Yemen (who could not attend the celebration for she is in court fighting her arranged marriage to her 30-year old cousin), are not only growing into strong and effective leaders, but are demanding that their voices be heard and counted today.

Millennials have often been critiqued for expecting too much too fast without putting in their dues like their Gen-X, Baby Boomer and traditionalist predecessors. However, this sense of entitlement has undoubtedly been useful to young women who believe it is both their responsibility and their right to start businesses, organize fundraisers, and bring communities together to address economic, social, and environmental inequity.

We were told that we could be the best if only we worked hard enough. While I’d argue we’d have been better served if our parents, teachers, and mentors had substituted hard for smart, our constant affirmations have definitely empowered us not only to think without the box, but also to believe we can make a positive contribution to our companies and communities.

In her book, Your Child’s Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them author, educator, and strengths-based leadership expert Jenifer Fox recommends that if educators, parents, employers, and other people who interface with young leaders want to empower them to peak performance, they should start with their strengths, the specific abilities that we enjoy doing and make us feel strong.

No matter how important we or someone else might tell us it is to overcome our weaknesses, strengths-based researchers from the fields of education, psychology, business, and leadership have proven that humans consistently grow the most in the area of our strengths and should be given every opportunity to play to them. American businesses currently waste a lot of talent and employee satisfaction, creating opportunities for only 12% of workers to play to their strengths most of the time, according to The Marcus Buckingham Company.

For young women looking to become more effective leaders, awaken to their authentic leadership style, and discover how to use their gifts and resources to make the maximum possible positive social impact, they can start by answering the following questions:

What is the leadership quality that my peers, parents, teachers, and/or supervisors most recognize in me? What opportunities exist and can I create to use this strength on a regular basis?

What is my preferred communication format? (e.g. face-to-face/one-on-one, small group, or in front of a large audience) How do I make sure to employ this format in my leadership so that I feel comfortable and can perform at my best?

What activities/tasks and causes/issues am I most passionate about? How can I consistently align “what I like to do” with “what matters to me”?

What are my leadership areas for growth and improvement? Who can I partner with that is strong in these areas?

What are the short and long term social, economic, and environmental impacts of the choices I make on my local, national, and international community? How can I ensure that the choices I make are always for the greater good?

Did you know that women could not obtain a mortgage without a male cosigner as recently as the 1970’s, even if they were head of their household? Neither did I.

Like most bank employees, I am required to complete monthly compliance training on different topics. The training I completed yesterday was on Fair Lending. I had NO idea that women were so discriminated against when it came to personal finance as recently as 30 years ago.

Take a look at a few of the facts I learned:

The Fair Lending laws were enacted to address a history of discrimination and preferential treatment in lending and the extension of credit. Here are some examples of discriminatory practices:

* In the 1970s, female heads of household could not obtain a mortgage without a male cosigner.
* In the 1970s, married women could not obtain credit in their own names.
* Throughout the 1970s, revolving credit accounts were automatically revoked when customers reached the age of 65.
These facts shocked me. Yet they also explained to me why so many women are/were groomed to believe that they would never need to be in charge of their own finances because a man would handle it for them. When banking law mandated that women could not obtain credit without a man, I guess women of past generations had to succumb to getting married or depending on their father if they ever wanted to buy a home. Is it these types of ridiculous and sexist laws that are partially responsible for the high level of divorce? (Did women assume financial freedom=marriage, even if it wasn’t ideal?) Is it these types of laws that bred generations of women who are financially illiterate?

Female financial literacy is a HUGE value of mine. I believe it leads to better relationships, more personal confidence and hapiness in women’s lives. Ladies: stop waiting for Prince Charming. If you are lucky enough to find one, remember that at any moment things could change and he is not responsible for thinking for you when it comes to YOUR money.

Ironically, I just started reading “Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money” by Barbara Stanny, and I can barely put it down. I’ve always wondered what it is about personal finance that scares so many women away. Trust me, if you know about Christian Louboutins, the latest True Religion jeans, and the today’s gossip on Angelina Jolie, you are more than equipped to learn about credit scores, managing your debt and buying a home.

Please don’t squander away the rights that the women before us have worked for. Don’t take it for granted that you can be financially independent, buy your own home and get a credit card without a man. Think for yourself and get in control of your finances so you can pick your own Prince Charming for who he is rather than for how he can take care of your finances.