How to Really Find Your Soulmate

There are a million supposed solutions for finding your eternal partner/lover/ husband/soulmate.

You could do online dating. You could do summer dates, bad dates, date older or younger, international dates, date your work, date your type, date your dentist, go on just-trying-to-be friends dates and then do more online dating.

You can have awkward embraces, uncomfortable drinks, weird flirting incidents and accidental salutes.

You can rationalize your date, try to change your date, or make your date “the one”. But truthfully, there is only one thing you should do to find your soulmate: 


Sometimes, the more we try, the more we actively search, the more we make an effort, the less open we are to just letting the universe take control. 

Think about it–how about we just go to a bar on a Friday night to have fun and not actively pursue our next catch. Right? I’m not saying it isn’t difficult. It is. But instead of keeping your eyes peeled, just focus on the joy that is in front of you–your friends, your life–and just stop trying.

It WILL happen. At the right moment, when the worlds collide, when God/Allah/Beyonce knows that the time is right for you, it WILL happen. So until then, sit tight, enjoy the ride, and just be the best YOU possible so when that soulmate does come along, there will be NOTHING holding you back.

Sound good? I hope so. That’s my plan at least.

Happy Thursday y’all.


Lauren Schaefer

Lauren Schaefer is a nonprofit event planner, comedy improviser, avid blogger and New York City single lady. She documents her own new journey as a young professional in New York at her blog From the Fifth Floor.

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