Happy Friday!  It has been a great week in my world, thanks in part to two people: Bethenny Frankel and Ramit Sethi. 

No, I am not cool enough to be friends with either of these fabulous people in real life.  BUT, I am cool enough to read their blogs and take their advice seriously on two of most peoples biggest stresses: fitness and money.

What I learned from Bethenny Frankel this Week

I got to work on Monday and decided that my sedentary eat-whatever-you-want slump was OVER.  I stopped saying, “I need to go to the gym” and said “I am going to the gym today” instead.  Getting back on the wagon of healthy eating and going to the gym is the hardest part for me.  Once I get back on track, I’m easily hooked (albeit not always for long!).

Thankfully, Katie (roommate and best friend) sent me this great article by Bethenny Frankel on realistic exercise.  Bethenny recommends adopting health and fitness as a lifestyle, not as something you “have to do.”  Once you feel you “have to” go to the gym or “have to” eat salads, there is a negative association with the task and your motivation isn’t genuine.

In her article, Bethenny also recommended another simple adjustment: do exercise you enjoy.  If you hate spinning classes and running, then don’t do it!  You will never make it a lifestyle if you hate it.

I shifted my thinking this week and asked what I want my long-term lifestyle to look like.  I thought about what I’ve done in the past that doesn’t last long and I decided to go on a different track.  So far I’m loving it and craving fruit instead of fries- weird!

What I learned from Ramit Sethi this week

Ramit Sethi-in my opinion- is a true hero.  Ramit is another twentysomething Gen Y blogger who has blown it out of the water.  His blog (and book) I Will Teach You to be Richis way more than a personal finance blog.  Like Bethenny, Ramit focuses his teachings on lifestyle instead of  dramatic cuts. 

As part of his earn1k class emails this week (that class looks absolutely amazing, by the way) Ramit went on a rant.  He encouraged his readers to stop focusing on cutting costs and focus on making more money instead.  He says to “go for big wins” and to “stop wasting your time cutting out $3 lattes”.  Ramit believes in spending money on what you love- even if that is world travel, $200 jeans or spending $30,000 a year on going out.  Ramit’s advice is the opposite of what 99% of personal finance bloggers will tell you, but it is actually the smartest advice.  

Like Bethenny said, adapting a lifestyle means creating a system that works for YOU.  When you create a lifestyle that you want, your motivation is genuine and it is no longer something you “have to do”.  This means you will have a healthy relationship with fitness and finances.  It means you don’t beat yourself up if you eat an ice cream cone or splurge on something at Nordstrom once in a while.  If you’ve set up a system for yourself that supports your lifestyle, occasional splurges aren’t a huge deal. 

Lastly, Ramit makes one of my favorite points of all- people don’t get rich by cutting lattes, they get rich by cutting out what they don’t value and making more money.

I hope this post gives you some food for thought as you end this week and go into next.  Hopefully by Monday you will think of one or two things in your own life that you can adjust to fit your lifestyle instead of what you are “supposed to do”.

• How has making “cuts” financially or in your diet affected you?  Did it last? Why did you make the cuts initially and why did you stop?
• How do YOU motivate yourself to stay healthy both physically and financially?
• What systems do you put in place to account for “splurges”?

I just finished Seth Godin’s book, “The Dip” and for those of you who read this blog often, you’ll be hearing a lot about it.  This book has single handedly changed my perspective of how valuable quitting can be. 

Without going into too much detail, in “The Dip”, Seth Godin challenges the commonly believed mantra, “winners never quit and quitters never win.” Instead, Seth encourages you to quit the right things at the right time. Seth argues that if you aren’t going to be “the best in the world” at something, then you might as well quit before you start.  If you have a shot at being “the best in the world,” then prepare yourself for an intense rough patch (which Seth calls “the dip”).  But, “whatever goes up, must go down,” right?  Therefore:

If, Huge Dip = Huge Competition 

Then, Surviving “The Dip” = Huge Reward and Few Competitors

But this post isn’t about defining “The Dip.”  It’s about being “the best in the world.”

How would you feel if Starbucks started a pet supplies division? Or, if Apple started making clothes?

 I would feel that these brands are getting too big for their britches.  I would tell them not to waste energy and resources on something that will distract them from being the best in the world at what they already do.

Is your next question, “what if I am in the wrong dip?” In other words, what if you hit a wall and are in a situation that isn’t bringing you ANY closer to your long-term goals (remember, dips yield awesome results if you are in the right one!). Well, friends, I don’t know what Seth calls this, but I call it a wall.  My guess is that you are wasting your own energy, time and resources.  Just like those brands were in the hypothetical example above.

Consider these Real Life “Dips”

• Dating the wrong person who you know you have serious foundational issues with and can’t see yourself marrying.
• Working in an industry you hate, at a job you hate, just because you get a paycheck or studied the subject in school.
• Starting a business thinking you’ll be the best in the world, then stopping at the 1^st sign of defeat.  Then repeating the cycle many more times.

In all of the situations above, the person is holding themselves hostage and robbing themselves of the opportunity for something better, something successful. 

Sometimes admitting you’re in a dip is tough.  Admitting you’re in the WRONG dip is even tougher; that requires immediate action.  Taking immediate action is beyond tough.

I was in the wrong dip a few months ago.  I was (unintentionally) starting to build a following as a “career expert” online even though I am not a recruiter, I do not work in HR, nor do I plan on it.  This title made me very uncomfortable.  I didn’t have the desire to pursue “career expert” stardom.  This path wasn’t aligned in my 5 or 10 year goals/vision.  But I was putting a hell of a lot of time and energy into it.  I can’t tell you what a relief it has been to get out of that dip when I did.  It wasn’t easy, and I had to cancel a few big projects and opportunities. But now I can focus on being the best at something I love instead. 

What do you want to be the best in the world at?  Are you doing it?

Have you been in a dip that you pushed through resulting in extraordinary results?

You’ve heard the statistics before…

Gen Y doesn’t trust advertisements; we trust the people in our social networks.  But overall, Gen Y doesn’t trust much at all.  If you’re a big company of any kind, you will have to work much harder to win over the 70 million Gen Y consumers living among us.

How Should Marketers gain Gen Y’s trust?

Well, besides Corporate Social Responsibility, you’ll need to prove your brand to us.  Let us touch it, try it and talk about it.  And let us hear about it and experience it from “real” people. In order to gain our trust, you’ll need to focus on experiential marketing.

Experiential marketing 2.0 means offering your product or service to the right people at the right time. A simple example is the nice lady at the grocery store who hands you a sample of fantastic cheese spread while you are exiting the cracker aisle.  Do that online. 

Technically, paid search campaigns attempt to reach the right customer at the right time. When I Google “smart phone” for example, paid ads for Sprint, Verizon, ATT, wirefly.com and Apple appear. There is one huge problem though:  a vast majority of Gen Y consumers will never look at, trust, or click on sponsored results.

Nor will most Gen Y’ers take the time to go through each of the companies’ websites.  We like instant gratification and that takes way too long. Plus, we’d much prefer to read a short aggregated review of the phones on a blog and buy based on a “real” person’s opinion anyways. 

Here are some ways that companies have used experiential marketing to catch me at the right moment and convert me into a customer.

• WalMart.com.  I thought hell would freeze over before I bought any furniture from Wal-Mart (and then blogged about it) but I did.  And I love my $99 kitchen table.  Why? Because I knew exactly what I was buying before I bought it. Walmart.com had great multi-view pictures, tons of honest reviews and they were willing to ship the product to my local Wal-Mart for free so I could see it before I brought it home.  
• Groupon.  Groupon is the best way to experience something that you never would have tried thanks to HUGE discounts on local products and services.  If I were a marketer, I’d make sure my stuff was on Groupon so people could experience it with for little risk, talk about it and experience it again.
• MattChevy.com. A long time ago I sent out a frustrated tweet saying “can anyone in the Chicago area help me with Wordpress?!” Matt responded immediately with a friendly (and calm!) tweet saying he could help me.  He caught me in the right place, at the right time.  He gained my trust.  We are now close friends and I refer people to him all the time.
• Amazon.com: “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” and “Best Value.”
• Ulta,  Hairuwear.com, YouTube demos, Ulta.  Worst hair cut of my life + obsession with Ulta + panic = temporary solution via J-Simp’s “Hair-Do.”

Readers, where have companies presented themselves to you at the right moment?

What’s the best example of experiential marketing you’ve seen?

It’s clear that I’m one of the many Gen Y women who want it all: a great career, financial independence and, eventually, few adorable munchkins of my own.

If you read my post about my love hate relationship with anxiety, you understand that I’m wired a bit differently than most.

My #1 goal for 2010 was to make Dave Ramsey proud and pay off my credit card debt. I’m down to my last card-yee haw!- but I will fully admit I’d be a lot farther along if I didn’t keep using the phrase “I want.”

I noticed it yesterday while getting off the El after work. I live in an artsy and eclectic neighborhood full of trendy boutiques and unique people. I looked at all the women walking around me and kept thinking things like, “oo I want those sandals,” “I want that dress!,” “I want to go into that store for a new (whatever)” or “I want that haircut this weekend!” I walked a little further and as I passed a slew of establishments I caught myself thinking, “I want 2 more kitchen chairs from that furniture store” and “I want to try that restaurant and that bar this weekend.”

I can tell you one thing for sure: saying “I want” all the time is no way to pay down debt and build a savings account.

3 reasons I think “I want” is a lame phrase

1. It puts one more thing on your mental “to do” list. (Who needs one more bill or one more thing to think about anyways?!)

2. It indicates that what you have is not good enough.

a. Which may be “true,” but Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs would argue that most of the things you are longing for are not necessities, nor are they getting you any closer to your financial and personal goals.

3. And most importantly, “I want” is not a definite statement.

a. A lot of us once said “I want to go to the gym” and we ended up eating cupcakes all night on our couch instead.

The phrase “I want” is really clouding up my busy schedule. It needs to go.

I’m going to break this habit by being conscious of my self-talk and replacing phrases such as, “I want,” “I need” and “I should” with phrases like “I am,” and “I want to be debt free and build my savings account.” Hmm. That last phrase sounded very long and unnatural.

The thing is, constantly thinking about material desires is only taking you farther away from growing your career for the right reasons, achieving financial freedom and focusing on what’s important at home.

I’ll let you know how this goes- it’s not going to be easy.  Start praying.

I’ve been in a fight with my anxiety for a long time now.

I first started noticing it in high school when I was busting ass to get into the top 25% of my 800 person class , trying to rock my classes and get a decent score on the ACT. I had to get into my top choice school, Miami of Ohio, and focus was never my strong point.

I ruined every family vacation growing up thanks to my incarcerating anxiety. Whether we were shopping for a prom dress while on vacation in Florida or eating a meal at an unhealthy restaurant in South Carolina, I always found something to be anxious and worried about. God bless my family for their patience (and for still traveling with me).

College came and then, afterward, I started my career and did my stint of dating guys that weren’t right for me. My anxiety was definitely NOT my friend during these times. In fact, it started to take a staring role in my life.  My days consisted of a racing heart, paranoia, shaking, lack of sleep, having to step away during work to take deep breaths among many other uncomfortable symptoms.

Thankfully, my anxiety is now under control and livable (I am forever grateful to you my dear pharmaceutical company!).  But let’s be honest, it will never be totally gone.  And I’m very grateful for that.  

As some of you have gathered, I really like working. This runs in my family. If I don’t have a “passion project,” a book to read (or write!), a presentation to give, a class to take, a new business idea to toss around or a person to meet in addition to my day job, I’m completely lost. I don’t really watch TV- I just can’t go that long without intellectual stimulation.

Although my anxiety level is no longer the leading lady in my life, it is the engine that fuels my career.

My anxiety (or maybe we should call it energy?) keeps me working hard, meeting people, learning new skills and diversifying my experiences. This engine is my “career insurance policy,” and my career’s “portfolio diversification strategy.”Without anxiety, I’d probably be sitting on the couch every night after work with no major accomplishemnts to reflect my time. I’d also have nothing to catch me if life didn’t go according to plan.

I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the boyfriends and people who said I was “way too young to take life so seriously” or that I “work too much” and should “relax and enjoy my life.” Well people, I’m happy to report that I couldn’t be enjoying my life more than I am right now. The people I’ve met, the things I’ve learned and the opportunities ahead of me would not exist had it not been for my high “anxiety” level.

As they say, “when you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”  Today I encourage you to pick one of your major weaknesses and look at it as a strength instead!  Embrace the unique insanity that is you.

• What characteristic(s) did you formerly view as a hindrence but now view as a blessing? For example, maybe you started life out as calm and shy and now you realize it has made you a great observer and a serious asset in times of disaster. Maybe you were the class clown and now it makes you a top sales person.

• Was there a specific event that made you realize your “weakness” was actually a strength?

• Do you feel your teachers did a good job of developing students’ strengths?

• What did people tell you about yourself that you no longer believe is true?