The Fear Gremlins That Are Holding You Back
Fear is a healthy thing. It’s what kept us from being eaten by tigers in early centuries, and it keeps you from doing triple backflips off bridges because you want to be twenty bucks richer.
However, most of us don’t even realize that we shut down endless ideas, dreams, passions and desires on a semi-conscious level, all because of fear. So how about taking a big magnifying glass and looking our fears in the eye? Shall we begin?
Internal Fear – “I can’t do this.”
This fear comes in a range of forms (which I go into even greater detail on in my book, so check it out!), but it can usually be broken into two main parts.
- “I’m not good enough.”
I could go on about this forever, but here’s a hard and fast reality check to counter this fear: No one is good enough. There is no “good enough,” there is simply “good.” You’re good right now, but by diminishing our accomplishments and not acknowledging our achievements, we often times ignore our true potential. Without potential, we truly are unable to take on our dreams – but you have potential! You just need to stop ignoring it.
This means you need to start showing gratitude. Show appreciation of what you’ve done. Every day, sit down and list five things you did well. Don’t let the fear downgrade your accomplishments by saying “oh, someone else could have done it better,” but instead force yourself to say, “I did a really great job on this today, I am proud of myself.” You’ll find after doing that for a few days, this fear will slowly start to recede, letting you take on more tasks and gain yourself more cool points!
- It’s not Common Sense (aka, “what if it fails miserably?”).
A career makeover can be terrifying, mainly because of the thought: “What if my attempt fails? What if I my dream doesn’t bring me a steady job? It’s not Common Sense to pursue something that won’t carry me to retirement or give me a steady wage, right?”
In the time of our parents, getting a job right out of school, holding that job your entire life (whether you liked it or not), getting good wages, retiring well and then spending the rest of your life drinking canned beer and telling stories… that was the ideal life. Settling down with a career as soon as possible and then keeping it until retirement was Common Sense. Completely remaking your career would be the exact opposite of Common Sense, right?
Job security is absolutely a thing of the past. Modern technology allows people to have access to opportunities like never before, and it has even created jobs which could never have existed before. Common Sense has since evolved with the modern generation to have a new definition: it’s creativity, flexibility, and the courage to try something new.
There may be some financial insecurity, there may be some rocky times in between jobs, and there may be a lot of “swing and misses” in achieving your goal. In today’s age, you have just as great a chance of achieving it, if not a better chance! So go for it!
External Fear – “What will others think?”
Internal fear is arguably the worst, since the insidious monster of doubt can pitch up a tent in your brain and stay for a while. Yet external can sometimes be even harsher than internal; they’re real-life and in your face when you go to that dinner party or hang out with your family. This fear could be broken into a million forms, but there’s one main source:
- What will everyone else think?
Any internal arguments and doubts you have are likely ones that have been voiced by others. “Why not get a steady job? Why take the risk? Why would you want that career?”
Here’s the thing, though: There will always be people who don’t understanding. ALWAYS. You need to take comfort in the fact that there are countless people (right here in the FB group!) who understand exactly what you’re going through.
Ready for more? Those who make arguments about how it’s not “Common Sense,” want it too – they want to pursue a more passionate and full life – they’re just letting fear hold them back. Don’t let their fear bog you down!
Don’t be that girl, the one who always had BIG dreams but was always too scared to follow them!