Beyond the Double Standard: Building Executive Presence

Women face unique challenges when building executive presence. How do we convey confidence without being seen as aggressive? How do we embrace our own style? How do we demonstrate leadership without being labeled “bossy”? These are questions I hear frequently when coaching women leaders, and they reflect the double standards that still exist in many organizational cultures.

The truth is that women can embody executive presence as fully as their male counterparts—and do so authentically. Developing executive presence is one of the top reasons executives seek coaching, as they recognize its importance to advancement and success. Research from Harvard Business Review found that 52% of men and 45% of women surveyed believe being perceived as having executive presence is more important to promotion than having specific qualifications.

So what is executive presence? At its core, it is the ability to engage, align, inspire, and move people to action. As you transition into leadership positions, you move from being an individual contributor to someone who accomplishes goals through others. The higher the leadership position, the more important the embodiment of executive presence.

The journey to developing or enhancing your presence begins with self-awareness and requires intentionality and strategy. Here’s a three-step framework to guide your development.

Step 1: Take Stock of Your Strengths

Before identifying areas for improvement, start by recognizing what you already bring to the table. As women, we rarely take time to objectively appreciate our talents, experience, and unique contributions. We’re often socialized to downplay our accomplishments or focus immediately on what we need to fix.

Beginning with a strengths-based approach leads to more authentic leadership expression. Your executive presence should amplify who you already are, not transform you into someone else. This foundation will inform how you authentically showcase your capabilities.

Step 2: Identify Characteristics to Develop or Enhance

Executive presence characteristics fall into two distinct categories: initial impressions and impressions over time. Understanding both is essential because first impressions open doors, but sustained impressions keep them open.

Initial Impressions

Reputation and status extend beyond your title to encompass your accomplishments, network, and the narratives that precede you. What do people know about you before meeting you? What impressions are you creating through your LinkedIn profile, professional biography, or how you introduce yourself at networking events? Being intentional about your professional brand helps control the story others tell about you.

Appearance matters, though not in the superficial way many assume. It’s about looking polished and put-together in a way that aligns with your organization’s culture and the level you aspire to reach. You don’t need to abandon your personal style, but you should feel confident that your appearance signals professionalism and preparedness. When you feel good about how you present yourself, that confidence radiates outward.

Confidence is perhaps the most misunderstood element for women leaders. It’s not about machismo or extroversion—it’s about self-assuredness and grace under pressure. You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room. Body language, posture, and vocal tone all communicate confidence before you speak a single word.

Engagement skills determine whether others find you approachable and easy to connect with. When you enter a new space, do people feel drawn to interact with you? Simple behaviors like making eye contact, smiling genuinely, asking thoughtful questions, and making others feel comfortable create immediate rapport. These skills are especially important for women, as we’re often fighting against stereotypes of being cold or unapproachable when we’re simply focused or reserved.

Communication ability serves as both an initial impression and a sustained leadership competency. Effective leaders don’t just share information—they tailor their message to their audience’s needs and motivate concrete action. The quality of your information only creates value when it’s communicated in ways that resonate.

Impressions Over Time

Interpersonal integrity differentiates surface-level engagement from deep, authentic relationships. Over time, do people see you as someone they can genuinely trust? Do they believe you have their best interests in mind, not just your own agenda? This characteristic is built through consistency, honesty, and demonstrated care for others’ growth and success.

Values-in-action requires alignment between what you say matters and how you actually behave. If you claim to value collaboration but consistently make unilateral decisions, or if you say work-life balance is important but send emails at midnight expecting immediate responses, your actions contradict your words. Sustained executive presence demands that your communication style, attitudes, and daily actions reflect your stated values.

Knowledge and expertise establish you as a credible resource others can rely on. Leaders who hoard information or use their expertise as a power tool ultimately undermine their own presence. Generosity with knowledge builds loyalty and respect.

Outcome delivery is perhaps the most objective measure of executive presence. Do you consistently execute and follow through on commitments? No amount of charisma or polish can substitute for a track record of getting things done. Women especially need to demonstrate this capability, as we’re often held to higher standards of proof.

Step 3: Design a Plan

Now comes the strategic work. Review the characteristics above and honestly assess where you need development. Create a personal development plan using this process:

First, define the specific impressions you want to make. Be concrete. Instead of “I want to seem more confident,” specify “I want others to see me as calm and decisive during crisis situations.”

Second, identify how you’ll create those impressions through deliberate changes in your language, attitudes, and actions. If you want to be seen as more strategic, start framing proposals with business outcomes rather than tactical steps.

Third, ensure your desired impressions align with your authentic strengths and values. If an impression feels forced or fundamentally at odds with who you are, you won’t sustain it. Authenticity isn’t just ethically important—it’s practically essential for long-term success.

Executive presence isn’t about conforming to outdated stereotypes or mimicking masculine leadership styles. It’s about strategically showcasing your strengths, values, and capabilities in ways that inspire confidence while staying true to who you are. That’s not just possible—it’s the path to the most sustainable and fulfilling leadership.