Family or Work? Discovering Balance
If you have ever experienced the tumultuous conversation with a parent, sibling, and even friend about where you’re prioritizing your time, then you know the guilt and shame that can arise around the things that fill your time! For some, it’s work. For others, it’s their partner. For some, it might even be a hobby, like your weekend band gigs.
Whatever it is, the conversation is never easy, because it comes with a tradeoff. How can you create a harmonious balance with all your goals, aspirations, and loved ones?
The answer is also not easy, resulting in inner conflict. But you no longer need to ask yourself, “Am I doing the right thing?”, because there is no such thing as right or wrong, good or bad. What feels right for you (tending to your business, hobbies, or partner), might be wrong for someone else (everyone in your life that thinks you need to give them more of your time), and vice versa.
If you know you are not wrong and want to continue doing what you’re doing, then do that! Do what you feel is authentic to your wants and desires. If balance is something you desire, then keep reading to discover ways in which you can develop a harmonious life.
Talk With Your Loved Ones
Get on the same page as to what everyone wants and needs from you, and you from them. What does a harmonious relationship look like with each individual, according to each individual? Compromise is essential here, as is putting your foot on the ground if your desires are not supported or respected. Sometimes compromise does not come in the first conversation, and you both need to remember that harmony may take time.
Do you need to restructure your time? Do you need to give more time on your holidays and days off? What feels right for you? Once a month? Once a year?
Sometimes, a parent, as they age, can feel isolated, dependent, incapable of certain things. Maybe a conversation needs to be had about getting support outside of yourself. Have they considered a home care franchise? If so, and they feel resistant, what do they expect from you? Can you meet their expectations and still hold, in the same regards, your dreams?
Strategy Over Compromise
If it’s a friend or sibling, it could be as simple as a phone call consisting of deep conversation, rather than another fill-me-in-on-your-week conversation. You might consider your common interests (cooking, reading, etc.), and make time to cook the same recipe together or read the same book.
Understand Your Availability
If you’re still struggling to see a solution for that person nagging you, observe your weeks, your months, and foresee the year. What time slots are available? Be mindful of the times you don’t feel like conversing or hanging out (after work, perhaps?). Also, see how you can make them feel a part of your life. Invite them to your band’s performance and grab drinks with them afterward, set up a double-date with your partner, etc.
The truth is, relationships can be demanding, and compromises don’t always seem fair. If it doesn’t feel right, you will likely generate resentment toward the individual making the request, so be honest, be authentic, and remember to prioritize you.