How To Become A BadAss Successful Woman In Business
Picture this scenario, you have been sent to a conference to network and make connections, and while you are smiling and making polite conversation on the outside; on the inside, you are comparing yourself to everyone in the room.
“Should I have worn this outfit?” “These people are so much smarter than me.” “I am the oldest person here” “I am the youngest person here.” The list of self-doubts can be endless.
What happened to your commitment to being a badass career girl?
Being a badass is not about being a stereotype of a business woman; callus, pant suit, briefcase and a look that could scare anyone into doing what she tells them to do or always getting what she wants.
Being a badass is fearlessly and unapologetically being YOU. Feeling so authentically confident in who you are and what you do that you can be in any room with anyone and relax – show up as YOU!
Easier said than done, right? OK, it’s uncomfortable and awkward but if we are going to feel like we make a difference, if we are going to move the needle – even if we just want to guarantee we get a raise next year – we need to think differently of ourselves if we are going to make any radical changes in our careers or our lives.
I’m OK with making people uncomfortable, in fact, I turned it into a career. I spent six years as a dominatrix and what it challenged me to do is stand in a place of power. Not ‘power over’ as one might think, but ‘power within’. All the while, it was me who was going through the transformation.
How to Define a Badass in Business
Badasses lean into every day challenges with an ease and a grace. Gone is the hustle and grind that have become a mantra for so many as they climb the corporate ladder.
Badasses also –
- have a clear vision of what they will and will not do and where they are going in their career.
- have learned to master the self-doubt that can cost hours of lost productivity each week.
- know how to wield energy instead of force, to get what they want.
Ready to apply some steps in becoming a Badass Career Girl?
Ditch the Apology
Tell me the truth; how many times have you said sorry this week? “Sorry, I am so late getting back to you.” “Sorry, I dropped the ball on this.” “Sorry, I forget your name.”
Each and every time you say sorry, you diminish your standing as an expert in the eyes of the listener. If you are saying sorry too often, people will begin to doubt your abilities. Which is likely the thing you are afraid of, and yet you are making it come true with “I’m sorry.”
Stop! Start taking that power back right now.
For the next week, I want you to start each email with “Thank you.” “Thank you for waiting for me.” “Thank you for your patience.” “Thank you for being so understanding.”
Beyond conditioning yourself to stop the sorry you are also releasing a tiny hit of dopamine for the receiver. A small hit of the feel-good hormone, making it harder for them to be mad at you.
Chuck it in the F* It Bucket!
I love to give out Chinese finger puzzles in workshops to imprint on a kinesthetic level that the more you try to muscle your way through a problem the more stuck you become. The challenge in getting out of it, is that the harder you pull your fingers apart, the tighter the trap becomes. It is only when you relax and let it go that you can slide the contraption off your fingers.
Those times you pushed yourself to get something done when you needed to take a break, is like pulling your fingers apart in the puzzle, only getting more and more stuck.
When you relax and are willing to let that project fail or to lose that opportunity, then your brain power is freed up to find creative solutions for you. The answers come if we start to listen.
To get started with this, next time you have a task that you can’t seem to get right, I invite you to take a deep breath, and imagine throwing it all in the F* It Bucket. Take a brief walk and let go of needing any particular outcome. Breathe and relax for a bit.
Leave behind the FOMO
We are hardwired to desire and strive for connection, in fact, not too long ago in our human history, community and belonging was vital to our survival.
The thing is that this hardwired need has been spilling into areas where it is no longer helpful. We are connected to most of the people on the planet through social media and we still have this primal instinct to connect and take part in every situation.
It has been scientifically proven that we are incapable of multitasking, yet we continue to say yes, even when we know we shouldn’t or can’t – even ignoring the deeper truth that we may not want this at all.
That is the FOMO – fear of missing out being that is constantly fired off in your brain. You might even feel anxious or irritated when it’s not satisfied.
This is your moment to drop in. Let your current surroundings and what you are doing hold ALL of your attention. It is about giving yourself permission to say ‘No’. A word that is greatly underutilized by women. We pile on projects and tasks to complete, finding ourselves feeling the strain of doing too much.
To nudge yourself in the direction of permission to say no, each day look yourself in the mirror and say “I give you permission to say No.” Then take a deep breath and release the internal resistance that comes up with the next request you receive.
This pattern takes time to overcome, but eventually, you will find yourself saying ‘No’ with ease and confidence.
This guest post was authored by Dana Pharant
Combining her 20+ years in the wellness and stress management fields along with her experience of building a 7-figure business, Dana is the leading authority at teaching her audiences health habits, mindset strategies and authentic presence so they can tap into their inner power, be top performers and close more sales. She is an award winning speaker, Amazon Bestselling author of Beyond Fear, her new book Inner Dominatrix Guide: Become a Badass in Business goes on sale on Amazon October 15. www.danapharant.com