The Shlub: Your Narcissist Will Break You!

From the Editor: If you suspect you are being gaslighted or may be involved with a narcissistic partner, you probably are. Reach out for help. Find a support system. Your mental health and future are at stake! If this tale, based on the real experiences of the author, resonates with you, that’s your Shiny calling out!


Disclaimer: This story assigns pronouns which indicate a lesbian interaction. Feel free to mentally transform the gender of either or both archetypes as you see fit. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, other than me, is unintended and  purely coincidental.  

No lesbians were harmed in the writing of this piece. 

I have a tale to tell, and though it might seem uncharitable of me to put it all to paper, I am nonetheless compelled. I am what is known as a Snazztop Shiny, and this is the story of my disagreeable encounter with perilous Shlub.

The Shlub is a fearsome beast suffering from missing pieces. It is a she, so we shall heretofore think of it as “her”. No one knows for sure what makes the Shlub shlubby, but many have an unfortunate understanding of the ramifications of her menacing hunger. You see, she is hungry for the parts and souls of Snazztop Shinys. Not just hungry really, she’s truly ravenous. The Shlub has convinced herself if she eats enough Snazztop Shiny parts and slurps enough Snazztop Shiny souls, she can replace her missing parts and will magically transform into the snazziest and shiniest Shiny of them all.  What are Snazztop Shinys you ask? We are shes who are kind, thoughtful, and loyal to a fault. We also have universally, one important quality – We are nurturing. It’s our nurturing that makes us most vulnerable, and most appealing, to the dreaded Shlub.

And so, here’s where the story gets sad (if you’re the sort who feels/not a shlub, that is). The Shlub has a ruthless habit of collecting Snazztop Shinys who are just trying to go through life being the helpful, thoughtful Shinys we are. You see, the Shlub is very crafty. She adopts a mask of hopeless need which plays beautifully on the nurturing natures of Shinys. The Shinys can’t bear to see someone in distress, even the Shlub, so we come running in droves, offering the solace that marks our hearts, hoping to save the Shlub and make her feel whole again. The Shlub thus actively replenishes her gaggle of Shinys and uses them as she will. Until that is, they run away or die. 

Here’s where the story gets very sad (again, as I said above, if you can feel). By assuming the posture of her most pitiful countenance, the Shlub entices her Shinys into her trap and immediately begins peeling away their parts and slurping at their souls. Unfortunately, the parts and souls are too intrinsically sweet for the Shlub’s tastes, and in the beginning, they only make her gag and feel like she’s falling. The Shlub has found that in order to feed on Shinys, she must make the Shiny sad. The sadder the Shiny, the more bitter her parts, which makes her palatable, indeed delicious, for the Shlub. The Shlub has found if she makes a Shiny sad enough, her soul becomes almost as delightful as a hot, frothy cup of true self-loathing. 

And so, it goes. The Shiny is trapped, her heart breaking, while the Shlub is feasting. Until one day, the Snazztop Shiny finally begins to see the truth. It comes when the Shlub goes too far in her cultivation of misery. Shinys are not stupid, just generous, you see. The Shiny has tried talking to the Shlub, tried to reason with her, and tried to make her see her festering ways. That’s when the Shiny finds out there is nothing more abhorrent to a Shlub than being asked to acknowledge her missing parts. The Shlub responds with the most vicious attacks yet, and the Shlub’s victim mask falls away revealing her true face. At this, the Shiny flees. She runs so fast, a few more parts of her fall to the ground, where the Shlub devours them without remorse. 

Now the Snazztop Shiny is faced with her worst fear. She has abandoned the Shlub, and she knows it, and because of her nurturing nature, this is hard. She’s missing pieces, parts of her soul, and worst of all, saddest of all, her caring heart misses the Shlub. Meanwhile, the Shlub has not relinquished her quest. The Shlub loses no time as she goes to work souring another sweet soul from her collection. She slurps and she peels, and she devours, never ever satisfied. She doesn’t realize it’s the giving of parts that could make her snazzy and shiny, while the taking of parts serves only to make the holes so much bigger. The Shlub nevertheless will keep trying until the holes become bigger than any mask can conceal, and she can no longer deceive even the most innocent Shiny. For the Shlub, there will never be enough Snazztop Shinys to make her whole.   

That’s it; that’s the story. It’s a rather abrupt ending, I know, but it’s everything, and I can tell you it caused me no shortage of sadness to relate it. This has been a tragic parable, but I don’t want you to lose hope if you’re a Snazztop Shiny like me. Though it may seem impossible, in time, your parts will grow back. Even now, as you’re helping that stranger load her groceries into the car, or soothing a frightened animal, or even just listening to a friend pour out her fears, your soul is sweetening again. Soon, you’ll be back to normal. It’s true. Your Shlub has moved on, so must you.

Always keep in mind, being a Snazztop Shiny is a blessing. We know true joy, the reward of feeling deeply, and the undeniable grace of living a life we can be proud of. There is simply no better way to be. Just ask another Shiny who’s been where you are today. She’ll show you why you’re still so very snazzy, right before she goes to work to help you reclaim your shine.

©2021, Sharon Yeager. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the author. 


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