Having “The Talk”

Which talk am I talking about? Well really there are two… “the talk” to get into a relationship and “the talk” to get out of a relationship.

Both talks are awkward, difficult, could potentially blow up in your face, and are completely necessary. For any relationship to progress, “the talk” must be had.

So how do you handle such difficult and relationship-altering conversations? The only way-  in person.

Like most people my age, I’m an avid texter and have lost basic communication skills due to the digital crutch. And as much as I want to hide this difficult subject underneath some subtle text message lingo, there is no way to get around an in person conversation for this one.

To have “the talk,” you’ve got to be able to read the other’s face. Say you’re head over heels about a guy and want to go steady with him- if you tell him this in person and he makes a face like he just saw a ghost, probably not a good sign.

Same goes for the break-up talk. You aren’t feeling the relationship anymore and need to call it off- don’t you want to see the look of pain in the other’s face?? Okay- that is really mean of me and not true (ish)… But the other does deserves the decency of hearing it from you in person.

I’ve done “the talk” in all different ways- text, phone, mid-makeout session, skywriting (I wish). The only way to make it as clear as day and to make sure that you both are totally on the same page is in person.

So as much as it may hurt, or make you feel awkward, or in my case- make you feel like you are about to throw up under water, it must be done. And done in person. After the fact, whichever path the relationship might take, you’ll know you started the next step of your journey on the right foot.

So what do you think? Do you have any tips for having “the talk”?

Let’s have ourselves our own talk.

Happy Thursday y’all!

And if you have any ideas for an upcoming column, let me know!

Lauren Schaefer

Lauren Schaefer is a nonprofit event planner, comedy improviser, avid blogger and New York City single lady. She documents her own new journey as a young professional in New York at her blog From the Fifth Floor.

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