Having it All: Possible or Just a Trap?
“I want it all.” …You’ve either started singing the Queen song or you’re rolling your eyes. But let’s face it – each of us wants it all. As simple as it may seem, the idea of “having it all” is one of the most controversial concepts around, with its own fair share of prejudice. I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t have her own opinion about what it’s like to have it all, or how to have it all, or whether they even can have it all.
As a successful career girl I’m sure you have big dreams – but it’s just out of your reach, right? We all said we wanted to be an astronaut as children, but that’s a pipe dream, right?
Ok, let’s rewind. Let me make one thing crystal clear – you can have it all. It’s just not possible to wake up one day and find it in your lap. The road to success is paved with a lot of stepping stones, some changes to your thinking, and a willingness to keep going at it day after day. I’m not saying it’s time to cue the Rocky montage; I’m saying it’s time to wake up and decide that you’re going to make an effort, in the big ways and the small, to reach your idea of success.
Step one: Get “ Having It All ” in Perspective.
What someone wants is entirely dependent on their own tastes and what they enjoy in life. For some, having it all may be reclining on a beach with hunky towel boys and expensive Champaign in a flute glass. For others, it can be a quiet apartment with a good book and a nice cup of tea. Would you like to spend more time with your kids? Are you looking to make big impact at work? Full time job? Part time? Your own gig?
The value of these goals are only determined by how much the person enjoys them – which means you can have it all, but only if you know what your “all” is! This is all about declaring your vision of success. It has nothing to do with your bank account and everything to do with how you feel about your life and work.
Step two: Create a Motto!
When you understand what your dream career and life look like, it’s time to pack them up in a guiding rule – aka your motto. Figure out a sentence that defines your approach. What are you going to say every morning to keep yourself going? What personifies your ideal dream of success? What personifies the person you want to be at the end of this? Get really clear on what having it all means to you. This year I’ve created a motto for myself to live by to help me to have a wonderful year and achieve my goals; it’s a motto that means something to me and helps me focus my priorities again.
Step three: Start (with small stepping stones) Today.
Often we think we can only live our dream lifestyles when we’ve reached our big goals, but I don’t believe that to be true. We can start living our dream life now. We just need to think about the small things (and the big things) that could help us live our dream life this year. Maybe you really, really, really want to be a carpenter; that doesn’t mean you have to get a degree right now or build a table tomorrow. You can start planning the small stepping stones that are going to get you that end result. Who should you reach out to? What books should you start reading? What hobbies will help cultivate that dream in your daily life?
Those are the fundamentals to really making it work. It won’t always be easy but at least you know where you’re headed. Yes, having it all is out there, and it’s waiting for you!