Office Etiquette – What Not To Do

Happy Monday, everyone!

I’m sure you’re wondering who I am and what I’m going to discuss as a new columnist for your favorite blog, Ms. Career Girl. So here’s the 411:

My name’s Meghan and I’m a 23-year-old public affairs workaholic and political mastermind in the making. I come from a teeny, yet amazing town in Southern Maryland, home of the 10 oz. Bud Light and National Oyster Shucking Championship.  I’m sure you can imagine the change of pace and eye-opening experiences I’ve endured since I moved to Washington, D.C.…. where most people are a not-so-well blended mix of genius and crazy.

While it is widely agreed that Monday is the suckiest day of the entire week, I’m hoping I can make it better, just a little, by sharing my stories and advice as a young professional learning the ropes and climbing the ladder of success.

Now that you know me, I think it’s time to let Operation: To The Top commence:

As young pros, we probably have a lot of time before we land our dream job.You know, the job where you boss everyone around and your salary could support your third home on your private island. In the meantime, there will be a lot of things you wish you had the power to change… like your coworkers.

There’s nothing worse than a coworker you can’t stand. The loud eater. The bad joker. The no deodorant wearer. The list goes on and on. For me, I can’t stand the egotistical, self absorbed “endurance athlete” who insults you on their first day at the office. While sweet karma ultimately has a way of dealing with these people, it takes a lot of fist clenching and tongue biting to get through the day. Patience is key. I don’t like patience. I tend to practice visible aggravation and irritation – often confused with symptoms of pre-menstrual syndrome.

Anyways, in case your coworkers are like me, here are a few guidelines to follow if you want to be well-liked:

1. Don’t eat food that isn’t yours. If it’s in the refrigerator, it’s safe to assume someone was saving it for later.
2. Don’t play your music loud enough for others to hear. While I’m a fan, bluegrass all day is a little much.
3. Don’t sneak out at lunch to practice your bowling skills prior to a company bowling night. Yes, that actually happened.
4. Do have a filter. No one wants to hear about the details of your kid’s failed attempt at potty training.
5. Do keep your hands to yourself. Interoffice dating is awkward. For everyone.
6. Do send someone a puppy picture if they’re having a bad day. Who doesn’t love puppies?

If you abide by these guidelines you may not be the office favorite, but at least you won’t be the reason someone wants to poke out their eyeballs.

I want to learn from you, too! What are your office etiquette peeves?