Ever think of starting your own business? Are you too afraid that you won’t be able to do it? Worried about the cost of a start-up or about your ability to run a company?

These are things all entrepreneurs think about.  Fear is a powerful tool, but not a good one.  It’s a setback and it should be thrown out the window along with self-doubt. 

Having a thought or an idea is just the beginning of starting a business.  Actually, that’s probably the easiest part!  It’s true when they say success doesn’t happen overnight and determination plays a key role in becoming an entrepreneur.  The negativity that will surround you is inevitable, but it’s up to you to take that negative energy and either ignore it or let it affect you.  I chose to ignore it. 

When I started Relax Missy, I was just out of college and landed my first full time job with benefits.  I started saving as much money as I could out of my paychecks and placed it aside for my company.  I didn’t have a trust fund or rich parents, I used my own hard earned cash to fund my way out of the 9 to 5.  Everyone that says you need 50k and up to start a home based business is lying (or they got ripped off). 

There are many, ways to save money, and one of them is doing the legwork yourself.  Take advantage of free attorneys from colleges.  Use your home as storage.  I actually think starting a business without much money is better than starting up with lots of cash.  Being broke allows you to hustle to find a way to make it work and exhaust all options that other people would never know existed.

Self-doubt and fear haunt everyone.  It’s probably the main reason why most people don’t take the leap to entrepreneurship.  Let me tell you, I had no idea what I was doing when I started, and I still don’t!  I’m learning as I go along and hiring college interns who have the energy and motivation to work with me.  As your business grows, you can slowly start to expand with an office or warehouse and even a CEO if you think you’re not the best CEO for your company. 

Starting your own business is a learning process and will always be one.  Even companies that have been around for years are creating their own unique ways to advance; for example, Apple. Until now, Apple had never built an iPad before.  I’m sure there were some roadblocks along the way, but now that they’ve gotten through it they can improve their product and processes.

The saying “just do it” may be cliché, but it’s so true.  If you have a great idea and want to act upon it, then you will figure out a way to make that happen.  Research and business forums are great ways to start.  From there you will be surprised as to how quickly knowledge starts to pour in. 

Working independently, away from the “9 to 5″, is what fuels me to keep growing my business. 

What motivates YOU to start your own business and work for yourself?

It’s clear that I’m one of the many Gen Y women who want it all: a great career, financial independence and, eventually, few adorable munchkins of my own.

If you read my post about my love hate relationship with anxiety, you understand that I’m wired a bit differently than most.

My #1 goal for 2010 was to make Dave Ramsey proud and pay off my credit card debt. I’m down to my last card-yee haw!- but I will fully admit I’d be a lot farther along if I didn’t keep using the phrase “I want.”

I noticed it yesterday while getting off the El after work. I live in an artsy and eclectic neighborhood full of trendy boutiques and unique people. I looked at all the women walking around me and kept thinking things like, “oo I want those sandals,” “I want that dress!,” “I want to go into that store for a new (whatever)” or “I want that haircut this weekend!” I walked a little further and as I passed a slew of establishments I caught myself thinking, “I want 2 more kitchen chairs from that furniture store” and “I want to try that restaurant and that bar this weekend.”

I can tell you one thing for sure: saying “I want” all the time is no way to pay down debt and build a savings account.

3 reasons I think “I want” is a lame phrase

1. It puts one more thing on your mental “to do” list. (Who needs one more bill or one more thing to think about anyways?!)

2. It indicates that what you have is not good enough.

a. Which may be “true,” but Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs would argue that most of the things you are longing for are not necessities, nor are they getting you any closer to your financial and personal goals.

3. And most importantly, “I want” is not a definite statement.

a. A lot of us once said “I want to go to the gym” and we ended up eating cupcakes all night on our couch instead.

The phrase “I want” is really clouding up my busy schedule. It needs to go.

I’m going to break this habit by being conscious of my self-talk and replacing phrases such as, “I want,” “I need” and “I should” with phrases like “I am,” and “I want to be debt free and build my savings account.” Hmm. That last phrase sounded very long and unnatural.

The thing is, constantly thinking about material desires is only taking you farther away from growing your career for the right reasons, achieving financial freedom and focusing on what’s important at home.

I’ll let you know how this goes- it’s not going to be easy.  Start praying.

Today’s post is an interview with the one and only, Ms. Emily Bennington.  Emily and I met in person for the first time in Columbus, Ohio about 2 weeks ago.  We spent the day sharing story after story about work, life and our first few years after college.  As you can imagine, we laughed just as much as we talked!

Meeting with Emily was not only a lot of fun, but it also showed me how much I still have to learn.  Ten years her junior, I really admire women like Emily.  She knows her stuff and she does it all: she has a family, volunteers in her community, rocks at work, is a part-time college professor AND writes books.  Um, bring on the caffeine!

I’m very excited to announce and support Emily’s first published book, Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. I’ve been reading this little gem and find it fun, easy to read and extremley relevant whether you are still in college or have been working for 5 years.

Emily had a rough start to corporate life.  Her stories are pretty funny and all true.  Emily co-wrote Effective Immediately with her first post-college mentor, Skip Lineberg, who was there to witness and guide her through many “rookie” moments.

There’s also a second reason I want to introduce you to Emily Bennington.  You’ll be seeing a lot more of Emily here on Ms. Career Girl.  Why?

Welllll,  Emily and I are currently working on a proposal for an absolutely AWESOME book for young women in corporate environments.  I’ve done lots of research (and let’s be honest, I’ve probably read 35 of our new book’s “competitors”)  and there is NO book out there like the one we are working on.  Get excited ambitious ladies!

On to the interview, please meet Emily Bennington!

Tell us about your most embarrassing entry-level career moment.

I was working PR on a grassroots advocacy campaign for a regional airport project and I sent out a press release stating that Senator Rockefeller endorsed our position. Problem was, I failed to run the release by the senator’s staff. As it turned out, he didn’t endorse it at all and so my mistake became the story. I knew I was in trouble when the reporter called me for a quote and, sure enough, the next day I was greeted with a front page, above-the-fold article quoting the President of our County Commission saying, “I don’t know who sent that release, but whoever it was should be fired.” I seriously thought I was going to lose my job. Fortunately, my boss understood it was a rookie mistake and let me slide with a warning, but my dad calls me “Miss Information” to this day.

A lot of recent grads have trouble transitioning their wardrobe from “class to classy”.  What was your concept of “business casual” back in the day?

Haha. I know this is a loaded question because you already know the answer! When I entered the workforce, I obviously made a physical transition, but it took me a while to make the mental one.  In many ways, I still saw myself as living the college life (going out dancing on a work night for example) and my wardrobe was a reflection of that. I wore things I thought would easily go from day-to-night, but were really just inappropriate for the office. One time I was changing in the office kitchen and my boss’ husband walked in on me! The first question is, of course, why was I changing in the kitchen? (The answer is: I have no idea.) However, I look back on that and see someone who was still more concerned with having fun than being taken seriously as a professional. I’ve learned a ton since then about the importance of being in control of the image you project, and it definitely starts with how you dress.

You’ve told me a bit about your co-author, Skip Lineberg, who was also your first post-college mentor.  What role did Skip play in your early career and life?

Skip was the first person to take a proactive interest in my success and professional development. At the beginning of my career, Skip really spent a lot of time coaching and challenging me to be better. One example I’ll never forget was when I had my first performance review and asked for a raise, Skip made me “demonstrate I was worth it” by successfully completing a series of projects ranging from writing a review of How to Win Friends and Influence People to finding a logistical “problem” in the office and solving it using TQM processes. At the time, a lot of my friends and family were puzzled by this, wondering why he didn’t just give me the raise I’d already earned, but I knew better. I saw Skip’s challenge as an opportunity to prove to him that I was not only worth more money, but more responsibility as well. Since then, our relationship has evolved into more of a partnership than a mentor / student connection, but I’m so blessed that we’re still able to work together after all these years.

How important do you think mentors are for ambitious young professionals?

Mentors are incredibly important but they are also an endangered species. Businesses are just so lean these days and everyone is busy enough doing their own jobs, so they don’t have much time to coach someone else along. I was talking about this today with a group of friends at lunch. All of us are in different fields, all successful in our own right, yet NONE of us had been trained in the jobs we hold currently. I think this “sink or swim” mentality is an epidemic in the workforce and really reinforces the need for employers to devote more resources to training and staff development. However, young professionals need to know that, sadly, the odds of having a great mentor aren’t good and they should be prepared to invest in their own success as well.

For young women who are looking to become working career Moms in the future, how do you think we can best set ourselves up for this path from the start?

This is a tricky question because the answer is different for everyone. Personally, I was 29 when I had my first child and I can say with complete certainty that – yes – waiting a little longer allowed me to become more established in my career. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I wish I would havehad them earlier, but the flip side is that kids are expensive and it’s nice to be able to afford the two I have. I don’t harbor any regrets about being a working mom and I definitely don’t allow anyone to make me feel guilty about it either. So the best advice I can giveto career moms is to be 100% present where you are. In other words, if you’re at work, give100% to your job. If you’re at home, give 100% to your family. I promise you it won’t be a perfect 50/50 split all the time, but your work will make you appreciate your children more… and vice versa.

Check out Emily’s blog professionalstudio365.com, follow Effective Immediately on Facebook and buy her book on Amazon.com!

Sometimes you just have to take a few minutes to to stop and check out where you are, where you’re going and where you want to be.

In honor of the beautiful weather on Wednesday, two of my best friends and I enjoyed an impromptu gathering at Chicago’s finest Mexican and margarita establishment (for those of you who live in Chicago, I’m sure you agree that Blue Agave is really something else). 

My friend Whitney just started a new job at an amazing company that is very focused on personal development for their employees.  As a requirement, each employee must fill out a detailed form which maps out their 10 year vision and goals in several categories.  The CEO of the company reads every single employee’s 10 year vision.

I could go on and on about how wonderful I think this is from a corporate perspective.  Since when does a huge company actually care about YOU, the front line employee, and where you want to go in your life?  And not only does the company care, the CEO cares!  I can only imagine how much more innovative the company is in serving their target market and creating better products because of these visions.  I’d guess that the employees have the highest level of job satisfaction, brand evangelism and retention because of this company’s value for individuality.

So naturally as we started sipping on our margaritas, we couldn’t help but talk about our ten year visions.  This activity was not hard for me in the least.  I quickly spouted off what I saw for myself in terms of my career, lifestyle, family, relationship, etc. 

Which is ironic, because I am not a planner AT ALL.  Like not even a little bit.  I function on the LTF operating system: work your butt off every single day, love what you do, family first and leave it to fate.  I feel that everything happens for a reason.  When I look back on past experiences, even those which were not pleasant, they always led me to a better place or where I am today.  You can argue with me on this one, but just remember that we all have a choice on how to see things.

Our other friend at the table was terrified by this activity.  The mere thought of it practically gave her an anxiety attack.  She is the biggest planner in our group of friends (you should have seen how mad she was at us during the Chicago marathon last year  because we didn’t have a plan!).  She didn’t want to write something down and then be disappointed if it didn’t turn out that way. 

I can tell you first hand that fate was good to her in foiling some of her earlier life plans (I’m sure we can ALL relate to this).   She is exactly where she should be, she is SO happy and she is living a completley different life than she would’ve expected when we met almost 10 years ago.

So maybe the lesson is to stop planning all together.  Or maybe we should set targets and understand that there are a thousand different ways to get to that target.  Or perhaps we should focus more on our top values and know that staying true to those values will lead us down the right path.  What do YOU think?

Am I the weird one here, or is this activity scary for a lot of people?  Do you believe in writing down a 10 year vision? 

For the young professionals out there who email me every day because they aren’t sure what type of career they want to pursue, I challenge you to sit down and try to fill out a 10 year vision for yourself.  It will be like weight lifting for your brain.  Fill it out as if you had no limits: money isn’t an issue and nor are other peoples’ judgements.  Take your college major out of the equation.  Write down your dream life and see what it reveals to you about where you are right now.

To prove that fate is good to us, I will share some of the amazing career stories I’ve received as part of my book research in a follow up post.  You would be shocked at where people started and where they are now in their lives.  All of the stories had much happier endings than where they began.

What’s your 10 year vision?

If you are up for the challenge, here are some of the things on the form Whitney sent us:

• What is your ideal life in terms of: career, income, net worth, home(s), geography, lifestyle, health, family, relationship, education.
• What are your top 3 values?  Some ideas listed are: entrepreneur, fun, passion, leadership, development, balance, diversity, family, recognition, integrity, legacy, patience, growth, achievement, creativity, knowledgeable, wealth, quality, courage.
• If success is a combination of what you are good at, passion and how you make money, how would you describe each of the three categories of success for yourself?
• Set some goals in each of the categories above once you determine a general vision.  These goals can be as specific or general as you want. 

My hope is that envisioning your ideal life in 10 years will serve as a map to get you there.  Maps aren’t always accurate, there are often many pit stops and unexpected detours along the way, but you can’t go anywhere unless you know where you are going.