Sexuality : It’s Not A Big Mystery

Western culture has been criticized for our emphasis on sexuality.  For being womanizing, for promoting everything from soup to nuts and soap to butts with sex.  And while the subject is usually considered to be of the female gender, though more subtle,  men are just as much in the game.  It’s time this was put into perspective.

Sexuality Definition

Not to be confused with sexual orientation, sexuality is first defined by Webster as “capacity for sexual feelings.”  They go on: “She began to understand the power of her sexuality.”  Synonyms: sensuality, sexiness, seductiveness, desirability, eroticism, physicality, sexual appetite, passion, desire, lust. “She had a powerful sexuality.”

Sexuality from a Historical Perspective

As Wikipedia notes, “The social construction of sexual behavior—its taboos, regulation, and social and political impact—has had a profound effect on the various cultures of the world since prehistoric times.”  This seems like a  pretty “duh” statement, yes?

But look at some of the world’s oldest cultures.  Knowing that current practices can be traced back sometimes thousands of years, one begins to get a clearer picture of the how the powers inherent in sexuality are not something invented in the production studios of legitimate or erotic western commercial enterprise.

Way too much has been written about the supposedly victimized male.  Claiming all manner of wrongdoing, the popular media has spotlighted the use of sex, by women, as a weapon.  Even sources that one would expect to be pro-woman seem to all too easily vilify females in the sex dynamics of the modern western couple.   Some went so far as to list the seven ways women abuse their sexuality powers on their men.

That some women do this is true.  Equally true is that men use the same psychological games of sex to manipulate their female partners.  The female behavior is only more obvious because the female is more often portrayed as the object of sex.  But this is changing, too.  More and more, men are coming out from the thinly veiled manipulation they’ve used in the past and embracing the reality that they, too, have great powers in their sexuality.

So comes the simple yet seldom heard advice:  Just because you have the power to do something doesn’t mean you should.  Women possess great powers of sexuality.  Men possess great powers of sexuality.  They are not adversaries except when they choose to be so.  And the inherent existence of the powers have always been with us.  They are hardwired.

Embracing the Power

Everyone is familiar with the weapons of the Jedi.  The lightsaber can be deadly, but it is elegant.  While the Jedi uses the lightsaber for defense, they characterize it as “a weapon of a more civilized age.”  From this, much we can learn, as Yoda might say.

Knowing that the powers you possess are so great, the challenge is to master them.  Much as the Jedi learns to master the lightsaber.  In a “more civilized” age, one can learn to mate elegance to elegance.  The result . . .  well, if you don’t know, you have pleasant experiences awaiting you.

Reframing Sexuality

Yes, sexuality, and the way sex is portrayed, is different in western culture.  But, as the aforementioned video so pointedly illustrates, it is not simply commercial perversion and exploitation.  At worst, it’s simply our version of one of the oddities of life, human life in particular.

So what if the perceived warriors in this game of sexuality were to lay down the weapons?  Yes, most of us have been there.  That’s the  moment of . . . . OH  . . . OH! . . . .OH!! MY  . . .  GOD!!!   Seems to me, those moments are worth all the trouble.   Seems to me that a lot more of them might lower the general level of anxiety in the world.   Lay down your swords, and make piece.  (wink)

Stoke the Fires

Clearly, there’s nothing wrong with the way sexuality is used in advertising.  Either advertising for hamburgers by Carl’s Jr or in the window cleaner ads that follow.

These play on our natural, hardwired sexuality.  Maybe it’s time to get more in touch with yours?  But how, you say.  Ahhh, I thought you’d never ask!

Adventure is Where it is Found

What goes on behind closed doors, well, is what goes on behind closed doors.  While I do not endorse such activity nor encourage it, sometimes it spills out from behind closed doors.   As in the recently covered news item about the “High Roller Club” that most of us would consider a wee bit much.

So indulge yourself.  If you lack in the finer arts of sexuality, the bookstores are brimming with helpful and fully illustrated assistance.  Yes, there’s even a “Sex For Dummies.”  And the internet’s propensity for all things sexual is certainly no secret.  Exploring can often result in sensory shock and extended worry about who will find out where you wandered.  A couple sites that tend more towards the classy and less towards the trashy are Victoria’s Secret and 3 Wishes .

Now, put down the weapons.  Plan your adventure.  And, oh yes, be sure to tell the boss you’ll be late tomorrow.




Linda Allen

I'm a serial entrepreneur, with a resume that makes me look like a Jane of all trades. Pretty sure we are all reluctant Messiahs, travelling through life planting seeds where ever we can. Hopefully, most of mine have been good ones! MA from Miami University (Ohio, not Florida), BA from Cal State.