Are you ready for marriage?

A perfect wedding

You set the date.  Catering is ordered.  Guest lists are finalized.  The venue is chosen.  Wedding bells are ringing in your ears.  You and your partner are ready to spend the rest of your lives in perpetual bliss.  But are you ready for marriage?  We’ve all experienced the highs of a fresh relationship.  We readily look over the little things, giving our partner the benefit of the doubt.  We know that this one is the one.  There is nothing in the world that is going to come between us.  Until there is.

Did you know 40-50% of marriages end in divorce?  How is this possible, if we were so sure this was the one?  Maybe we are not as ready for marriage as we think.  Over time, little things that we were willing to overlook in the beginning can begin to fester and simmer.  These things turn into fights and arguments.  They become the precursor to larger issues in our marriages.  Maybe the awkward laugh you think is cute now will grate on you every time it comes out of your partner’s mouth.  Or perhaps the toilet paper orientation really will matter to you after all.  Suddenly all your partner’s previous relationships may matter to you.

Premarital Counseling?

These are just a few examples of things that we don’t really think about when we are deciding if we are ready for marriage.  How well do you really know your partner?  Are you really going to be compatible for the next 50 years?  How can you best prepare so you don’t end up being on the losing end of the divorce statistics?  It may sound counter-intuitive, but something that really works is premarital counseling.  Places such as ReGain offer premarital counseling as a means not to fix a broken relationship, but rather a method to strengthen a relationship before it has a chance to develop cracks and breaks.

Just as it is easier to build a sturdy home on a solid foundation, it is easier to build a sturdy relationship on a solid foundation.  The materials are different but the process is the same.  And the return on investment is huge.  With a home, if you don’t have a solid foundation, you will end up spending money and resources to repair and shore up as the home falls apart.  With your relationship, you’ll spend emotions (and probably money!) trying to keep things together as they fall apart.

Be ready for marriage

If you address common pitfalls, pet peeves, and expectations with your partner before marriage, you are giving yourself a huge advantage.  Many people look at counseling as only a method to fix something already broken.  Cast that stigma aside.  Discussing real expectations and problems with your partner before marriage can go a long way in making your marriage one for the ages.