Cheating is Cheating

Almost all of us have an opinion on infidelity. Whether it’s a one night stand or an affair spanning years, cheating is cheating. Some people blame their partners for cheating and others hate the home-wrecker.

When the home-wrecker isn’t a person

Cheating is cheating and financial infidelity is on the rise. In fact, 34 percent of couples say that they’ve committed financial infidelity at some point in their relationships. Financial infidelity doesn’t even have to be something as big as hiding money or getting a huge loan without telling your partner, it can even be one of the following:

• Pretending something is old when you actually just bought it
• Lying about debt
• Hiding shopping bags in the back of your closet
• Hiding a bank account
• Getting a big loan without telling your partner
• Hiding a bill or an account statement
• Lying to your partner about the cost of an item

How to avoid or overcome financial infidelity

1) Communication

Being able to openly talk to each other is the recipe for a happy relationships and this is especially true when it comes to money. Most couples don’t even talk about money unless something is wrong or someone’s spending is out of control.  Sometimes expectations aren’t realistic, which is one reason people lie about money. Talking about money early in a committed relationship allows for a chance to set expectations.

2) Involvement

Couples are essentially in a partnership and in any partnership, both should be involved in making financial decisions and goals. There’s always one person in a relationship who takes care of paying bills and daily transactions to keep expenses covered and that’s fine. But giving your partner complete control without knowing anything about what’s happening financially in a relationship can lead to disaster. Making financial goals together means that both agree on spending habits as well.

3) Transparency

You may be thinking “it’s only a dress“, but small purchases add up and it’s more about the habit of being dishonest about money rather than that actual purchase. Being transparent doesn’t mean that you have to get permission, but you being open about what you’ve bought or plan to buy gives your partner the chance to prepare. It sets the tone in a relationship as well and as long as you’re both working towards your goal, there’s no need to hide anything.

Just like having an affair, couples can either be ruined by financial infidelity or manage to rebuild their trust and relationship afterwards. They key is to recognize that it’s a serious issue and find a way to create financial trust.

Have you ever lied about money in your relationship?