I’m a Flirting Bully

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been known to pick up my fair share of gentlemen in bars.  I’m not a slore ( a slut-whore) so there has got to be some skill on my part right?

Well I have never really thought about it before, I’ve always just let it happen. But when my friend asked for my tips, I began to really thing about how I had sparked my past gentlemen catches.

I began every conversation with an insult.

“You’re drinking THAT beer”

“Ewe. Why are you cheering for THAT team?”

“If you were a dinosaur you’d be a stegosaurus? Geez, what a girlie dinosaur.”

How did this happen??  I swear I’m not a monster.

After recognizing this horrible habit of mine, on my next flirting escapade, I stopped myself. I was doing it again. Then when trying to break the habit, I hit a brick wall. I didn’t know what to say or do. My schmoozing was dead. My charm was tarnished. My smooth moves ceased to exist.

I can’t flirt. But I can throw out a good insult. How embarrassing.

I’ve always gone to humor with guys since there are always girls with much higher heels and much lower standards at bars than me. Sure, my insults are filled with sarcasm but even so,  when has humor turned into straight up insults?

I think maybe I’m testing them. If they can’t stand my sass, then I’ll know immediately to not waste my time. But what am I expecting? Someone just to fall in love with me based off an insult? What kind of guy really finds an insult attractive and what kind of person am I presenting myself as?

One of these days I will hit on someone’s deep-rooted insecurities an I’ll either make a grown man cry or get punched in the face. And that will look real good.

So I guess I need to clean up my game. But like I said, I’ve hit a wall. The idea of winking, being cute, or showing too much cleav makes me want to vomit. Anybody have any good pick up lines?!?

So how do you flirt? Are you a flirting bully like me?  Has anyone else gotten into a rut like this before?

Let’s talk.

Happy Thursday Y’all!

Lauren Schaefer

Lauren Schaefer is a nonprofit event planner, comedy improviser, avid blogger and New York City single lady. She documents her own new journey as a young professional in New York at her blog From the Fifth Floor.

You may also like...