My favorite dating book of all time is called “Why Men Love Bitches.” Girls, you need to get this book. Guys, pretend you didn’t read that first sentence. I don’t want you to know all of our secrets.
The subtitle of this book is called “From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.” The word bitch is not a bad word in the eyes of author Sherry Argov. Bitch stands for “Babe In Total Control of Herself.” Sherry argues that doing what you want to do, living your own life and avoiding traditionally female emotional drama is the best way to win a man’s heart for the long haul.
This book just so happens to be my dating Bible. Yet since my boyfriend is working from the Chicago office for the first time in 6 months (he usually works in L.A. during the week) I’ve been a little too excited. My house is clean, his dry cleaning is done, the fridge is stocked, dinner is cooked, etc.
Then yesterday he dropped a bomb on me: he said I was being too nice and that it was a bit much.
WHAT?! The poster child for “Why Men Love Bitches” is being too nice?! I’ve never heard such a thing from anyone I’ve ever dated. In fact, quite the contrary. Usually people tell me to BE NICE!
I’ve seen and heard variations of this story happening to people at work. The difference is that at work, you probably won’t receive the direct feedback of someone telling you you are being too nice.
Yesterday’s events served as a great reminder not to be too nice. Being too nice can be detrimental to your career and how your co-workers see you. In order to get promoted, you need to be seen as unshakable: focused, clear minded, fact based. You need to command respect.
Here’s how you can apply the rules of dating to your job
- Be in total control of yourself. Don’t let your anger or emotions get the best of you.
- Don’t say yes to everything.
- Don’t immediately say “sorry.” Only use that word when you need too.
- Don’t feed into your boss’s bad moods. Instead give him or her space and stick to the facts when communicating.
- Don’t say anything about “having a talk.”
- Don’t start conversations with “I feel.” Instead, start with facts.
- Don’t let them assume you will always be there.
- Take the time off that is given to you.
- Set boundaries and stick to them.
- Don’t do everything for your co-workers. You will start to be seen as a gopher instead of a smart and talented employee.
What other rules of dating do you think can be applied to your job?
Do you think Sherry Argov’s dating advice is too harsh?
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