There are many ways of being a star in your office, but one thing that I really struggled with is attitude. I don’t have a problem doing menial labor, even getting my boss lunch…in the very beginning. It got to a certain point, 3 years to be exact, when I just couldn’t deal anymore and I started to pout. I was 26 and pouting!

I had taken on more responsibilities, but I was still doing the filing, fetching coffee and scheduling doctors’ appointments. I started to resent my job and the people around me. The smile and positive attitude that I once had turned sour and I was short with everyone. On some level I thought that if my boss saw how miserable I was she would give me a promotion.

In reality, if your coworkers see how miserable you are, they probably won’t want to be around you and will assume that you don’t want to be there. I ended up leaving that job before I changed my attitude or got a promotion, but at my next job, I brought a positive attitude and got 3 promotions in 1 year.

How to change your attitude at the office

Ask yourself why you’re feeling bad. Is it a poor relationship with your boss? Do you want a raise? Or have you just been there too long and you’re ready for a career change?

Start the day with something you enjoy doing. I was in charge of blogging at my last job and I loved reading reader responses every morning. It made me feel like I was truly making an impact. What is that for you?

Meet with Human Resources. Your company most likely doesn’t want unhappy employees. Touch base with someone in HR and really figure out the best way to approach your boss. This is good because it gives you a chance to cool off and get your thoughts together.

Have a conversation with your boss. Once you’ve gathered your thoughts and you’ve taken a few deep breaths you will probably be ready to take care of business. In my last job I outlined the responsibilities that I started out with and how my responsibilities had grown. Most bosses like to see this type of organization and thought.

You will hear people say a job is a job and you’re not supposed to be happy 24/7. This might be true, but just be mindful of how your attitude impacts those around you.

• What are some ways you’ve adjusted your attitude in the workplace?

I’m very lucky to have the Mother that I do.

Born to Italian immigrants, my Mom did what most 1st generation Italian-American kids do: she joined the family Environmental Drilling business (honestly, she probably started there around age 6- labeling soil sample jars). At the ripe age of 15, my Mom’s boyfriend joined the business as well. He was a manual laborer and she handled office work.

Today that boyfriend is her husband of 28 years and he is also my Father. But, the weird part? These two crazy love birds still work together and even share an office with two desks in one room! They worked with my grandparents for 20 years and have since started two of their own very successful companies.

Not only has my Mom led three multi-million dollar companies to continual growth, she has also led our family to continual growth. Somehow she managed to pull off long days at the office, laundry, planning vacations, making our Halloween costumes, helping us practice the piano, handling all the finances in our household AND cooking fantastic meals. She definitely didn’t do this alone- we had Katie our nanny of 10+ years and we had plenty of friends and family around too- but at the end of the day my Mom was always the leader of the pack.

Perhaps she still sounds like an ordinary working Mom to some.

After 20 years of working together in the family business, family relationships were at stake. My parents reached their “point of no return” and resigned. It was Good Friday. It was not a pre-planned resignation. This was the only business they knew and the only source of income our family had.

By Easter Monday, they had incorporated a new company, worked with a neighbor to get a logo made; they rented a drill rig, had their admin person working out of our dining room and found a small office space to rent. They were back in business.

I was so proud of my Mom for standing up for what she believed in. She put a smile on her face and did everything in her power to make sure our lives stayed as in-tact as possible.

The energy and excitement they had while starting this business was contagious. My Dad was back out in the field drilling holes like the old days and my Mom was doing the work of 4 people. If my Dad had to leave for a job at 4am, she would get up with him, make his coffee and lunch and start working. During the first two years of this business there were many days until they worked until 10 at night. A truck would break and my Dad would have to fix it and then get up at 4am again to do it all over again. My Mom stood by his side and ours through all of it and she never complained or showed fatigue.

There’s something really cool about a Mom like mine. Obviously she is a rare breed: first, her high energy is a rarity in itself. Second, she knows what she wants and she does whatever she has to do to get it. But most importantly, she always kept her family and marriage her #1 priority.

I only remember one day of my K-12 years that my Mom was home for me after school. It was that Good Friday. And it was totally weird. My Mom was not a Brownies troop leader, she did not bake cookies after school, she did not come on field trips, she did not drive us to all of our lessons and she did not go to every meeting or parent conference in High School. Some of you might be saying, “oh that’s terrible,” but I never felt that way.

My Mom gave me so much more than cookies and rides. She taught me the art of multi-tasking with grace. She taught me about positive thinking. She demonstrated what unconditional love and commitment to a marriage and family is. She showed me that sometimes you have to make really tough decisions and stick with them. My Mom made work look fun and exciting. She taught me that being financially successful is a great thing because it provides endless opportunities for your family and for all the other families who are on the payroll.

Although my Mom told us we could do anything, she didn’t even need to say it. Because to us, she was already doing it all!

Thank you Mom! I love you.

All of this Valentine’s Day talk is really starting to irritate me.  I can’t get away from it- horrible Kay Jewelers and Jared commercials.  The escapades on The Bachelor (more on this for viewers at the end).  Watching dumb girls give it up too soon on The Millionaire Matchmaker in hopes that they will get a free ride for the rest of their lives… 

And outside of TV land, I get angry when hearing about dating rough patches a few of my girlfriends are facing (yes, of course it is the guy’s faults haha).  And shocked (yet not shocked) about a conversation I had with my guy friend the other day about whether or not he should take his regular hook-up out for Valentine’s Day even though he never wants to be in a relationship with her…

Jesus people!

I never notice all the focus on fairy tale weddings, proposals and marriages, but this February, I’m noticing it like whoa.  It scares me.  Mostly because I feel that the media makes relationships and marriage out to be some romantic, magical and whimsical perfection which its just never gonna be.

Perhaps all this media fluff is partially responsible for the high level of divorce in our country?  Perhaps we go into relationships having completely unrealistic expectations? Did people (and advertising agencies) not get the memo that the Beaver Cleaver days are long gone?

And for those of us that are in our mid-twenties- I can hear the fear in my peers’ voices about never getting married, never “finding someone” etc.  Why all the pressure?

And for those of you who watch The Bachelor like I do, I can’t leave this post without saying a few things about last night’s episode:

Alli:Kudos to you on leaving The Bachelor in order to continue your career and job at Facebook. You seem to be the most stable, intelligent and confident of all the women this season.  You would have been crazy to stay only for Jake to end up with the winner (if you want to know who wins, check out realitysteve.com).

Gia: I’m so annoyed that you have nothing to say other than how hurt you have been in the past. How are you going to ever move forward and have a future with someone if you can’t stop crying and mulling over all of your past?  No one wants to date OR marry a cry baby.  You’re lucky Alli left on her own, otherwise you’d be gone like the wind this week.

Tenley:You are slightly nuts.  You are the prettiest of the finalists yet you seem to have forgotten that you are not 6 years old anymore.  You can stop talking like a baby, reminiscing over your child hood, fawning over Daddy, and not listening to what Jake says.  You prove my theory of why people get married to a fantasy and get divorced young.  Remember last night when you wanted to make sure Jake wasn’t a Momma’s boy?  Well he said he was, but you were too busy fantasizing about your glass slipper that you didn’t even hear him and you said “perfect!”  Wake up.

This post is a bit random, but I had to see if any of you guys were feeling this way about all the Valentine’s Day hype too.  It is SO annoying even for those of us who are in relationships. 

The one thing I’ve learned this week from both watching tv and talking to my friends, is to listen to what people are saying.  People show you who they are right away.  It’s up to you to listen and take it for what it is. 

I’ve learned this the hard way more than once, and  I’m sure you have too.  Usually once you go through a breakup you realize that they showed you the signs of who they were from day 1.

Thoughts?

• You want to make more money
• You hate Corporate America and dream of working for yourself
• You fear you don’t have enough experience
• You’re still getting used to this whole “new and uncomfortable situations” thing

I’ve been following Ramit Sethi’s blog iwillteachyoutoberich.com for quite a while and LOVE the series he just wrapped up over the last 3 weeks on earning more money. He provided case studies, interviews, ways to get your first 3 clients, goes over psychological barriers and provides detailed action items rather than just fluff. He also has a really cool online series of courses called earn1k which coaches you on how to earn your first $1,000 of freelance income.

One of his posts included the short video below about devaluing yourself. Watch the video and think about how young professionals devalue themselves all the time, which then holds them back. You can think of it in terms of your job, starting your own business, or even dating people who suck.

Devaluing yourself can sneak up on you unintentionally.

For example, when someone asks you “what’s your rate/how much are you hoping to make if hired?” do you say, “well um, yeah, geez- it’d be nice to make x but honestly whatever you think is fair is fine.” Guess what you will get? A. Someone on the other side of the table who now views you as inexperienced, unconfident and possibly not that good. Or, B, s/he just sees cheap labor. They will pay you the way you respond.

Solution: State your rate confidently, stick to it, be wiling to walk away and pursue other opportunities who WILL pay you what you deserve.

Outcome: Regardless of if you landed the project or job, you just established yourself as valuable and enticing. You will now be in higher demand because you were willing to be uncomfortable for 3 minutes.

Now think of this situation in terms of dating. Perhaps it is very important to you that your life partner shares your religious background and shares your love of marathon running and traveling to foreign countries. Stick to your criteria and be willing to walk away. Not only are you more attractive, but you are more likely to get exactly what you want by confidently “naming your price” and sticking to it.

Whomever you are devaluing yourself to, you are only hurting yourself. Business people and people in your personal life will gladly take what they can get if you’re willing to give it to them.

This week, pay attention to what you say and how you portray your value to others. I bet you will devalue yourself at times without even realizing it. First gain awareness, then try putting your poker face on to get what you want. Let us know how it goes.

How have you devalued yourself in the past? How did the situation turn out? What did you learn from it?

As I woke up at 5:30 this morning to get a head start on my day, I was debating what to write about today. First, let’s start by saying that this whole 5:30 AM wake up call is new for me and is the result of doing a little 2010 planning and goal setting. It is also the result of reviewing my 2009 goals.

I’m a huge believer in goal setting and creating a plan for the year ahead. It’s way too easy to get caught up in the routine tasks of daily life and then watch another year fly by with no progress. I always split up my annual plan into four sections: financial, health, career and personal. This year I’m adding one more part: I want to do something challenging that I’ve never done before.

2009 was a big year for me: I got a new job, a raise, I am living on my own for the first time, I got a puppy, I met and am dating the love of my life, I survived one whole month without shopping, I joined a women’s mentorship program to help underserved high school girls head to college, I’ve strengthened my friendships, took my first girl’s trip (to New York City- also a first for me) and feel a lot more stability and peace within myself.

I’m positive that I would not have accomplished any of these things or made the important changes that I did without my beloved 2009 goals. All year I kept my goals on my desktop at both my home and work computer and reviewed them frequently.

I’ve started on my 2010 list and encourage you to do the same. Split your goals up into categories that are important to you. Your goal setting should be “SMART”:

S: Specific

M: Measurable

A: Attainable

R: Realistic

T: Timely

This year I’m planning on running my first half marathon, reducing my credit card debt, increasing my savings, and doing a lot more with Ms. Career Girl. Of course I’ll need to set specific numbers for my financial goals, and define exactly what I want to do differently here at Ms. Career Girl. I will then break the goals down into what needs to be done each month, week and day to achieve them. Setting milestones (such as each quarter) to review your progress will keep you motivated and on track with achieving your goals and creating your own ideal life.

What big goals did you accomplish in 2009? What do you plan on accomplishing in 2010?