While you don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy the holiday season, parents, friends and co-workers may think you do, which means they’re either pestering you about why you’re ‘still’ single or worrying about how lonely you must be. Here’s how to respond to them, along with other pro tips for not just ‘getting through the holidays’ when you’re single, but actually enjoying them! Navigating the holidays as a single person can be liberating, and even fun, because you get to enjoy the season on your own terms. Yes, you can actually love being single during the holidays!
Rather than waiting to get invitations to holiday parties from others, get out and socialize on your own terms. Consider hosting a holiday happy hour or inviting your friends over for appetizers and gift exchanges. And yes, take yourself out on a date or search for local events for singles on Meetup, etc. Do things on your own that you intend to do with your partner once they come into your life.
When you’re single, events are often more enjoyable when you attend them with someone else who speaks your language and has your back. Bring another single along with you to any family/social events to avoid feeling like a 5th wheel, and to ensure that you have a good time.
If you’re feeling melancholy about being single this time of year the best way to shift your attention away from your own life is to focus on helping someone else in theirs. For example, you can volunteer over the holidays with those less fortunate, and the bonus is that you may make friends (or even prospective dates) while doing so.
Family and friends can be downright intrusive when we’re single, but rather than getting defensive about being asked for the millionth time why you’re still single, create responses in advance so you don’t feel put on the spot. Try “I’m happy in my life right now, and I know that my happiness is important to you.” Or “I’m happily married to my career, if that changes, I’ll let you know!” Change the subject quickly to something neutral, like a new show you’re watching or a new author you discovered.
When someone pesters you about why you’re single, you can turn the tables and ask them to tell you about their relationship. A lot of times, when people are fixated on you being single, they’re really fantasizing about what it would be like to be single again too!
Above all, remember, you’re the prize not the project!
A former Forensic Social Worker, Jennifer Longmore studied human behavior for many years before getting more in touch with spiritual side of human motivation and consciousness. In addition to having a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work and a Master’s in Education, Jennifer is also a Reiki Master, a Past Life Regressionist, and an Integrated Energy Therapist.
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