Fair warning: If  we haven’t seen each other in a while and you can’t think of a single thing to talk to me about that isn’t “when are you gonna get married?”, then I reserve the right to throw balled up paper napkins at you until you go away. At this point, if you want to start a conversation with me about when I’m going to start my marriage or career, it had best be because you are about to either hire me or propose.

Pop Quiz: Does dear Aunt Mitzi ask about your career or marriage first?

Gather round, kiddies, and let me tell you a story about the last time I visited home.

I was picking up my niece from her babysitter’s house, a friend of the family who has known me since I was collecting Pokemon cards. As we’re waiting for the little cherub to find her shoes and finish her I-duwanna-go!! temper tantrum, the neighbor inquires whether my boyfriend of two years has yet to, as Bey would say, put a ring on it.

Let’s be clear here. In the past year, I have:

• Moved from my hometown of 6K inhabitants to the city of Philadelphia
• Interviewed for and landed my first full time salaried position
• Had my first blog post published online
• Interviewed a respected industry professional
• Got a raise
• Signed a lease for my first for-realsies adult apartment
• Beat Dante’s Inferno on Zealot mode (Hardest. Boss Battle. Of my life. Just saying.)
• Paid down $2K of my student loans
• Accumulated more money in my savings account than I made the first year that I worked.

Of all these great topics, dear reader, what did this person want to talk about? Whether or not I had caught me a man yet. Welp.