Keep it Simple When it Comes to Happiness.

The last few weeks of my life have been utterly chaotic as far as my personal life goes. As things have started to settle down, I’ve had a chance to catch my breath and think about the decisions I’ve made, lessons I’ve learned and what I could share with other women about my experience.

I think happiness is much simpler than women make it sometimes. Here’s an awesome quote by Brian Tracy which, if taken into consideration each day, should simplify your ability to achieve happiness: “Be absolutely clear about who you are and what you stand for. Refuse to compromise.”

For many people, finding themselves is a job in itself. But if you know who you are and what you want, just abide by those guidelines when making decisions and monitoring how you feel. Keep it simple. Don’t over analyze: if it’s not what you want, then forget it. If you know what you want, go get it- even if it takes a while.

Now this advice isn’t necessarily relevant in your career life but more applicable to your personal life. But remember, the choices you make in your personal life will ultimately affect your career and financial life as well. I’m suggesting that you adapt your attitude, your perspective and your actions to match what you want.

Is dating a brunette with a business degree and great muscles extremely important to you? Then don’t date the blonde skinny guy who majored in Political Science. It will probably bother you later and you will waste time and you will be mad at yourself later.

Do you want a guy who asks YOU out, texts you first, and offers to meet up with you when you are both sober? Great. Then don’t get hung up on the guy who only texts you on weekends when he is drunk. Why? Because that doesn’t fit what you want. Believe me, the guy who pursues you is worth waiting for.

Do you want to get married but know you aren’t with the person you want to marry? Does he not believe in marriage? Do you want to be with someone with your same religious beliefs? If so, then why are you with someone that doesn’t match these criteria? Are you expecting lightning to strike your guy and change his religion, his thoughts on marriage and your relationship? Sorry, this is reality and reality doesn’t work like that.

The first quality of Suze Orman’s “Eight Qualities of a Wealthy Woman” is harmony. She says that “when you are in harmony, what you think, say and do are all aligned.” If you want to be someone’s #1, then stop dealing with the guy who puts you at #27. If you want to buy a condo, start making a plan to do it and then make sure your actions reflect what you are thinking and saying.

I think many women see things how they’d like them to be, rather than see things for what they really are. All you’re doing is hurting yourself in the end.
I have a detailed list of what I want in a guy, along with a list of achievements I want to accomplish in both 2009 and in 5 years. Now that I have my destination on paper, I can review it and make sure my thoughts, actions and words reflect what is on my list. Whenever I have compromised what is important to me from my list, I’ve been disappointed. I should’ve just kept it simple by sticking to what I wanted in the first place.

I challenge you to make your lists about what you want in a friend, job, boyfriend, financially etc. and keep it simple by sticking to your list. No more sugar coating, or going after things that don’t match up with what you want. Although it might be a hard habit to break at first, you will feel much happier in the end.