The ONE thing you need to do to get what you want

Think about a time when you were a kid and wanted something really badly from your parents. What was the one thing you did that made them give you whatever you wanted?

The answer is probably this one: you ASKED.

I know there might have been some crying and yelling involved too, but my point is that sometime in the past you were much better at doing one of the things that are most helpful in getting us what we want.

For some reason, when we grow up we start being ashamed of asking for help or start believing that we need to get things on our own, and then we simply stop asking for help. And that is a huge loss!

The good news is that we can learn how to ask again, and more importantly, how to ask better in order to be more effective in achieving our goals.

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To do that, all you have to do is ask in 5 ways:

Ask someone who can help you

Most of the time, we go to the person we are closer to or the one we believe will be more willing to help us. However, asking the person who has the right resources – knowledge, capital, connections, time or experience – is the first step to success.

The challenge is to be brave enough to ask the person who can really help us, and to face any emotions we might encounter on the way, like fear or shyness.

To find that person, you need to start noticing who are those who have achieved what you want or who know how to get you there. And to find this information, you need to do some good research before asking; otherwise you will only lose both of your times.

Ask specifically

 Communication is an art. How many times have you thought you were clear about something, only to realize later that the other person understood it completely wrong?

To guarantee results, you must describe exactly what you want, when, where and how.

The more precise you are, the more clear you will be on whether the person can help you and the faster you will be able to adapt your strategy if needed.

Ask while creating value for the person you are asking

 The best way to guarantee your “yes” is to find a way to give value back to the person helping you.

The value created could be monetary, but it doesn’t always have to be something tangible. It could be a feeling that he´s being part of something great or that he´s helping you build your dream.

The more you are clear about what motivates this person, the more you will be able to offer him something valuable in return – so again it is important to do your research before asking!

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Ask with strong belief

If you aren´t convinced about what you are asking for, how can anyone else be?

When you ask, do it with absolute conviction and passion. Express why that is so important and what it means for you. Show that you are sure that you will succeed and that you will be able to create value to the person helping you.

In the end, it´s almost impossible to say no to a confident and passionate person!

Ask again until you get what you want

Many times people do the first four steps brilliantly, but they miss the fifth and maybe most important one of all.

Like everything in life, the more we do something, the better we get at it. It´s naïve to think that we will always get what we want in the first try – and even more naïve to give up after the first “no”.

This doesn´t mean we have to ask the same person or the same way again and again. It means we have to learn from every “no” we get and adapt our strategy accordingly, until we ask the right person the right way and get what we want!

This is where kids have the greater advantage versus adults: they insist until they get what they want. So learn from the best and make sure you bring back that hidden talent you had in your childhood and start asking for what you want every day from now on!


Image credits.

Main.  Ask.    Believe.

Tatiane Delamuta

Tatiane is a Brazilian marketer with an MBA from IESE Business School in Barcelona and currently living in London. With over ten years of experience, she has managed brands and products in the consumer goods, retail and pharmaceutical sectors. Passionate about travelling, she is always planning her next trip – and driving her husband crazy with her intense sightseeing plans. You can follow her on twitter @tati_delamuta

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