3 ANNOYING Excuses to NOT Change Paths and Create the Life of Your Dreams
The headline sounds confusing, right? Who wouldn’t want to find their big passions, understand what is their dream career and pursue it… well as it turns out: almost everybody! Wait, what?
Yes, our mind is programmed that way to keep us safe and unhurt. So whenever an unfamiliar idea or a challenging change pops up and lights you up with excitement, a second latter your self- sabotaging mechanism will kick in with doubts and excuses of why you really should NOT pursue those dreams.
Well dear Ms. Career Girl you are in for a treat. I’ve gathered the 3 most common (and most annoying) limiting beliefs that are holding you back and some advice on what to do with them:
Excuse #1: I don’t have time to change my career
Busy. Busy. Busy. We are all busy. Running around in circles. Books to finish, courses o complete, tasks to delegate and deadlines to meet . I get it, I hear it often from my friends, family and my clients: I do not have time. I have so many things to do.
But often when we start looking deeper into the issue it turns out that there is plenty of time. If you get your priorities right and look critically into how you spend your time, you can easily find up to two or three hours per day to spend on your career change or development.
The best idea is to track your activities for a week. Take a notebook and write down all the things that you do during the day, including the timing.
After having a critical look at how you spend your time, you might find out that you spend up to two hours per day on things like Facebook, email, internet, TV, Netflix etc.
Of course we all need our relaxing time, but ask yourself if you really can’t free up one or two hours a day to focus on something you deeply care about: your professional life development! Choose your priorities and choose them right!
Excuse #2: What will my parents / partner / children / anyone else say about my change?
Getting the right support and encouragement from others is one of the most crucial elements to your success when changing career or anything else in your life.
One of our basic needs, according to American psychologist Abraham Maslow, is the need for love, acceptance and belonging. We need others not only to survive, but also to live a happy and fulfilled life.
That is why one of our primary fears is the fear of not being accepted. We do crazy things in order to be accepted. We often change our opinion to please others, or are paralyzed if we have to give a 10-minute public speech.
No wonder we are worried about what those closest to us will say about a career or other life change.
It is also important to me what my husband thinks about my new business projects and I do often consult him. So don’t get me wrong, you surely need to talk with your partner about your plans.
However there are also situations in which we take the opinions of others much more seriously than we do our own. And this is the point where it can go wrong.
First you need to identify whose approval you are actually seeking. Is it the approval of your partner? Or is it the approval of your parents, sister, brother or best friend?
Sometimes I even hear from my clients that they feel it is “society” who does not grant them the approval to move forward. Well here’s the thing: they are not an expert on YOU, and chances are they are too scared to make their move to even bother judging or talking about your “unusual” choices.
So there you go. If this excuse is the one that you keep telling yourself, take a moment now to think whose opinion you fear the most.
You actually do not know for sure if the disapproval is real unless you have heard it directly from the given person. If your partner’s opinion is the one you are most worried about, then you need to talk to your partner first.
If you fear the opinion of your parents or friend, you need to realize that you are an adult person and ask yourself whether you want to live a life fulfilling the expectations of others, or to make your own choices.
Excuse #3: What if I fail?
This is one of the most common reasons why many people get stuck for years, sometimes for a lifetime. What if I fail? And even worse: what if others see that I have failed?
This excuse is based on the fear that by changing we are going to make a huge, irreversible mistake.
So where is this fear coming from? It comes from that fact that we were taught that mistakes are wrong and should be avoided at all times. Mistakes are bad, dangerous and should be punished.
But what if we start perceiving mistakes as a part of the game and see them as learning opportunities rather than mistakes? Yes things might not go as planned, yep you can even fail at something… but what if you actually win?!
If you are suffering from the fear of failure, think of what you can learn about yourself when you fail. Look fear straight in the eyes and answer the following questions:
- What is the best thing that could happen if I change / develop my career?
- What is the worst thing that could happen if I change / develop my career?
- What would I learn from it?
Of course the human brain is complicated enough to come up with a whole set of different and unique excuses. You might not be saying those very words, but without any doubt you do have some limiting beliefs that are keeping you away from your dreams, from your hopes and from what you were truly meant to become! Don’t let them get the best of you!
No More Excuses!
Excuses: vandy meares Fear Beau Lebens