Are You Rationalizing Love?

Last week, a lovely reader Candace told us about her current relationship issue. She met an amazing guy, but as luck would have it, he accepted a job in another state the same week they met. They are totally smitten, like, “willing to move for the other” smitten. But dropping everything for someone is difficult to rationalize when the relationship only has a short-term foundation (Candace I apologize if I am paraphrasing!)

Candace really got me thinking, how much do we rationalize our lives?

I ask this question because I myself have been in a similar situation. I had the crazy connection, whirlwind romance, then poof! He was off to another land. For me, the decision to never try long distance or never further investigate what we had going, was purely the sensible thing to do. We had only known each other two weeks, I had just moved into a new city where there was plenty of life to be had, and our lives were in two entirely different places. It would have been crazy to attempt a relationship! Simply insane.  But to this day, I still have a soft spot in my heart for the guy and get little aches of regret. Damn rationalization.

At the time it seemed right to not move forward. It was the smart thing to do. It was the sound thing to do. The plan that seemed to be coming from my mother’s voice in the back of my head. Get a good job, get settled, start your own life, then at the proper age, settle down with someone who had the same plan as you. But by following the path of whatever standards you live by, are we cheating ourselves from what could be so right for our soul?

So again I ask, are we rationalizing our lives? Our we cheating ourselves by trying to be sensible? What else could be out there?

With my own experience in mind, I want to tell Candace– GO!! RUN TO HIM!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!! But it isn’t always that simple is it? There is always so much attached- jobs, apartments, friends, family. Or could it be that simple? Just go. Simply on trust and love- just go. Drop it all, start new, see what happens. Insanity could be exciting right? Is it possible??

So that is it folks. What do you think? Thank you Candace for sharing. I personally hope you are packing your bag right now… no pressure 🙂

Let’s talk.

Happy Thursday y’all!


Lauren Schaefer

Lauren Schaefer is a nonprofit event planner, comedy improviser, avid blogger and New York City single lady. She documents her own new journey as a young professional in New York at her blog From the Fifth Floor.

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