Hello Career Girls!

I’m Lauren. Nice to meet you all. I know we don’t know each other yet, so I though I’d go ahead and let you get to know me the best way I know how- by completely embarrassing myself.

A month or so back, I had a falling out with a guy I was dating. It wasn’t the best ending to our little romance. Our offices are in the same area so I knew that seeing him again was inevitable. It had to happen. The day finally came and I saw him from across the street, at an awkwardly painful distance. We were too far away to get it over with and say hello, yet just close enough to see each other and know that running away was not an option.

After what seemed like the longest minute of my life, we finally crossed paths. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and what did I do? I saluted him. Saluted him?!? What was I thinking?? How was a salute my body’s first reaction? I was so embarrassed. (I would like to take this a step back and say that no one in my family has any affiliation with the armed forces, therefore making this reaction even odder). 

And what acknowledgment did I get from him in return? The head nod. You know the one. The I’m-too-cool-to-take-my-hands-out-of-my-pockets- “sup bro” head nod. Oh how I despise that nod.

This whole situation has made me think. For me, running into an ex outside of a bar or a friend’s party has been rare until now. In those instances you can just keep hold of your drink, blend into the crowd, or look busy talking to others. But now the ex encounter has infiltrated the workday. So what do you do?  How do you appropriately deal with the (sober) ex-run in?

As budding career professionals we’ve been groomed to have the firm handshake. But this is just one of those situations where the handshake is not appropriate.  Should we pull an Obama and go in for the fist bump? Take it back old school and bring it up for the high-five? Or should we just commit to the classic wave?

Obviously, the wave it not my default reaction.

The next time I saw this gentleman, I clenched my fists in my pockets in fear of another salute and gave the most enthusiastic, “Hi!” you’ve ever heard in your life.  It would have made you think I was greeting the delivery man who was carrying a million dollar check for me.  Again, head nod from him. Ugh.

This last time I ran into him, I was mad. Mad that I ran into him again and mad that I was about to embarrass myself once again. But I was so busy wracking my head with the most appropriate way to say hello, I just completely passed him, totally ignoring his presence. But it worked! At least, I didn’t feel embarrassed. Who knows what my face looked like when I passed him though, full of so many thoughts!

So what do you think? Which is best reaction for an accidental ex meet-up? Is it more appropriate to be formal but awkward? Excited yet fake? Or just give the cold ignore?

I wish that my story, due to the level of embarrassment, is not comparable to yours, but I think that a lot of you out there might be able to relate. So let’s start a conversation. Us career girls have got to stick together and help each other out!

Do you have a story? What do you think is best? Let’s talk.

-Lauren

So you’ve landed the dream job or at least the first step to your dream job, then what? As an individual who went from grad school to grad school drop out to intern to copywriter and now editor in the span of a year, I have finally entered the industry I’ve wanted and yet Ambition, like an annoying monkey stuck on my back keeps me asking, “What’s next?”

Ambition, passion, and drive are important, but sometimes it’s good to realize that getting where you want will take time. You might be in your early twenties envying the woman in her 30s who has your “dream job” or you might be out of college and just envying the employed. Wherever you are and wherever you want to end up, sometimes you need to remind yourself that it’s ok to rest for a while on the career ladder.

2 scenarios where you should step back and breathe:

1. I cannot figure out what I want to do with my life!

When you leave college, a graduate program, or transition jobs, you might try and find that one special something which will help you get up in the morning, grab your cup of coffee and make you want to go to work. Finding your passion can happen overnight for some people while others take years exploring different passions. Sometimes it’s enough to be happy with where you are because you can’t force inspiration, you have to explore different avenues and hopefully what you really want to do will come through.

2. I have my dream job but now what?

Personally, I find myself grappling with this position all the time. I am finally on the career path and know where I want to make my living, but up until now there has always been another goal. You worry about the next assignment, succeeding on the next project, and wondering how long it’ll take before I’m CEO (just kidding on that last one). One of the dangerous things about ambition is that once you’ve set out and achieved your short-term goals, the long-term goals take priority. If you’re like me and you’re not patient, waiting for the next step of success can be excruciating. Find the ability to “be in the moment” and enjoy the learning process, laugh at your mistakes, and remember, patience is an evil virtue which we all must alas, practice.

Wedding planning has been an interesting experience for me and very different than I thought it would be. To be honest, I feel like I’m supposed to be a lot more obsessed with wedding planning than I actually am.

Love these purple groomsmen flowers!!

I wasn’t one of those little girls who dreamed of her wedding day.  I hadn’t thought much about what my wedding would look like before I got engaged either.  Although I will tell you- in the spirit of total honesty- I definitely “fantasized” about marrying Thano within the first hour of meeting him.

But my thoughts were more on us having dogs and kids or laughing together as old people, not for a second about our future wedding. All I knew was that I was totally crazy for my guy.

I’m 27 and my fiance, Thano, is 31 and we’re totally in the “wedding wave” among our circle.  We’ve attended 9 weddings per year in both 2010 and 2011.  Several of these 18 weddings blend together in my head and feel all too similar.  Now it’s our turn, and I’m wondering how to make our day special and unique.  There’s no doubt the details are endless and that money & energy can get sucked up in the process if you let it.

I’ve known a few “bridezillas” in my day. I’ve also seen those whose worlds have completely stopped for 1 year due to wedding planning.  I do not want to be either of those types.  While many brides miss out on their friends’ lives and events while planning, I want my friends closer more now than ever.  I can’t wait to be on the other side of wedding world with my girlfriends who haven’t yet walked down the aisle!  Unfortunately my efforts of NOT being bridzilla-like has consumed to the point where I haven’t been enjoying the wedding planning process as much as I should be.

Yet this is one year I will only experience once, so I’m going to enjoy it gosh darn it!

Love adding a black sash to wedding dresses and/or bridesmaids dresses. This one is from Etsy.

I finally realized that what had me in somewhat of a “dark cloud”: meeting with vendors who quoted me outrageously ($40k just for flowers and decor!?!!) and made me feel bad about my wedding.  These same vendors referred me to other vendors (wedding photographers, lighting packages and chair rentals) that were thousands and thousands of dollars.  I started to feel very discouraged, which made me question the purpose of this whole “big wedding” thing.

Why so many Americans do this whole cookie cutter wedding thing in the first place anyways?!

Well, for me,  I got engaged and logged onto sites like TheKnot.com and all this crap is what they told me to do. Wedding sites and magazines are really good at making you feel totally paranoid that everyone is going to be booked up immediately and that you might “miss out on your dreams!”

Thanks to the florist I met with a few days ago for getting me out of my funk. She opened my eyes and now I’m taking a new approach.  Most photographers aren’t $10,000, chairs are not $18 each and the hotel has a boat load of stuff they can do for free if you just ask. In addition, the wedding industry is one you must question, research and negotiate with.  Her widsom revealed that I’ve been lined up to be TOTALLY ripped off!

So after doubting having a big wedding at all, to changing my color scheme at least 3 times (from yellow to champagne to today’s choice: purple) the pictures in this post are what I’m thinking of doing for my September 2012 wedding.

Please tell me your wedding planning experience or experiences you’ve had with other brides.  Any advice?

Oh and PS- I’d love your opinion

• Long or short bridesmaids dresses?
• Silver or purple with this bouquet?

As many of you know, I was laid off from my job about 6 weeks ago.

When I started at the company, I was promised a long-term career path full of opportunities for growth, autonomy and even shares in the company.  I would be a leader who built out a department, launched the company into new markets and eventually oversaw several managers.  The company preached its belief in work/life balance and flexibility even though I worked until 9pm most nights.  During the strange, multi-week interview process, I was told that if I was doing a great job, they wouldn’t be concerned with tracking vacation days and I could work from home on occasion. It seemed like the whole package and more, yet none of it ever happened in reality.

After less than 4 months, I was laid off along with a third of the company.  Some of the people who were laid off hadn’t even been with the company for 1 month! You can’t possibly expect me to believe that the leadership team didn’t realize times were tough before they hired people.  How irresponsible.

Some of these 3-week employees were recent grads who relocated to Chicago for the job.  Others left much higher paying gigs because they “believed in the brand” and wanted to get in on the ground floor of something.  I’m almost positive that people who’ve worked somewhere less than a month don’t qualify for unemployment benefits in Illinois.  How convenient.

I’ve been Ms. Positive “it all happened for a reason” for the last 6 weeks, but now I’m kind of pissed.  I feel the need to warn you about employer ploys like this before you accept what you think is your dream job.

Since I was let go, there’s been another round of layoffs along with execs cutting their hours in half and other leaders who supposedly left on mutual terms.  The sickest part is that this company is still hiring!  BEWARE!  In fact a whole new class is set to start in a few days.  My guess is that these newbies will be sold the “Kool Aid” like I was and terminated as soon as the company gets what it needs and/or inevitably feels the people are inadequate.

Any successful company or notable brand will tell you that its people are its greatest asset.  Studies of companies who FAIL, on the other hand, reveal a huge LACK of respect and value for their people.

Too many people go to an interview thinking they need to do or say anything to please the interviewer and land a job.

Please, please don’t do this.

It’s just like dating really: you are not a prostitute.  You have values and you will not date anyone who walks.  In a job search, you have values, career goals and bills to pay: don’t just jump ship because someone is selling you pipe dreams and vague perks.  Beware of companies who continuously sell you on their elusive “culture,” and won’t write any of their promises down on paper.

And even if they do write things down (like stock options let’s say) pay close attention to your gut feeling and to when these perks actually kick in.

I had a very weird feeling about this company even during the interview process. I felt totally disrespected and remember even being in tears about it a few times.  In hindsight, my first few weeks on the job were also very telling about the company’s integrity, the founder’s view of his people and the fate of so many of us who worked there.

Beware.  This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced one situation during an interview process only to be put into a TOTALLY different situation (my job selling sub-prime mortgages was a disaster and totally different than how it was sold to me at the interview).

If you’re a hot candidate and companies want you bad enough, they will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you in the door.

BEWARE!  ASK QUESTIONS. TRUST YOUR GUT. READ BETWEEN THE LINES. INTERVIEW THEM.  DON’T BE DESPARATE FOR A CHANGE. DON’T IGNORE THE OBVIOUS.

I’ve been fantasizing about the day I’d get to write this post for a long time.  It’s official: a new chapter of my career has begun.

For those who don’t know my story, I have a finance degree.  I got a finance degree because I wanted to have “job security, even in a bad economy,” I felt I needed a degree which gave me “a trade,” and I wanted to “always be able to support myself and my family.”  Not sure why I felt Finance was the only way to achieve these things, but regardless, that was the lame advice floating all around me and I took it as truth.

The funny part is that, until high school, I hated math.  In addition, I’ve never been Ms. Serious nor am I one to do well with lots of policies & procedures.  Getting too caught up in details drives me a bit nuts and I’m from a very entrepreneurial family in which small business was praised and “big corporate america” wasn’t.

It seems pretty obvious looking back that majoring in Finance was an odd choice for me.  But I was hell bent on achieving the “status” of a finance degree and overcoming the challenges that came with it.

So I did it, knowing deep down it wasn’t for me.  Then I proceeded to get great internships in finance/banking and work in the industry for almost 5 years after college graduation.

It’s funny how things shift after graduating college.  Your first jobs are never quite as you imagined them, and often times you feel a sense of disappointment.  In addition, life throws you lots of curve balls: big bills (is that considered a curve ball?), failed relationships, changing friendships and most importantly finding out who you are.

Thankfully, the right side of my brain thirsted for some creative, after-work stimulation. So I started MsCareerGirl.com in November of 2008, which opened up a whole new world to me that I didn’t know existed: twitter, social media, online marketing, making money online, the power of brand building via the internet etc. You don’t learn about that stuff in Finance.

Little by little I learned more about how the technology works, I reached out to meet people from the blogosphere that were way more brilliant than me, I read books on the subject, and I attended lots of events and conferences. About a year in, I established the fact that if I am devouring marketing books and meeting new people for coffee every week to pick their brain and learn about the subject, I probably love this stuff. And hey- maybe I’d even be good at it.

So I took some internet marketing courses through the University of San Francisco which definitely took me to the next level in actually putting this passion to use in a career.  After I finished my second class in 2010, I got a message on LinkedIn from some guy who liked my blog.

I noticed he had been a partner/founder in 3 small companies here in Chicago- all of which I had worked with and loved.  We decided to meet for coffee to talk about blogging, social media and our Chicago network.  He ended our coffee conversation saying, “I just don’t see you in finance at a huge company. One of these days I’m going to find a way for us to work together Ms. Career Girl.”

Almost a year later I got a phone call from him saying “I think I found a way for us to work together.  Let’s put something on the calendar.”  So the four months of conversations began.  He was now the CEO of  my favorite Chicago-based Daily Deals site YouSwoop.com and he was looking for someone with just the right personality, Chicago network and skill set to help grow the company.

Yesterday was my first day as You Swoop’s Community Marketing Manager.  It’s crazy how things work out.

Then again it’s not.

For the last 2+ years, I had put all of my focus, extra time and energy into learning everything I could about the online world.  I often times worked on my blog (and even developed a second site) before and after my day job.  I accepted every speaking engagement I was offered, never being paid for a gig once. I worked with lots of small businesses for free- giving them advice, plans and suggesting ways for them to improve their business.

I’m a big believer that your thoughts become your reality. But for those who think sitting and wishing upon a star will make their dreams come true, you are wrong.  Thoughts must be turned into ACTIONS which then become your reality. And they don’t become your reality over night.  For those of you who have a gnawing feeling that you might be on the wrong career path, do something about it.  Just do what you are naturally pulled towards doing.  And, as Stephen Covey says, begin with the end in mind.

This is chapter one of a whole new story for me.  What do you want your new story to look like?  What are you doing to get there?  What do you love doing?  Why aren’t you doing it? If you look at your life in 5 years, do you want to be doing what you are doing today?  What would change if you didn’t do anything?  Not sure what you want to do?  Are you testing an idea every week?  The more failures the better.

I’ll keep you posted as my story develops.  Thanks so much for reading MsCareerGirl over the past few years. Without you guys I wouldn’t have had the confidence to keep learning and growing into my passion which ultimately became my new career path.

Nicole Crimaldi

Today’s post is by Gabriela Vega.

In today’s society with the numerous magazines covering the world of women’s fashion, countless television shows featuring vain reality stars and limitless red carpet coverage scrutinizing the clothing of celebrities, it is easy for a woman to get overly-wrapped up in concerns about her clothing, jewelry and shoes.  Our society seems to be dedicated to the acquisition of stuff.  However, focusing all of your energy on such acquisitions can have negative effects that, in the long run, influence your quality of life.

Now, I am the last person to tell others how they should or should not comport themselves.  Growing up in my family, as new immigrants, we lived simply. My mother would buy us some new clothes at the local discount store at the beginning of the school year and then add winter pieces during Christmas.  My parent’s motto to financial education was, “we cannot buy that, period.”  No further explanation was given.  Needless to say when I got to college and discovered the world of credit cards and “free money,” well, I thought I was on my way to making it.  Now, I was never Confessions of a Shopaholic bad.  But, last month as I paid off the last of my credit card debt, I realized the numerous ways in which acquisition mode effected my life.

Emotional Effects

I’m sure you have experienced it before; your boss is a pain or you are in a dating black hole and you decide that you need a ‘pick me up.’  The quickest way to turn your frown upside down is to head for the nearest department store shoe (or purse, or make-up, or clothing) section for a little ‘shop therapy.’

You step inside, smell the new leather and see the rainbow of colors and array of styles.  You pick up a pair of red, four-inch stilettos and all of a sudden all of those words that you could not say to your boss or the guy with whom you just broke up disappear.  You try them on and they make your legs look incredible.  You know that you have to experience this feeling again.  Because you don’t get paid for another two weeks, you decide that you will put them on your credit card.  You reason that this would have been the amount that you would have paid for a therapist or that they are an investment that will ultimately help you land that next job and you take them home.

Unfortunately, come Monday you still have to deal with the same boss or when the weekend comes, you don’t have a date and you are back in the same spot.  Spending money, can give you tremendous high, particularly when there are other things that are trying to bring you down.

Eventually, in order to get the same satisfaction you must spend more and do it more often.  Guess what?  That is the sign of an addiction.  Unfortunately, over-spending is accepted and, even at times, encouraged (anyone remember President Bush saying it was patriotic to spend?)

The reality is that the shop therapy good feelings never last and you must still face that which is bothering you.

Financial Effects

If you have ever put anything on a credit card that you could not immediately turn around and pay off, you must know that the big ticket purchase you made will cost you more than the price tag (I’m not a mathematician but here is a simple example.)  With interest rates and even annual fees, a $1,000.00 purchase can eventually cost you anywhere from $1,150.00 to $1,220.00 (for credit cards with interest from 15% to 22%, which are average rates of interest) and that is just for one year.

If you are a person that must continuously shop to repeat the same emotional high described above, your debt can quickly get out of control. Without careful monitoring, you will end up maxing out one or more credit cards.  Add that to only the minimum payments and you have dug yourself a nice hole.  After all, the minimum payment is only enough to pay that month’s interest rate plus a little extra.  Thus, you continue to pay on the same debt without seeing a significant drop.  As a smart, professional woman you would never let a business operate in this manner and you know what?  Neither should you.

Creating a Recovery Plan

All of this happened to me.  Finally, I got to the point that I decided that I would not allow myself to continue on the same cycle.  For me, it was additionally difficult because unless I had monthly amounts automatically debited from my checking account, I would sometimes forget to pay on time, which only led to more fees.  So here is what I did.

1. Accept that you are going to feel ‘poor’ for a while.

If you are committed to becoming debt free, you may have to come to terms with the fact that you may not have disposable income for a while.  Thus all of those wonderful extras to which you have become accustomed to must go.  Monthly manis, pedis and facials, gone.  A new pair of shoes every month or dinner and drinks with your friends every Thursday night, gone.  But, and this was important for me, realize that this is your choice and that you are on your way to true financial independence.  This will give you the resolve and strength to say no whenever your friends want to meet for a lunchtime pedi.

2.  Begin to pay everything on time.

Whether you are like me and you need things to be placed on automatic withdraw or not, making timely payments is critical to success because otherwise you are stuck with extra fees that ultimately begin to incur interest themselves (debtors are so clever.)

3.  Pay more than just the minimum.

Whatever your minimum payment, resolve to pay a minimum of three times above that.  For me, it was beneficial to actually seeing amounts cut down at a rate that made me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  Plus, the more you see your debt reduced, the more you likely you are to become even more aggressive and pay quicker.

4.  Pay the cards with the highest interest rate quicker.

As I stated before, I am not a mathematician.  But, it doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that if you have a credit card with a 22% interest rate and one with a 15% interest then the 22% credit card has to become your top priority.  For this reason, if you need to shift the amounts you send, say four times above the minimum rate and two times the minimum rate then by all means, go for it.  Once you pay off the higher rate card, send all of the money that you were sending to that credit card to the other(s.)

5.  Consider Interest-Free Credit Cards.

If you receive a viable offer for a “no interest for a year” credit card then consider transferring all or a bulk of your debt to that card.  Once that is accomplished, determine how much you need to pay each month before the end of that year and pay it.  For example, if you have $5,000.00 of debt transferred to an interest free for a year credit card you will have to pay $416.67 per month in order to get it paid within that year.  But, beware of these cards, as sometimes they will add all of the interest back if you do not pay them off within the year.

Whatever, you decide to do remember you are a smart, strong career girl and as with all trials and tribulations that you have faced, this one too shall pass.

What tips do YOU have for those struggling with debt?

Sometimes you just have to take a few minutes to to stop and check out where you are, where you’re going and where you want to be.

In honor of the beautiful weather on Wednesday, two of my best friends and I enjoyed an impromptu gathering at Chicago’s finest Mexican and margarita establishment (for those of you who live in Chicago, I’m sure you agree that Blue Agave is really something else). 

My friend Whitney just started a new job at an amazing company that is very focused on personal development for their employees.  As a requirement, each employee must fill out a detailed form which maps out their 10 year vision and goals in several categories.  The CEO of the company reads every single employee’s 10 year vision.

I could go on and on about how wonderful I think this is from a corporate perspective.  Since when does a huge company actually care about YOU, the front line employee, and where you want to go in your life?  And not only does the company care, the CEO cares!  I can only imagine how much more innovative the company is in serving their target market and creating better products because of these visions.  I’d guess that the employees have the highest level of job satisfaction, brand evangelism and retention because of this company’s value for individuality.

So naturally as we started sipping on our margaritas, we couldn’t help but talk about our ten year visions.  This activity was not hard for me in the least.  I quickly spouted off what I saw for myself in terms of my career, lifestyle, family, relationship, etc. 

Which is ironic, because I am not a planner AT ALL.  Like not even a little bit.  I function on the LTF operating system: work your butt off every single day, love what you do, family first and leave it to fate.  I feel that everything happens for a reason.  When I look back on past experiences, even those which were not pleasant, they always led me to a better place or where I am today.  You can argue with me on this one, but just remember that we all have a choice on how to see things.

Our other friend at the table was terrified by this activity.  The mere thought of it practically gave her an anxiety attack.  She is the biggest planner in our group of friends (you should have seen how mad she was at us during the Chicago marathon last year  because we didn’t have a plan!).  She didn’t want to write something down and then be disappointed if it didn’t turn out that way. 

I can tell you first hand that fate was good to her in foiling some of her earlier life plans (I’m sure we can ALL relate to this).   She is exactly where she should be, she is SO happy and she is living a completley different life than she would’ve expected when we met almost 10 years ago.

So maybe the lesson is to stop planning all together.  Or maybe we should set targets and understand that there are a thousand different ways to get to that target.  Or perhaps we should focus more on our top values and know that staying true to those values will lead us down the right path.  What do YOU think?

Am I the weird one here, or is this activity scary for a lot of people?  Do you believe in writing down a 10 year vision? 

For the young professionals out there who email me every day because they aren’t sure what type of career they want to pursue, I challenge you to sit down and try to fill out a 10 year vision for yourself.  It will be like weight lifting for your brain.  Fill it out as if you had no limits: money isn’t an issue and nor are other peoples’ judgements.  Take your college major out of the equation.  Write down your dream life and see what it reveals to you about where you are right now.

To prove that fate is good to us, I will share some of the amazing career stories I’ve received as part of my book research in a follow up post.  You would be shocked at where people started and where they are now in their lives.  All of the stories had much happier endings than where they began.

What’s your 10 year vision?

If you are up for the challenge, here are some of the things on the form Whitney sent us:

• What is your ideal life in terms of: career, income, net worth, home(s), geography, lifestyle, health, family, relationship, education.
• What are your top 3 values?  Some ideas listed are: entrepreneur, fun, passion, leadership, development, balance, diversity, family, recognition, integrity, legacy, patience, growth, achievement, creativity, knowledgeable, wealth, quality, courage.
• If success is a combination of what you are good at, passion and how you make money, how would you describe each of the three categories of success for yourself?
• Set some goals in each of the categories above once you determine a general vision.  These goals can be as specific or general as you want. 

My hope is that envisioning your ideal life in 10 years will serve as a map to get you there.  Maps aren’t always accurate, there are often many pit stops and unexpected detours along the way, but you can’t go anywhere unless you know where you are going.

I hope you all had a great weekend!  The weather here in Chicago was beautiful.  The highlights of my weekend include:

• Putting on a very fun “Social Media 101″ workshop in the suburbs where I met lots of great people.
• Indulging in Mari Luangrath‘s “Foiled Cupcakes.”  They beat out any fancy-schmancy $80 dozen of city cupcakes (i.e. More and Swirlz).  Unbelievable.  AND they deliver to anywhere in the Chicagoland area for less than your first born child.
• My friend Mark proposed to my friend Meredith! Seriously, a match made in heaven.  We got to celebrate at an over-the-top suite at the Trump with all of their friends and family- all of this a surprise to Meredith!
• A funny trip to the dog beach with Giada.  You’ve never seen more breeds of dogs (or humans) in one place.

And now it’s Monday- time to get back to getting tons done with a smile on your face.  Here are some great posts that may help you start to see your self-created roadblocks and start to overcome them this week.

Give Up In this post, Dave Navarro asks you to think of something in your life that you can’t stand.  Then he bluntly tells you that it’s kind of your fault that it’s still in your life.  Are you playing the victim?  Are you saying “I don’t have time, I’m too shy, I’m too fat”? You don’t have to tell us, but admit it to yourself. This is one of those posts that takes a bit of time to absorb.  It’s also a post that not everyone will like.

Top 10 Myths of Self Improvement THANK YOU!

Long Term Productivity means Looking After Yourself Thank you Ali for writing about taking care of yourself when pushing yourself to stay productive.  This is something I’m trying to do right now amidst my crazy work load.  I figure that even if I have to give up a few hours a day to get enough sleep and work out on occasion, I will be able to keep this work engine going longer without crashing.  Also, I’ve identified the things that sap my energy and those that give me energy.  I feel finding your energy sources and killers is crucial.  What do you do to re-energize in order to stay productive?  I could use your tips!

A Request from a Hypocritical Chicken Shit This post is from one of Ms. Career Girl’s regular readers and commenters, Eran.  She’d like you to hold her accountable to her entrepreneurial goals.  She also confesses something that most of us have probably faced at one time or another: we only like to do things we are good at.  As you probably know by now, my theme for 2010 is “get comfortable being uncomfortable.”  The Social Media 101 workshop this weekend was one way that I “got comfortable being uncomfortable.” Now that I’ve lead a workshop once, I’m totally confident about doing it again.  What have you stayed away from because you were afraid you wouldn’t be “good at”?  Have you missed out on an opportunity because you were afraid you wouldn’t be good at it?

Taking a Stand Being a blogger puts your opinions and personal brand at risk of being challenged.  This is just “part of the job.”  How opinionated should one get and how much of their views should they expose?  Would you be willing to miss out on a new job because you stated your opinion on something controversial?  Have you been cut down online?  If so, how did you deal with it?

It’s almost the end of 1st quarter already-whoa!  For those of you in sales- good luck hitting your numbers during the next week or so.  For accountants- our thoughts are with you during busy season.

Many of us started 2010 with a few goals 

We wanted to make this year better than the last.  We wanted to lose weight, pay down our debt, quit smoking, get a new job, etc.  How are you doing on your personal 2010 goals? Have you lost sight of these goals completely?  Have you “quit” your goals? 

You’ve all heard it before, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  It’s funny how we never think of ourselves as insane but, according to this definition, most of us are.

This year I had to face my own insanity and break the madness.  I’m hell bent on achieving my #1 goal: paying OFF my debt.  I imagine my battle with debt (although still well below that of the average American’s) is similar to those who battle with their weight.  It is very psychological and at times hard to control. 

The Change Process That Has worked for me

I’ve used the following process to help me make a big change in my life.  It can easily be applied to losing weight, saving money, or searching for a new job.   So far it’s working really well for me. 

Confession to yourself.  It started with looking at the number instead of ignoring it.  Really facing it.  Hating it, but facing it. 

Confession to Accountability Partners.  My anxiety was eating me alive, so I finally told my parents, boyfriend and best friend the number-all parties are strongly against keeping balances on credit cards.  Confessing was where it really began for me. 

Now I have a team of cheerleaders encouraging me to “get ‘er done”!  Plus, I can’t suddenly appear with new things and go out all the time anymore because they are watching.  It’s also easier for them to understand when I have to say no to stay within the budget.

At the end of each month I check in with Katie and tell her how much I paid off, and what I did good and bad. It has led to much progress.

Taking Action. I only had 3 credit cards, and I cut them up one by one.  It was really hard for me to let go of that last one.  It was my security blanket.  So my boyfriend cut it up while I wasn’t looking…

Getting used to discomfort.  I’m not cut out for credit cards.  I never bought anything too extreme when I did use one, just some trips to TJMaxx, Target, and those “but it was on sale!!” purchases that add up over time. 

Thanks to my credit card, I had never allowed myself to feel the discomfort of saying NO.  Crazy, isn’t it?  The more I face the discomfort, the easier it gets.  I still don’t like it, but now I can tolerate it.  I think getting used to discomfort is the best thing you can do for your life, your career and your goals.

Create systems that work for you.  I’m on a cash only system now.   Who wants to shop en masse with cash?  No one.  If I get tempted, it’s easy to look in your wallet and say, “I truly cannot buy this.”

I stay out of stores.  Sometimes this requires closing my eyes while walking past (you should see all the awesome stores around my office-they are my enemies).  I know, it’s ridiculous but its true.

I also plan  far ahead.  Again, so basic but something I wasn’t doing.  I always figured it would “work itself out.”  I spent a lot on gifts and said yes to every dinner invitation. Not anymore.  I have to plan ahead for my hair appointments, wedding gifts and car maintenance. 

Make sacrifices.  I decided to move out of my 25th floor Gold Coast apartment to move into a less glamorous neighborhood with Katie. I’m doing this because it is helping me reach my goal faster.  It is also a factor of admitting that what I was doing wasn’t working.

Rinse and Repeat. With the help of your cheerleaders and a bit of focus, you will get comfortable being uncomfortable.  Being uncomfortable is what leads you to change.  Create systems that don’t allow you to fail.  Keep it up over time.  Review (and celebrate!) your progress regularly.

Let us hold you accountable

• What were your 2010 goals? 
• What systems did you create for yourself to avoid temptation and falling back into your old habits?
• Are you afraid of changing in order to get yourself to where you want to be?
• If you fell off the wagon this year, why did you?  Do you plan on getting back to your goals?