Consider the following statistics from The New York Times’ most recent buzz worthy article, “What is it About 20-Somethings?”

One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year.

Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once.

They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch.

Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married.

And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation.

Do these apply to you? They definitely apply to me. 

1. I have moved at least once a year since graduating college.
2. I have moved back to my parents twice since graduating college.
3. I am on job #3 since graduating college.
4. I have lived with a boyfriend.
5. At age 26, I don’t see marriage coming my way anytime soon.

Now consider this.

Sociologists traditionally define the “transition to adulthood” as marked by five milestones: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child.

In 1960, 77% of women and 65% of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five milestones. Among 30-year-olds in 2000, according to data from the United States Census Bureau, fewer than half of the women and one-third of the men had done so.

So now the big question is- WHY THE DELAY TO ADULT HOOD?

And then, of course, IS THIS A GOOD THING?

Some scholars are calling the movement “emerging adulthood.”  A period of “identity exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in-between and a sense of possibilities.”  Sounds a lot like puberty to me.

For a variety of reasons, this topic of “emerging adulthood” has been heavy on my mind lately.  I see “fear” lurking all around my peers and I’m starting to wonder why. Many of us 20-somethings are afraid to commit to a romantic partner, to a job, to owning a home or to making big purchases.  Most of us are employed college graduates too.  Isn’t that what we went to college for?

Many of us feel like we should be where our parents were when they were our age.  But where were they?  Yes, they may have had a mortgage and 2 kids in the suburbs but my guess is that they still struggled financially.  I’d also bet that they weren’t working in their dream job either.

Are today’s 20-somethings being too idealistic? Are we waiting for the perfect man, the perfect job, the perfect home?  Does that exist?  Are we trying to avoid the mistakes our parents made in their lives?  Are we afraid of divorce?  Do we avoid trusting society?

Or, do we just have way too many damn options?

Since we were kids, we’ve been told by our parents that we can “be anyone and do anything.” Despite the plethora of excuses that could be made, The New York Times article states that 96% of surveyed 2o-somethings feel they “will get to where they want to be in life,”  therefore indicating a high sense of possibilities and optimism.

But when given too many choices, it is inevitable that we will get stuck.  Here are my thoughts.

4 Possible Root Causes of “Emerging Adulthood”

1. As a person who was raised on MTV, I think that the media has made success, glamour, riches and freedom look a lot more attainable than it actually is. Get on a reality show, and you’ve made it in life- no brains required.  Turn on any TV station and you will get a false sense of reality- no hard work required.  From “The Real World” to “The Bachelor” to “Jersey Shore” to “My Sweet 16,” you see beautiful “normal” people living it up with no mortgage, baby or “boring” adult responsibilities in sight.  No one seems to work and you never see babies spitting up,  life emergencies, overdrawn bank accounts or anything else “adult” like.

In this age, those who don’t take the traditional path to adulthood are rewarded by society. And the reward comes in Gen Y’s most highly regarded currency- recognition.

2. We’ve been raised in the information age; a time when the answer to any question is only a click away. We are used to instant gratification.  Therefore, the idea of building something slowly over time (like a family or retirement account) is almost foreign to us. If it’s not quick and easy, we don’t mess with it.

3. Lastly, we’ve been inundated with information about how we should live our best lives. Take a walk through the magazine aisle and you’ll see what I mean…

Exercise!  Eat anti-oxidants! Get rid of your roots!  Fall fashion!  Spring fashion! Get more education!  Read books!  Volunteer!  Network!  Start wearing wrinkle cream in your 20’s!  Organize your home!  Travel!  Decorate your home!  Stay up on the latest technology!  Buy a home!  Use my credit card!  Get out of Debt! Check your Facebook!  Write a blog!  Invest your money properly!  Budget! Lose weight!  Get rich!  Move up the corporate ladder!  Cook healthy meals!  Raise your family!

My head is about to explode just thinking about all of the things we are “supposed” to do on a daily basis. How would anyone have time to grow up if they were so caught up in doing what is “right” every day (i.e. what sells and keeps this country’s economy going).

Although our parents read compelling magazines too, my guess is that the # of magazines (and information in general) has more than tripled over the past few decades.  Slowly society has turned up the heat on information overload and we didn’t even know what hit us- until suddenly there is a societal shift that’s left us all wondering.

4.  Although college ended, the party never ended. I spent some time with my cousins from Italy last week and they brought up a fascinating point: in Italy, university is not all about beer!  Although I’m being a bit sarcastic, I can personally say that in America, college never ends for many.

The bar scene has become an integral part of the 20-Somethings culture.  We “deserve it.”  We are “young” and we are “supposed to have fun.”  Do we “deserve” wasting thousands of dollars a year (not to mention our brain cells and livers) on going to bars when we could be paying down debt or saving money?  Well, we need to have some great pictures to post on Facebook and for many, the only humor is drunk humor.

In conclusion, it looks like I can’t answer my own question. I’m not sure if this shift to “emerging”/delayed adulthood is a good or a bad thing. We could sit here and argue all day about WHY it came about and if it is good or bad for society.  All I know is that, for whatever reason, the statistics are true.  Today’s 20-somethings are in no rush to pass the 5 milestones before 30.

We will continue to believe we can “do anything” and “be anyone.”  Only time will tell how the delay to adulthood will affect our future children, retirement accounts and society as a whole.  What do YOU think?

By, Rachel Martin

I have finally come to the realization that I have a good resume. I’ve worked hard and I am proud of what I’ve done. So, I totally agree with Christine in her post “Changing Fields” when she says, “celebrate your victories”. How you do that differs from person to person. Maybe you go out of a happy hour with friends or a nice dinner. For me, it was redoing my resume.

I was looking for a job in the interactive world and got some great hits and a job offer with my newly polished resume. The problem is it’s a little below me, but it’s exactly what I want to be doing. I was offered a 3-month UNPAID internship to learn how the website works and then after that term I would become a real employee.

During the interview she told me I had the position and wanted me to meet with a few other people who had gone through the internship and were now real employees. A newly graduated, tall boy walked into the room holding my resume. Someone 5 years younger and with not as much experience was about to interview me.

I had two options: be a total snob and talk about how qualified I am for this job or find out what his background was and how he fell into this job right out of college. I chose the latter. I realized that we just took different paths and he decided to go into websites immediately and I chose magazines.

Bottom line is, I’m totally stoked to start this internship even though I’m 28 years old. It feels right on so many levels and I know this internship will turn into something bigger. Wish me luck, I start August 23rd!

What was the last unpaid job you took? Was it worth it?

How old is too old to take an unpaid internship? I’m already committed to this job, so I won’t change my mind, but I’m very curious…

Last week my friend Sam asked my roommate Katie and I an interesting question: at what point do you give up pursuing your dream career and start pursuing a job instead?

Sam graduated from a great college this May and has always wanted to be a reporter. Like most 2010 grads, she has had a tough time landing a full-time gig in her desired field despite numerous internships, awesome grades and tons of campus involvement.

Katie’s response to Sam’s question was, “You never have to give up pursuing your dream job, but you may have to take a different path than you imagined in getting there.”

My response was that you never have to give up your dream career, BUT you may have to pursue it as a hobby rather than as a full time job. And hopefully someday you can make that hobby into a career.

The answer to this question is, of course, different for everyone. If you’re a recent grad who has pondered giving up your dream career, my advice is to set a reasonable time period for yourself in which you will continue pursuing your dream career.  If after, say, 3 months you still do not have an offer, then start looking for a job- even if it is totally different than what you thought you’d be doing.  Never stop pursuing your passion (even while working full time, and even if you don’t get paid for it).

What would YOU tell Sam to do?

Should she keep holding out for a job as a reporter or should she switch gears and take an entry-level job doing something else?

Ever think of starting your own business? Are you too afraid that you won’t be able to do it? Worried about the cost of a start-up or about your ability to run a company?

These are things all entrepreneurs think about.  Fear is a powerful tool, but not a good one.  It’s a setback and it should be thrown out the window along with self-doubt. 

Having a thought or an idea is just the beginning of starting a business.  Actually, that’s probably the easiest part!  It’s true when they say success doesn’t happen overnight and determination plays a key role in becoming an entrepreneur.  The negativity that will surround you is inevitable, but it’s up to you to take that negative energy and either ignore it or let it affect you.  I chose to ignore it. 

When I started Relax Missy, I was just out of college and landed my first full time job with benefits.  I started saving as much money as I could out of my paychecks and placed it aside for my company.  I didn’t have a trust fund or rich parents, I used my own hard earned cash to fund my way out of the 9 to 5.  Everyone that says you need 50k and up to start a home based business is lying (or they got ripped off). 

There are many, ways to save money, and one of them is doing the legwork yourself.  Take advantage of free attorneys from colleges.  Use your home as storage.  I actually think starting a business without much money is better than starting up with lots of cash.  Being broke allows you to hustle to find a way to make it work and exhaust all options that other people would never know existed.

Self-doubt and fear haunt everyone.  It’s probably the main reason why most people don’t take the leap to entrepreneurship.  Let me tell you, I had no idea what I was doing when I started, and I still don’t!  I’m learning as I go along and hiring college interns who have the energy and motivation to work with me.  As your business grows, you can slowly start to expand with an office or warehouse and even a CEO if you think you’re not the best CEO for your company. 

Starting your own business is a learning process and will always be one.  Even companies that have been around for years are creating their own unique ways to advance; for example, Apple. Until now, Apple had never built an iPad before.  I’m sure there were some roadblocks along the way, but now that they’ve gotten through it they can improve their product and processes.

The saying “just do it” may be cliché, but it’s so true.  If you have a great idea and want to act upon it, then you will figure out a way to make that happen.  Research and business forums are great ways to start.  From there you will be surprised as to how quickly knowledge starts to pour in. 

Working independently, away from the “9 to 5″, is what fuels me to keep growing my business. 

What motivates YOU to start your own business and work for yourself?

Most of us are not locked into tenured positions within financially (or bureaucratically) stable companies; indeed, most of us are now struggling to restructure our resumes and cover letters to land that one-in-a-million job.  And because of this current economic depression, any nine-to-five job these days, whether it be slinging DVDs at Blockbuster or running the corporate mainframe, can now be deemed a one-in-a-million opportunity to make a living.

But keep the faith, ye persistent, yet, unemployed one, because while we writhe and wriggle endlessly re-writing resumes, our future employers are also sweating, restructuring what they look for and how they interview as they try to fill these limited-time-only positions.

For both the interviewee and the interviewer, the job interview is like a blind date. The only information one has about the other is limited to tidbits of facts collected from recommendations, resumes, or profiles on Facebook.  Neither party truly knows the other, and from the jump, there is only a minimal emotional investment and, therefore, nothing really to lose. So, interviewee, fear not the job interview.

In fact, the job interview is less about intimidation and more a function of building personal relationships between potential incoming employees and already-established, team leaders.  While the process is just as tedious for the employer, – who most often than not must plan recruitment meetings, delegate hiring responsibilities to other members of the company’s team, and reevaluate qualifications for new recruits – the job interview process provides an opportunity to heighten employee solidarity and duty efficiency.

As an interviewee, you may experience a more hate then love-filled relationship with the job interview experience (that is until you receive the long-awaited, “You’re hired!” phone call, then somehow the love pours back in).  The tediousness of the endless revisions and fine-tuning of the resume and cover letter is enough to throw even the most level-headed and rational person off kilter.  Then, as you wait your turn in the lobby, clutching onto the resume you re-wrote five times for this specific position, anxiety sets in and the sweat from your palms stains the ivory-toned paper you choose particularly from Kinkos.

And to top it all off, after your name is finally called, and you seat yourself in front of your potential future boss, you must now fight through the intimidation and nerves to successfully sell yourself and your skill-sets to a complete stranger who holds the viability of your financial future in his/her hands.

But quell those nerves.  Because once you are able to swallow the fear and realize that these interviewers and potential employers are just people, too, there is, indeed, much to love.  With every interview you experience, whether passed or failed, comes the much needed practice in solidifying your sense of self and confidence.  And the more companies you interview with, the more exposed you are to different work environments and the more likely you are to find and land a position with a company that suits your work habits and desires best.