How I Learned To Feel Safe

healthy relationship

Was there ever a time in your work or personal relationships when you felt unsafe?

You feel scared all the time and as if you are not in charge of your future. You do not have any of the answers, like roulette. You might be right, which feels exhilarating. You might be wrong, which feels frightening. Uncertainty runs rampant. Nothing is really up to you; you are reactionary, a second or third domino in the line waiting for the first one to tap you before you fall. And even when you try to be proactive and share your thought, it could still be wrong.

I used to play happiness roulette and give my power away to other people. I felt unsafe, like I couldn’t trust them to look out for me. The only way to feel safe is to stop giving over your power to someone else to manage. Awareness and reflection on instances in your life (or maybe it is even an entire chapter) when you have deferred your power can help you reset, rearrange, and move forward. Then you can find that safety feeling within yourself.

Here is a G.I.V.E. guide to help!

G – Gratitude.

I started a new habit 6 weeks ago. Each morning I wake up and think of one person for whom I am grateful. Sometimes it’s the same person. Sometimes it’s five people. Starting each day like this (and doing these six other things) is a beautiful (and easy) way to appreciate the solid gold people in your tribe.

I – Intuition.

Events happen and we have the innate capability to respond however we choose. Intuition is defined as “the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.” Humans all have it and if we let our intuition guide us, we can respond to any happening with authenticity. Give your intuition full authorization and ownership of you. It is there for only you, not for you to ignore it and defer your power to someone else.

V – Vitality.

Writing, reading, volunteering, running, dancing, hosting parties, and socializing are all examples of some of my favorite activities that make me feel full of vigor. Whatever is on your list, do at least one if not more every day to strengthen your sense of self-connection and self love.

E – Edit

Just as GPS offers alternate route options, with every new event or piece of information, your intuition refreshes your perceptions. If something is awry in your work relationship, identify it. See if it can be righted. If not, take charge of your life and revisit your professional networks to partner with one who shares your values.

“Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.” – Miguel Ruiz


Comments? @kellymc247

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Kelly Christiansen

A top columnist at MsCareerGirl, marketing guru Kelly Christiansen has 10+ years of strategic leadership experience and is a Senior Marketing Strategist on the Health Care team at Kahler Slater, an architecture firm in Wisconsin. An avid reader, runner, and recipe experimenter, you can follow Kelly on twitter @kellymc247

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