Why Personal Development Books May Not Lead to Your Success
What if this whole time we had it all wrong? What if everything was backwards and nothing was what it appears to be?
Have you ever felt like you are broken, and something must be intrinsically wrong with you? Do you find yourself in a constant state of judgement thinking you cannot do or be enough? Maybe you believe you will never succeed.
These days there are a great deal of personal development books out there and a plethora of people turning to them in the hopes of finding the one that might fix them or solve their problems. Trust me, I have been one of those people too. I can look back on my life and see how much of it was spent in the total and utter wrongness of me. You name it, I could find a way to make everything mean I was innately wrong. Then if things were going really well, I would inevitably create a problem, so it didn’t look like I had too much, was too blessed, or too successful. All to appear as messed up as everyone else.
What if you were never broken to begin with? What if you are not as messed up as you think you are? Did you know you already have all the tools you need within you to be a success in your own life, right now?
The fact is, if you’re picking up a book thinking that’s going to give you the answers, you are looking in the wrong place. What if instead, you realize there was nothing wrong and you already have all the answers? In the words of Marianne Williamson, “you were born to be brilliant, talented, and fabulous.” If you can recognize the truth in that, then would you ever need anyone or anything to tell you differently?
What if there are two paths to succeeding in life? You could choose both or you could just focus on one path. What if one was easy and one not so easy, which one would you choose?
Path number 1 is to not judge you. Did you realize that judging you is the greatest unkindness to you? In a sense, judgement is your own worst enemy because it keeps you from seeing your greatness. It keeps you from seeing where you already are a success.
Now believe me this was not an easy one for me to get, and I still have my moments for sure. The fact is most of us were taught that judgement should motivate us. If we beat ourselves up enough for what we are not doing, then we will do more of what we need to do. Has that ever really worked for you? What if judgment is actually limiting your success? What if judgement of anything cuts off what’s possible and blocks creation? In reality judgment kills.
Which means the first step is making the choice to not judge anymore. Choosing to let go of everywhere you still believe you are getting it wrong. One way of doing this is to see a STOP sign in your head and stop every time you perceive you are going down the road of judgment. This will be a lot like building a muscle, the more you stop yourself the less and less you will find yourself in judgement.
One of the other ways to stop judging is to ask a question like, ‘What’s right about me I’m not getting?’ ‘What’s right about this I am not getting?’ ‘What’s the gift in this I am not acknowledging?’ Inside of asking a question a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
Path number two, which I believe is the easier one, is to be grateful.
At times, I know it may be hard to believe that the Universe is conspiring for you. However, let’s look at this for a moment. Look back on your life at just one thing that didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. Maybe it was a relationship that went south, and you thought would be together forever. Maybe you wanted something that did not come to fruition. Perhaps a business venture failed. Whatever it is, ask yourself, ‘What gift came from that that I’ve never acknowledged?’
In addition, having gratitude for everything you have and already are attracts more of that into your life. Let’s say you would like more money. Are you judging how much you don’t have, or can you be grateful for every penny you do have? Remember just as judgement kills, gratitude grows.
Now take a look at how far you have come in your life. Can you see how different you are from ten years ago? How about just last year, where were you and who were you choosing to be? Would you be willing to acknowledge all the places you have already succeeded and be grateful for what you have accomplished?
If you spend time every day finding at least 3 things to be grateful for your whole world would change. The more you are grateful, the more you will find to be grateful for.
Still wondering which path to choose. Would you like to know a little trick? If you were to just have gratitude and acknowledge yourself all the time, there would be no room for judgement. Which means if you picked the easy path, the harder path would be taken care of, as if by magic.
This guest post was authored by Venus Castleberg
Venus Castleberg is a business and life coach, holistic healthcare practitioner, self-proclaimed ‘nature fairy’, and life-long devotee of joyful possibility. A seasoned entrepreneur, and a highly experienced transformational healer and coach, she has over 20 years of studying and practicing a range of modalities including massage, homeopathy, hypnotherapy, Reiki, Shamanism, tarot, nutrition, yoga, and intuitive body work. After discovering the Joy of Business® entrepreneurial program and experiencing profound changes in her business and life, Venus began to ground her healing and coaching work in the tools and techniques of Access Consciousness®. Renowned for her compassion, clarity of vision, and joyful approach to life and business, Venus has developed an impressive track-record as a business coach. In one example, her careful guidance enabled a financial services company to increase its volume and production by 300% within six months, resulting in her becoming a partner at Greatland Financial.
Venus is committed to enabling greater joy and ease in her clients’ lives, bodies and businesses. She firmly believes that nobody is ‘broken’ or in need of ‘fixing’, and she strives to assist others to realize their greatness and create different possibilities in their lives and world. Her customary advice to entrepreneurs is to “stop judging business” and to amplify the power of creativity, through cultivated gratitude. Based in Salt Lake City, UT, Venus inspires possibility in clients all over the world through her private consultations and online classes. She is host of Outside the Impossible on OMTimes Radio. Follow Venus on Facebook and Instagram.