I’m Whispering from the Rooftop! I’m An Online Dater!

Hi. My name is Lauren and I’m an online dater. There. I said it. Phew.

Joining the online dating world has not been easy for me. I was stubborn. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to do it. Finally, after the convincing of my friends, and hearing all of their stories, I joined.

But let me explain why I had so much resistance….

Growing up with divorced parents, I was very aware of online dating. Every time my mom and I vacationed somewhere pretty, she always asked me to take a profile picture for her. And while I’m sure there were many more, the only date of my mom’s I remember meeting was a short man who was my height at the age of 10 (I now realize that this was a case of a lying profile)!

My dad did the Internet dating as well, but rarely mentioned it, not really wanting anyone to know. I wonder if I inherited the embarrassment from him?

Now I’m sure my parents have enjoyed at least parts of their Internet experiences, but seeing it through adolescent eyes gave it a terrible stigma for me. I immediately associate it with divorce, embarrassment, terrible profile pictures, and middle age men the height of a ten-year-old girl.

It was also a point of frustration for me. Seeing my parent fail with online dating, I didn’t understand why anyone went through it! I thought it was lazy. Why can’t people just run into each other in the grocery store while reaching for the same box of Cracklin’ Oat Bran like in the olden days?

But then I grew up, moved to New York, and saw the light. I’ve realized it’s really hard to meet people in the real world. You have 20 million neighbors but everyone has their own agenda. And as sad as it is, most of your neighbors have headphones in, which are not conducive to spontaneous conversations with dreamy gentlemen on the subway or quick joke with the guy behind you at Starbucks.

(Also since the invention of the retractable leash, 101 Dalmatian style meetings are few and far between.)

So now, I’m embracing the online dating scene. I admitted it didn’t I? And I’ve met some okay guys! I’ve gone on dates in new places. I’ve tried new beers. I’ve been recommended new books to read. It hasn’t been half bad.

I’ve also met some really weird guys. But I have to admit; it’s a special self-esteem boost when a guy messages you. Even if his name is Sexpack_238 and all his message says is “hey ur Hott.” But we’ll go into the full good, bad and ugly another time…

My mom and I even chat casually about our profiles now, checking what is the latest status and who we’ve found, but we swear to never look up each other’s profiles. Who knew online dating could bring a family closer together?

Now, I’m still waiting for my dream guy to fall on top of me because he pushed me out-of-the-way of a moving bus, but while I wait, I might as well use the resources I have right? Right?!

So what about you? Have you felt the anxiety I feel? Do you hate online dating? Are you an Internet dater? Let’s talk.

Happy Thursday y’all.


Lauren Schaefer

Lauren Schaefer is a nonprofit event planner, comedy improviser, avid blogger and New York City single lady. She documents her own new journey as a young professional in New York at her blog From the Fifth Floor.

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