Divorce Tips For The Modern Woman: Getting Through A Divorce
Whether you and your partner have decided that getting divorced is the best thing, or you feel that divorce is on the horizon, preparing is important. You may feel relieved or saddened at the thought of finally ending your relationship, but either way, it is important that you prepare yourself properly.
There is property to split, a home to deal with, friends and family to tell – not to mention the emotions and feelings involved. Divorce, whether amicable or not, is messy. And even more so, when children are involved.
You might be worrying about how each of your families will react, how you will tell the children or how everything will be divided. Or, perhaps you are concerned about how you will cover the financial cost of getting divorced? Getting divorced can be a daunting process, but if you make an effort to prepare yourself properly, it will be much easier to handle.
With the concerning process of getting divorced ahead, the last thing you probably want to do is start preparing yourself, but it is crucial that you take the time to do so.
Here are our top tips for handling your divorce like a pro:
Treat your ex-partner right
If you want an amicable divorce, it is important that you treat your ex-partner in the right way. Obviously, if your partner has cheated on you or has done something awful to deserve a divorce, then you may not want an amicable divorce. But if you do, it is vital that you treat them right.
If you are the one initiating the breakup, make sure to tell them in a kind and gentle way. The way you explain to your partner that you want a divorce will set the tone for your divorce proceedings, so make sure to be kind and respectful.
If your partner has initiated the breakup, you might be a little shocked, but don’t make the mistake of falling out with them. Otherwise, your chance of an amicable divorce will go out the window.
Get your finances in order
If you are worried about how you will cover the cost of your divorce fees, the first thing to do is get your finances in order.
Go to the bank and ask for a copy of yours and your ex-partners joint bank account statement, get copies of the information about your debts, as well as copies of your tax returns.
If money is tight, the next step is to work out how you will afford your divorce. If you are concerned, there are many charities you can contact who can give you support and advice.
See a therapist
For many people going through a divorce, having an objective person to talk about the breakup process with is incredibly helpful. While you could talk to your friends, if you and your partner share your friends, it could be a little awkward. Especially, as most friends don’t want to take sides.
If you have children, you could also consider taking them to see a specialist children’s therapist to help them deal with your divorce. Many children find family break ups difficult and need a lot of extra guidance and support, and a therapist is the ideal person for dealing with this.
Hire an excellent lawyer
To ensure that you get the best result from your divorce, it is crucial that you hire a good lawyer. Even if you are aiming for an amicable divorce, it is still important to have an experienced lawyer on your team, just in case things go sour.
Don’t choose an overly aggressive lawyer who promises he can get you everything. Not only will this be expensive, it may also damage your future relationship with your ex-partner. Ideally, you want to choose a lawyer who can give you a realistic idea of what you can expect the outcome of your divorce to be.
For a reputable lawyer, get in touch with the Brad Micklin law group and ask to be put in touch with a divorce specialist. Just make sure that before settling on a certain lawyer, that you get to know a bit about them first.
How many divorces have they dealt with? How many cases have they won? How long have they been practising for? These are all important questions to ask before hiring a lawyer.
Meet with your ex-partner
Before court proceeding take place, arrange to meet with your ex-partner and discuss your joint assets and debts. See if together you can work out a fair way of splitting your property, money and debts – you could try using iSplit Divorce Pro app to help – it’s amazing.
If you struggle to deal with how to split certain things, agree not to argue about it and leave it to your lawyers to work out.
Don’t discuss your divorce in front of the kids
If you and your ex-partner have children together, make sure not to discuss the divorce proceedings in front of them. Dealing with a family break up as a child is hard enough, don’t make it any harder for them by dragging them into the middle of things.
As much as possible, make sure to keep the children out of the divorce proceedings. It is also important to avoid bad mouthing your ex-partner in front of the children.
Keep your divorce off social media
Don’t make the mistake of posting information about your divorce or ex-partner on social media. Anything that you post online can not only be copied and shared by other users, it can also be used against you in court.
Before you post a status about your ex-partner, think about whether you want to end up being charged with libel in court? Libel is the written form of slander. If, for example, you put damaging claims about your ex-partner on Facebook. You could then be charged with libel, and it could affect the result of your divorce proceedings.
If you need to vent about your divorce or ex-partner, do so to a close friend or even better, to your therapist. Just make sure to keep any nasty comments about your ex-partner off the internet.
