4 Common Reasons Why Women Over 50 Get a Divorce
Research reveals that more and more people are getting a divorce over the age of 50 with numbers still on the rise. Although the figures account for both men and women, there are often specific reasons why women seek a divorce. From the onset of new No-fault divorce laws, to the need for greater financial freedom, we look at the four most common reasons women divorce after 50.
Matters of the heart
Although many women who have been married for 20+years find a new level of connection with their spouse, others simply fall out of love. It can be hard to believe that someone you vowed to spend the rest of your life with no longer makes you feel the same way, but a lot can happen in decades of marriage that can change those initial feelings for good. Couples grow apart, seek new interests away from their spouse, become focussed on just their children or have unresolved issues in their relationship. All these can lead to a steady drift away from your partner, a drift that is often unsalvageable. Unfortunately, this can also result in some women over 50 seeking love and emotional connection with extra marital relationships.
No-fault divorce laws allow couples to officially part ways without having to apportion blame. It is possible to get a no-fault divorce in the US and, as of April 2022, in England and Wales too. The concept behind no-fault is to make the divorcing process less acrimonious for couples, and where children are involved, it can often make it easier on them. In divorces where faults are cited, there is often blame and greater conflict which can draw out the process and make things difficult for children and other family members.
Money can be the root of problems in any relationship, and marriage is no different. Differences of opinion on how to run the family accounts, whether to pay off the mortgage, decisions on school fees and work-related finances can all play a role. How and what to spend family income on is another area where disagreements arise, for example, one partner may spend money on shopping, alcohol, or in areas where the other partner sees as not necessary or frivolous. Often, although arguments may appear to be purely about money, there are deeper issues to do with fundamental values, and attitudes that lie beneath and can be difficult to repair.
Children leaving home
Although some couples may not realise it, they have, in fact, stayed together for their sake and stability of the children they have together. Married partners whose focus has been providing a stable and loving environment for their children may find that now they have grown up, their marriage has become redundant. This can be a sad realisation with women grieving for the loss of their young children and family togetherness, but also grief for the partnership she once had with her spouse. For women who have consciously stayed with their partner, children leaving home signals the pathway to greater freedom and the opportunity to try new activities and pursuits.
Divorcing in your fifties can feel as if the rug has pulled from beneath you, regardless of who initiated it. It’s not easy at any age, but when you have spent a large portion of your life with your spouse, it can be especially challenging. Remember that the emotional process of a divorce is much like the grieving process. You will go through various stages of denial, anger bargaining and finally, acceptance. The timeframes of grief are different for everyone, but the same rules of being kind to yourself and patient with the process still apply.